How do you deal with lying?

[corithompson]

My 7 yo is going through a lying stage. I started by talking to him about why lying is bad, then went on to consequences for lying. None of that worked. I found myself getting frustrated and taking it on, like it was my fault that he was continuing to lie, and forgot that it was my job to be responsible to him and not for him. I was making his choices and not letting him make them. So I switched things up a bit. If my son chooses to lie, he gets:
1.no bedtime snuggle (only a quick hug and kiss)
2.no pre-bedtime cereal
3.no music
4.no nightlight
5.bedroom door closed

His behaviour has improved greatly and I don't get mad anymore because he makes his own choice on whether or not it's worth it to tell a lie, knowing what the consequence is before hand.

How do you deal with lying?

[snangel]

We deal with it right away...must be a 7 year old thing, cause Caleb does this now too. We talk about it, and keep re-iterating that we get in less trouble if we tell the truth. It has been pretty successful, just talking about it, which is how I deal with most things, we talk about things so they can understand, then they usually can think back to that conversation and make the right choice. We also believe in natural consequences, and not "punishment"
The "punishment" needs to be connected to the behavior. Bed time routine and lying really don't go together, so I would never punish my kids by withholding something like the things you described...

[logansmomma07]

I'd have to agree with the pp, I don't think its right to withhold the things as you described. Its really not fair to take away things like snuggling before bed for something totally unrelated to the misbehavior. I do agree with the natural consequences, maybe ask him why he isn't telling the truth? Maybe children do it for attention? I do believe it is just a phase, but it could be a learning/teaching opportunity.

As my kiddos are way too young for this type of situation, and my parents' punishments never worked for lying, I don't really have any experience worth mentioning, sorry! I hope some other seasoned mamas can help you out more! :hugs: