camdensmommy
11-17-2006, 02:47 AM
I wrote this the other day on my MySpace account and thought I'd share it here. I thought some might be able to relate. :)
Things they don't tell you about being a parent
Being a parent is the biggest blessing and the greatest joy I have ever encountered. It truly is a life changing experience. I thought I was prepared, thought I'd made up my mind about everything regarding how I'd raise my children and then they come into your life and you realize that no book can tell you what you need to know - that no amount of preparation will prepare you. With that being said there are also things that people never really mention about parenthood - such as:
- You will feel comfortable picking someone else's nose besides your own
- You can watch your child puke on the floor and not even blink an eye (knowing you are the one that has to clean it up). In fact, when you are visiting family you can hold the child facing you so that they puke on you and not on the air mattress that is being lent to you.
-Anything that can come out of a body will find its way to making contact with you. Watch out for those first couple weeks. Baby poo has a projectile distance of about 10 feet. Trust me.
-Yes, you will lick your finger and wipe their face. I swore I'd never do it. Pretty sure I took the oath, but alas, I do it.
- Your child will look you stone face in the eye, give you a strange look, and then squat and poop while maintaining eye contact. I can think of no other occassion where it would be appropriate to maintain eye contact with anyone else while doing this.
- No matter how hard you try you will always look like you have the "walmart" child while shopping there. You will try to strategize their outfits, make sure their hair is combed and that they are clean but somehow they always manage to look "frumpy".
-Peeing on the potty becomes a magical event. You find yourself clapping and singing out of joy when they are successful. You even stoop to rewarding them with an M&M - how come no one claps for me and gives me an M&M?
- It is nearly impossible to remain ticked off and give them the "big trouble" look when they look up at you and say "i love you mommy". Okay, maybe people tell you that but it still shocks me every time.
- You buy stupid stuff that you would never have bought before but because they know and like the characters and can say it's name you buy it anyway. Example - spending $.30 more on the Dora Spaghetti O's because she likes Dora. You find yourself buying whatever you can that currently fits their obsession. Why do we do this?
- You really will eat that cheerio that they've had their slobbery hand all over because they say "please".
- When little girls fart or burp it is super hard not to laugh or smile. Some of us less responsible parents (ahem, Mike!) will even encourage it.
- You will laugh harder at your child then you have ever laughed at anything else. Hopefully they are doing something funny at the time - it's really not nice to laugh when they trip. At least turn your head the other way before you crack a smile.
-And lastly, you find parenthood such a joy that you honestly think other people are as obsessed with your child as you are. Thus you put their pictures all over your myspace account and you make webpages dedicated just for them and you take hundreds and thousands of pictures and you even dedicate entire blogs to the minute details of their little lives. And yes - we do know other people aren't as obsessed with our kids as us but it is really hard to shut up about them.
Written on 11/5/06 by Jessica
Things they don't tell you about being a parent
Being a parent is the biggest blessing and the greatest joy I have ever encountered. It truly is a life changing experience. I thought I was prepared, thought I'd made up my mind about everything regarding how I'd raise my children and then they come into your life and you realize that no book can tell you what you need to know - that no amount of preparation will prepare you. With that being said there are also things that people never really mention about parenthood - such as:
- You will feel comfortable picking someone else's nose besides your own
- You can watch your child puke on the floor and not even blink an eye (knowing you are the one that has to clean it up). In fact, when you are visiting family you can hold the child facing you so that they puke on you and not on the air mattress that is being lent to you.
-Anything that can come out of a body will find its way to making contact with you. Watch out for those first couple weeks. Baby poo has a projectile distance of about 10 feet. Trust me.
-Yes, you will lick your finger and wipe their face. I swore I'd never do it. Pretty sure I took the oath, but alas, I do it.
- Your child will look you stone face in the eye, give you a strange look, and then squat and poop while maintaining eye contact. I can think of no other occassion where it would be appropriate to maintain eye contact with anyone else while doing this.
- No matter how hard you try you will always look like you have the "walmart" child while shopping there. You will try to strategize their outfits, make sure their hair is combed and that they are clean but somehow they always manage to look "frumpy".
-Peeing on the potty becomes a magical event. You find yourself clapping and singing out of joy when they are successful. You even stoop to rewarding them with an M&M - how come no one claps for me and gives me an M&M?
- It is nearly impossible to remain ticked off and give them the "big trouble" look when they look up at you and say "i love you mommy". Okay, maybe people tell you that but it still shocks me every time.
- You buy stupid stuff that you would never have bought before but because they know and like the characters and can say it's name you buy it anyway. Example - spending $.30 more on the Dora Spaghetti O's because she likes Dora. You find yourself buying whatever you can that currently fits their obsession. Why do we do this?
- You really will eat that cheerio that they've had their slobbery hand all over because they say "please".
- When little girls fart or burp it is super hard not to laugh or smile. Some of us less responsible parents (ahem, Mike!) will even encourage it.
- You will laugh harder at your child then you have ever laughed at anything else. Hopefully they are doing something funny at the time - it's really not nice to laugh when they trip. At least turn your head the other way before you crack a smile.
-And lastly, you find parenthood such a joy that you honestly think other people are as obsessed with your child as you are. Thus you put their pictures all over your myspace account and you make webpages dedicated just for them and you take hundreds and thousands of pictures and you even dedicate entire blogs to the minute details of their little lives. And yes - we do know other people aren't as obsessed with our kids as us but it is really hard to shut up about them.
Written on 11/5/06 by Jessica
