Ok, so you're walking out of a restaurant while holding your 3 year olds hand. A woman employee of the restaurant is holding the door open for you and your toddler. The woman is a little on the heavier side. Well your toddler just stares at her. Not only does she stare at her but she proceeds to yell, "Mommy, look at her stomach it's so big". Not only does she yell it once, but as you ignore her to try to play it off, she yells it even louder and about 3 more times because she thinks you don't hear her. Your toddler is not trying to be rude, she's just amazed. :blush: What do you do? Do you say anything to the woman? Do you say anything to your toddler? What exactly do you do?
connorsmama
09-22-2008, 12:09 PM
I would apologize to the lady:giggle: then once you go home explain to your daughter that some people eat way too many cookies so their tummies get big! lol i dk... however she will understand it..
Jenifer
09-22-2008, 12:14 PM
i would def appologize to the women.. and maybe ask her to stop for a moment and explain to your daughter "everyone is built in different sizes and colors. It is okay to be different!" i think the lady will understand, children are just honest. one time liv was in the grocery store with me and the girl ringing us out had terrible acne, and olivia kept saying "stop moving im counting the red dots on your face" and i stopped liv and explained to her that "that is called acne, some people get it, it is part of being different, just like you have dimples!" and then i said sorry to her on the way out.. i wouldnt make her "appologize" per say, because she prob wont get what she is appologizing for. but then when you get home, have a talk about sometimes saying those sort of things hurt peoples feelings and we dont like to hurt peoples feelings, so lets not say that ever again... it seemed to work for liv.. :hugs: i know how you felt!
babyGmommy
09-22-2008, 12:25 PM
i would say sorry to the lady. and then. i would explain to my child that "God made everyone different. nationalities, size, languages.
eaglewife126
09-22-2008, 12:48 PM
i would apologize to the woman, and then later have a talk about how everyone is different, and that some things like that can hurt other peoples feelings. kids are brutally honest....its not her fault!!
when ds was about 3 or 4, we were waiting to have our hair cut, and he was walking around, playing, being good....there was a woman standing at the register paying for her hair cut, and she was definitely on the heavier side....ds stopped walking around, stood right behind her, pointed, looked at me and said "mama.....that's a BIIIIIIIG butt!!!!"
i was mortified....so i definitely know how you feel!!!
bean3
09-22-2008, 12:55 PM
I would simply say to the lady "she is at an age where she notices differences" (in a nice way). I certainly wouldn't tell her that people are bigger because they eat too many cookies. There are definitely many, many factors that influence people's size, and eating habits are not the only cause.
I had a lady come to my door trying to sell me something when my son was about 3. He looks up at this African-American lady with very, very dark skin, and he says "you're so black!!!!!" I apologized to her, explaining that he is noticing differences at this age and was just pointing out something he noticed. What was funny is she thought he said something about her being a b*tch. She didn't care otherwise.
kaspears17
09-22-2008, 12:59 PM
I agree with PP, I'd apologize to the hostess and then explain to my child that God made everybody different. Some people are tall; some are short; some are thin, some are fat, some are white, some are brown...etc.
I love the line in Kevin Costner's Robin Hood, where Morgan Freeman is trying to explain to a child why "God painted him." He says, "because Allah loves wondrous variety." I think it's a good explanation for a child.
I Smile Because Of Them
09-22-2008, 01:00 PM
Well I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. And Genesis didn't say anything until we passed her, so although she was loud, I don't know for sure if the woman heard her. The woman was at the end of her shift, smiled and walked away. I just said to Genesis, "Ok Genesis, that's enough." When we got into the car, I explained to her that it wasn't a nice thing to say. That it can hurt people's feelings and that everyone is different. She wasn't trying to be rude. I know that for sure. She's only 3 years old. She was just genuinely curious and amazed. I was horrified though.
Jenifer
09-22-2008, 01:03 PM
:hugs: michelle, thats why i wouldnt have made her apologize, because she is genuinly being honest, kwim? to kids its like "oh your shirt is purple" kwim?
JeDeeLenae
09-22-2008, 01:12 PM
Well I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. And Genesis didn't say anything until we passed her, so although she was loud, I don't know for sure if the woman heard her. The woman was at the end of her shift, smiled and walked away. I just said to Genesis, "Ok Genesis, that's enough." When we got into the car, I explained to her that it wasn't a nice thing to say. That it can hurt people's feelings and that everyone is different. She wasn't trying to be rude. I know that for sure. She's only 3 years old. She was just genuinely curious and amazed. I was horrified though.
I think you did all you could do. I once had a kid look at my stomach (was about 16 weeks pregnant) and he said "Mom, her tummy is HUGE!!!" The mom turned bright red, and I knew the kid wasn't trying to be rude. I just said "yep, and it's going to get bigger because there's a baby in there." Crisis averted, we smiled and walked past each other. Kids are curious, they will do things that are inappropriate and need to be corrected. Not much we can do but correct it later.
RobertsMomma3
09-22-2008, 01:22 PM
I think you did all you could do. I once had a kid look at my stomach (was about 16 weeks pregnant) and he said "Mom, her tummy is HUGE!!!" The mom turned bright red, and I knew the kid wasn't trying to be rude. I just said "yep, and it's going to get bigger because there's a baby in there." Crisis averted, we smiled and walked past each other. Kids are curious, they will do things that are inappropriate and need to be corrected. Not much we can do but correct it later.
I totally agree with this.
babyGmommy
09-23-2008, 08:27 AM
Well I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. And Genesis didn't say anything until we passed her, so although she was loud, I don't know for sure if the woman heard her. The woman was at the end of her shift, smiled and walked away. I just said to Genesis, "Ok Genesis, that's enough." When we got into the car, I explained to her that it wasn't a nice thing to say. That it can hurt people's feelings and that everyone is different. She wasn't trying to be rude. I know that for sure. She's only 3 years old. She was just genuinely curious and amazed. I was horrified though.
yeah if the lady didn't notice or hear i wouldn't have said anything ether. i would have done what you did :thumbsup:
*Alabamamom*
09-23-2008, 08:39 AM
I've been through this.. it is embarrassing. Both of mine (3 & 5 at the time) were having a fit over this lady at dollar general that was checking us out because she had these huge warts (I think that's what there were?) on her face and arms. My son just said, WHOA, what are THOSE and even walked around to look at her from the back.. 3 yr old followed suit.. The lady told them that is what happens when you are a 'bad girl' and scowled at them. Obviously she was annoyed, and so was I.. Boy I gave them a talking to in the car and they never did something like that again. They just didn't understand. I think it helps if ppl have children, they know kids are just curious and super honest. I know if I had a stangers lo say something like that, I would nod understandably. :giggle: I just think as long as you explain to them that everyone is different and they can hurt feelings it should be ok and you shouldn't have another incident. I told my lo's to whisper it in my ear if it couldn't wait to be said privately.
meghann8
09-23-2008, 11:40 AM
My daughter Lindsay has done things like that to me countless times. Out of all of our children, she is the most curious about the differences in people. We had a talk though, and now she knows that if she has a question or comment about the way someone looks, she should say it in my ear. We talked about how everyone is different and how great it is, but also that it's not polite to openly discuss how someone looks like that. She knows she is free to ask me anything she wants, but in a discreet manner. It's working well so far.
