loudflower112
01-23-2009, 08:12 PM
Hi ladies,
I hope no one will take offense to my posting here. I guess I don't officially belong on this board at this time in my life but I did for far too long. I know exactly what you are going through. I know the pain, heartache and loss of hope. I know how it feels like that BFP will never be yours. I know how it feels like you cannot smile because infertility has taken them all away. I know how it feels like a knife in the heart when another friend or family member announces their pregnancy. I remember being the odd man out. Asking myself "why me?" Hating the sound of the beep of the thermometer in the morning. Feeling the tears pour down when the stick shows one line instead of two. Knowing that it will never be me. I am sad that anyone has to go through this.
I guess I just wanted to drop in and send you all good vibes and a bit of hope. Miracles happen and when they do the pain of infertility can be wiped away. I wish that for each and every one of you.
I spent 4 years dealing with infertility. I had 4 different IF diagnosies I was dealing with on top of nearing the big 4-0. My chances were so slim that we only had about 8-12% chance of success with IVF. We didn't think this was worth the gamble for the money so we passed. We did many other things though including meds, IUI's, and donor embryo's. None of them were successful. I did manage to get pregnant 3 times on my own but each of those pregnancies resulted in a loss. Every month my heart broke more and my world grew darker until we were preparing for our second donor embryo transfer. I was waiting for AF so I could start my meds but she never came. Amazingly enough I ended up with a BFP. We were too scared to be excited and I was certain that this would result in another loss. Well, the pregnancy had a few bumps along the way but I gave birth to a whopping 10lb, 13oz baby boy in March. Miracles do happen and he was my proof. The pain and sadness we had gone through for so long lessened every time I rubbed my pregnant belly. When I saw his face for the first time I hardly remember the last 4 years. We couldn't have been happier and thanked God numerous times a day for this blessing. Somehow we were even more blessed when I found out just 6 months after he was born that he would be a big brother. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would have my own biological child, let alone two in the course of two years.
I'm so sorry to ramble away. I know some of you might be thinking, "Yeah, that happened for her but it will never happen for me". I know this because I thought that many times reading other women's success stories. I just want to let you know that I hope it DOES happen for you. I can promise you this, the joy of a baby is far sweeter when you have waited, wished, prayed and hoped for so long. May you all come to know this.
Best wishes to each of you. Stay strong in this struggle.
I hope no one will take offense to my posting here. I guess I don't officially belong on this board at this time in my life but I did for far too long. I know exactly what you are going through. I know the pain, heartache and loss of hope. I know how it feels like that BFP will never be yours. I know how it feels like you cannot smile because infertility has taken them all away. I know how it feels like a knife in the heart when another friend or family member announces their pregnancy. I remember being the odd man out. Asking myself "why me?" Hating the sound of the beep of the thermometer in the morning. Feeling the tears pour down when the stick shows one line instead of two. Knowing that it will never be me. I am sad that anyone has to go through this.
I guess I just wanted to drop in and send you all good vibes and a bit of hope. Miracles happen and when they do the pain of infertility can be wiped away. I wish that for each and every one of you.
I spent 4 years dealing with infertility. I had 4 different IF diagnosies I was dealing with on top of nearing the big 4-0. My chances were so slim that we only had about 8-12% chance of success with IVF. We didn't think this was worth the gamble for the money so we passed. We did many other things though including meds, IUI's, and donor embryo's. None of them were successful. I did manage to get pregnant 3 times on my own but each of those pregnancies resulted in a loss. Every month my heart broke more and my world grew darker until we were preparing for our second donor embryo transfer. I was waiting for AF so I could start my meds but she never came. Amazingly enough I ended up with a BFP. We were too scared to be excited and I was certain that this would result in another loss. Well, the pregnancy had a few bumps along the way but I gave birth to a whopping 10lb, 13oz baby boy in March. Miracles do happen and he was my proof. The pain and sadness we had gone through for so long lessened every time I rubbed my pregnant belly. When I saw his face for the first time I hardly remember the last 4 years. We couldn't have been happier and thanked God numerous times a day for this blessing. Somehow we were even more blessed when I found out just 6 months after he was born that he would be a big brother. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would have my own biological child, let alone two in the course of two years.
I'm so sorry to ramble away. I know some of you might be thinking, "Yeah, that happened for her but it will never happen for me". I know this because I thought that many times reading other women's success stories. I just want to let you know that I hope it DOES happen for you. I can promise you this, the joy of a baby is far sweeter when you have waited, wished, prayed and hoped for so long. May you all come to know this.
Best wishes to each of you. Stay strong in this struggle.
