Anyone else completely neurotic over SIDS? [Archive] - Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community

Emmaleigh3699

01-11-2009, 05:36 PM

I've never lost a child from SIDS, I've never had a stillborn and I've been lucky enough to only lose two 3 children through miscarriage (one before my son, my son's twin, and one right before my daughter), but I suppose that alone is enough to make me realize how fragile these little lives are.

When my son was an infant, two of my friends lost babies too SIDS. One was questionable in my mind (she never really got her life together and still wanted to party) and one there was no doubt because you could see the pain all over her and in everything she did.

When my son was new, he spent 6 weeks in NICU and every day they said he wouldn't make it to the next without a miracle. Once he came home I would stay awake to watch him breathing, did everything possible to make his crib safe, and went kinda nuts over keeping him perfectly safe.

My daughter was born almost 5 years later and SOO HEALTHY!!!! She was over 9lbs, no breathing problems, no jaundice, nothing - she was perfect! And still, since she's been born she's slept in my bed with her back against my chest so I could feel her breathe. when she naps on her own, I ALWAYS put a hand in front of her face to feel her breath, put a hand on her to feel her chest rise and fall and even feel for her pulse. She's 7 months old and this is not getting better - I'm just sooo afraid of my kids being taken from me, by God, by their crazy fathers - just however.

Is anyone else neurotic about their kids and SIDS? My friends probably think I'm nuts because I'd rather hold her when she's sleeping during the day JUST IN CASE she stops breathing. SIDS scares the crap outta me, I'd die without my babies.

Bright_Life_Toys

01-11-2009, 06:01 PM

I walk into both of my kids' rooms at night to make sure they are still breathing. I've done it every night since my DS was born and he's going on 3!

kkrpata

01-11-2009, 06:33 PM

I am also. Completely neurotic about it. Everyone in my family, including DH, thinks I'm crazy. DS is months old and I check on him every half hour or so. Same with DD, and she's going on 3. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it... :(

Computermama

01-11-2009, 06:43 PM

DD rooms with us even though we don't co-sleep, and I find myself holding my breath in the middle of the night if I wake up to make sure I can still hear both her and DH breathing. Luckily she's a noisy sleeper, so I usually can. I have to reassure myself at least once a night that she's ok.

And the weird part? To me SIDS is a discussion in academia. No one I know has ever lost a baby due to SIDS. No obscure family friends, no distant relatives, nothing. Miscarriages, sure, ectopic pregnancies, sure. But no still births, no SIDS babies, DD's never been anything but robustly healthy. But still I worry.

earthmamastyle

01-11-2009, 08:01 PM

I agree it is soooo super scary! I was crazy neurotic with dd, but with ds i have gotten a little beeter about worrying! I always just try to give it to God! I couldn't sleep at night if He wasn't watching over my LO's!!

Emmaleigh3699

01-11-2009, 08:23 PM

I've tried to just say "Ok its in God's hands, even if I never sleep another second for the rest of my life to make sure they're ok they'll still go if its their time" and ya know what? didn't help lol I'm one of those very protective types - an old friend used to call me a Mama Bear with my kids and my friends. Don't mess with my cubs :p lol but even though Cy is 5, if I can't hear him snore I get worried. I felt SOO much better when he slept with me, but since I've had this twin sized hospital bed he hasn't been able to :( we just have me and Shae in it, no room for the big bro and I SUPPOSE he does need to be in his own bed and room anyway (since he's got one of those cool loft beds with a slide) but I find that when I get up to pee now, I take my walker right into his room and make sure he's ok first lol he's 5 and I'm still scared he'll pass in his sleep from some unknown cause.

Liddle1

01-11-2009, 08:28 PM

i stayed awake staring at my ds 24/7 (unless I happened to fall asleep for an hour or so) for the first 2 weeks LOL!

I relaxed about it but I still have freak outs now and then... like the other day when he had kicked his blanket onto his face and was asleep.

aecryan

01-11-2009, 08:30 PM

Loving Being A Mommy

01-11-2009, 08:44 PM

I was, but my nephew died at 3 weeks old. Now that my "baby" is 3 I don't worry about it. I will still go in before I will go to sleep and make sure he is breathing fine.

alanapaige

01-11-2009, 10:35 PM

we lost my beautiful nephew to SIDS at 4months old. since then i have always worried about it. my babies have both slept with me and im constantly checking for breathing.my brother has another daughter now...and he is a happy person but i can still see the pain...like the op said. i cant even imagine...God be with all those who have lost a precious angel to SIDS.

EcoGlo Minerals

01-11-2009, 10:49 PM

YES! I pray pray pray every night that DS is safe from SIDS! I'm not really sure how to prevent it? No bulky blankets and stuff?

MommaBunny

01-11-2009, 10:52 PM

My aunt still checks on my 15-year-old cousin every night! I'm really neurotic about SIDS but I think most good mamas are. :goodvibes:

dragondance

01-12-2009, 12:03 AM

YES. That's one reason why we co-sleep for the first while--listening to mama's heartbeat and breathing helps regulate their own, and then I'm right there if there are any "something is not right" vibes and I can hear them. Dd1 co-slept for about 5 months and then slept next to us in her own bed for a couple months, and dd2 co-slept for 11 months. I still check on them occasionally in the middle of the night, too.

jac1976

01-12-2009, 07:31 AM

My DD is 13 months old and I still use my angelcare monitor in her crib (sounds an alarm if no breathing movement is detected for 20 seconds.) I bought the monitor after DS was born. He was in the NICU with lung problems and I was terrified of something happening once we brought him home. I literally wasn't sleeping at night b/c I was so worried about him passing in his sleep. I bought the monitor and finally started to be able to sleep at night.

Emmaleigh3699

01-12-2009, 01:03 PM

Emmaleigh3699

01-12-2009, 01:05 PM

yep! you have seen our house... all our kids sleep in our room... we call it our sleeping quarters... a crib, a toddler bed, bunk beds, and a king size bed all in our little room. I listen for all 4, ehem, 3 of my babies in the night.

I can't imagine what life would be like without my LOs. :sadno:

its not the sleeping quarters - its the bathroom with a room in it!!!! lol

and you're not foolin me with all those beds, I know at least most nights you've got kiddos in that king sized bed :p

Liddle1

01-12-2009, 01:26 PM

i have the angel care monitor too. at first i was really annoyed because it would wake me up when DS moved so that it wasn't detecting anything, but since he's been turning himself 180 degrees or putting his arms and legs through the crib slats (he can roll over to his side but not his tummy and he worms his way up whatever way he rolls to face) I've been using it again. it's annoying to be constantly woken up at night by the monitor just because ds has moved a few inches or something, but those times when he's in weird position or all his struggling has gotten the blanket over his face etc i'm glad to have it.

greek4

01-12-2009, 01:33 PM

I'm a little freaky about it. I have to check on DS before I can go to sleep at night. If he sleeps later than usual, I start to get panicky. I was crazy about it when he was a newborn but we coslept so I was able to wake up if he even thought about not breathing.

3 ladybugs

01-12-2009, 01:36 PM

Okmommy06

01-12-2009, 01:46 PM

Neurotic mama here too! DS slept with us for a while and I wouldn't have it any other way. If he would actually sleep, he would still be in bed with us. I think he does much better in his own room, in our bed he just tosses and turns and wants to play. But I still check on him every night.

myfrugalfunlife

01-12-2009, 02:21 PM

I was like that with my first, but I've relaxed a lot with my son. But I do still check on my girls a couple times during the night and they're 4 and 2 :blush: :giggle2: sara

DesertMomma

01-13-2009, 11:46 AM

With my first 4 kids, I never worried much- I was aware of SIDS, but just always had faith everything would be fine.
Now with my 5th baby, who is turning 6 weeks tomorrow- I am paranoid! I don't know if it's cause I'm older now and have heard more personal stories of SIDS or what, but I am just worried. I've always co-slept with my babies, and I feel very secure doing so.. but since reading this site..
http//www.stopsidsnow.com/index.html (http://www.stopsidsnow.com/index.html)
I am now freaked out more than ever! Baby killing gas- argh!!! lol I mean, its completely out of my control- they don't make those babeSafe covers for adult mattresses, and I really want to continue to co-sleep, so what do I do?
It's frustrating. I want to go back to my ignorance is bliss days and just enjoy sleeping with my baby at night with no worries.

Emmaleigh3699

01-13-2009, 02:02 PM

My mom told me that she heard on some doctor radio show (on XM) that if you have a ceiling fan on it can help prevent SIDS because babies do this "re-breathing" thing and can die from taking back in what they exhaled - but the fan keeps the air circulating. Soo, just because its cold outside is no reason to turn off the fan :) just layer baby up :p

Emmaleigh3699

01-13-2009, 02:03 PM

DH and I are a bit paranoid when DS is in a DEEP sleep and isn't active (he is ALWAYS active). We have lost 3 children (the fourth was a miscarriage) and one at 5 months of age (though she was born at 24 weeks and died in the hospital). So we are understandably over protective with our son.

With THAT history, I can't imagine that you ever sleep!!! I'd be a mess of overprotectiveness!! lol I bet you also take a TON of pictures :)

burnsis

01-13-2009, 02:54 PM

I've done a fair bit of research, and believe that "SIDS" in many cases is death related to vaccinations. Of course, not ALL deaths labeled as "SIDS" are vaccine induced, but I am inclined to believe that the majority are.

We do not vaccinate, and we also cosleep. I don't worry about SIDS as a result.

mommaof2boys

01-13-2009, 03:31 PM

Yes I'm neurotic like that too. A friend of mine lost her baby a year ago from SIDS and it killed me. That was the first baby, other than my own, that I held after birth. I cried for months about it, and it seemed she was numb to it all.

nicole3567

01-13-2009, 03:48 PM

we have the new angle care it has an intensity dial on it i love it and use it when dd is in her crib it dosnt wk in the co-sleeper it picks up on me and dh

cassmartinez

01-13-2009, 04:17 PM

Oh wow, I thought I was crazy! At least 3 times I have just 'known' he was gone. I'd look at him and he'd look so still and pale and put my hand on him and he was cool and firm and I yelled out at my husband freaking out, thus waking up Luke and realizing how dumb I am...but it freaks me out so bad. I have lost a child but not to SIDS, I'm sure that has something to do with it.

donniesleo

01-13-2009, 07:31 PM

I am a total freak about it. I have had 5 M/C though and also work at Children's Hospital of Michigan. I started my nursing career in the ED and seen many SIDS babies and just many many children die in general.Alot of the times the parents had rolled ontop of their infants. The parents falling to their knees, screaming and bargining with GOD are images that will never be removed from my head. My oldest DD had sleep apnea and stoped breathing several times and was placed and an apnea monitor for the first 4 months of her life. My 2nd DD slept in her basinet next to my bed for over 3 months. My DDs are now 12 1/2 and almost 8 and my DS is 7 months old. I have the Angel monitor for him (best invention) and I have it set to hear the tics. I HAVE to be able to hear the tics to know everything is OK. The alarm went off a couple times and my DH was ROTF saying he never seen me move so fast! I am now expecting - due 8-8-09. DS will be 14 months when the baby comes and my husband thinks I'm crazy because I said I was going to buy another Angel monitor for the baby. I told him that our DS was going to college with it :) I check on my girls about 3 or 4 times a night. It is just we mamas realize how delicate human life is and want to be able to do all we can to protect our LOs.

kai_e

01-14-2009, 09:34 AM

I have never lost a child, to SIDS or any other reason. I've been pregnant once and he is now 6 mos old, but I am super paranoid of SIDS and it is only getting worse.

He rolls around everywhere now and will be crawling soon. He sleeps through the night, but I can't because he *constantly* rolls over to sleep on his stomach. He will alternate between stomach and back but I can flip him over 100 times and he instantly goes back.

His crib is literally 3 feet from our bed and we have those see-through mesh, breathable bumpers but I still get up constantly to check on him. I hate that he loves to sleep on his stomach. :(

Emmaleigh3699

01-14-2009, 01:34 PM

I think that once they're able to roll they can safely sleep on their stomachs, they used to WANT kids on their stomachs in case they spit up at night, so they couldn't aspirate the spit up and die from that. I think the back to sleep campaign was just for babies who couldn't roll over or who had limited head control - they might get face down and suffocate. From all my research, I believe that side sleeping is the best, but its hard to keep a baby on their side without one of those sleep positioners or co-sleeping. Shae sleeps on her side since she's in my arms and I feel safe like that :) her airway is open and if she spits up, she can't choke on it, but I do end up with a smelly stinky arm :p

Sew Crafty Baby

01-14-2009, 01:40 PM

I worried a ton with my first two but after hearing about two mama's who lost their children while they nursed, I lightenend up with my DD. I guess I felt that if they could go while nursing there is no checking up on them that I could do to prevent it more than I already was.

My kids all breastfed for a year, used binky's if they wanted them (they say it's a preventative measure), co-sleep in their own sleeper on our bed then move to a bed next to us. We don't smoke and only sleep on the back for as long as possible with safe positioners. Beyond this I'm not sure what else I can do.

katiematie

01-14-2009, 03:25 PM

hope this doesnt cause a debate because its not my intentions. SIDS has been very closely connected to vaccinations. Vaccines can change a child's breathing patterns and cause them to stop breathing all together, all this info is in my blog. In one study done on children who died of SIDS, 70% of them died within 3 weeks of getting vaccinated. Also, on THIS (http://thinktwice.com/sids.htm) site, there are stories from mothers who children died of SIDS after receiving vaccinations. When Japan changed their start time of vaccines from 3 months, to 2 years, the SIDS and severe reaction rate plummeted by 85-90%. Like i said, not trying to cause a debate, just putting some info out there from one mama to another that could potentially save your baby's life.

Honestly i used to worry with my older 2 but my youngest i no longer worry. He is EBF, non vaccinated and has no other breathing problems.

Emmaleigh3699

01-14-2009, 03:34 PM

katiematie

01-14-2009, 04:05 PM

not vaxing isn't the only answer - my friend who lost her baby girl did not vax, EBF'd and co-slept. She died in his carseat on the way to visit relatives for the holidays. There was no wreck, the straps weren't too tight, she had no known problems. They did an autopsy and there was just no known cause for her death. She just passed. This was 4 years ago, maybe 5 - my son was really young when it happened.

i didnt say it was the ONLY answer, however it DOES play a major role. The studies and statistics are accurate. Anyway, im really sorry about your friend's baby. that is really sad :-(

pipermoore83

01-23-2009, 09:14 PM

I am not sure why I read this post because it just makes me so sad. But since I read it I really want to share some info with people. Someone already posted about the BabeSafe mattress cover. I think this research is SOOOOO important and can basically support even those incidences where kids die in their carseat, swing, mama's arms (so, so sad I am about to cry!), and vaccinations. I am not in any way coming on here trying to be high and mighty saying I know the cause of sids, even though proponets of this theory (toxic gas theory) say they do--I don't believe they are high and mighty by the way, I am just over cautious. So here is the deal: there is a special wrap you put on the mattress and it blocks a toxic gas that can form due to certain elements reacting in the mattress. Please do not try to make your own wrap, if you are curious do the research or contact me I would be so SO happy to talk to you about it. It has been a common practice in New Zealand and Australia for about 11 years and there has not been a death on a wrapped mattress (statistically there should have been 50 per year). The biggest criticism I could find on the theory is that the scientist (TJ Sprott) is just trying to make a buck off of parent's fears. Well, after doing more research, watching interviews with him, and personally emailing him several times, I have come to find out the the guy does not make a dime on his research and takes no royalties for the mattress cover sales. So here is my final thought: if it is not true then you are out about $40 bucks. If it is true, it is the best $40 bucks you could ever spend on a baby item. Either way, true or not, we all know we will still worry about our kids so what is the harm in wrapping the mattress? I mean really, we spend money "baby proofing," why not chalk this up as a baby proofing item. Anyway, that's my toughts. Like I said, PLEASE contact me if you have questions.