Would you...

[Guardandolaluna]

let your 2 yr old or small child that does not swim be babysat at a house that does not have a gated pool? How about an unfriendly snappy dog, or construction going on? AND in addition to that a ton of breakables, a wrought iron stair cast, fire place with spikey things and brick near them, Stone sculptures on pedistals, and glass and crystal everywhere?

Sorry that I feel like I posting a ton lately on these little issues. This is what is keeping me sane! lol I am wondering if I am overreacting. I know I probably more oversensitive to this due to GC's accident. But, my mother is seriously upset with me because I won't let her babysit at HER house due to this.

We had to cancel GC's (my 4 yr old son's) dr. appt on fri because at the last minute my mom mentioned to me that she planned on taking my dd to her house because she had an electrician coming even though she knew I had told her I didn't want her to. She said if I wanted her help, I needed to be flexible and get over it. My sister watched Sofia (2yrs old) last Sat for the whole day and I did not worry about it at all! I know my sister is cautious and she doesn't have pets, construction, or a pool.

My issue with my mom is that she doesn't respect my wishes when it comes to my kids. I told her that even if I was the most neurotic mother in the world.. it is not her call to go against my wishes because she thinks SHE is right.Am I wrong? For example, at the hospital, she kept taking pictures of Giancarlo and he was all morphined up. I felt so bad for him. She was asking him to smile and he was out of it. I asked her to please leave him alone and told her no more pictures. When I left the hospital room to get something from the nurse, my DH and DD told me she kept video taping and put it away quick as I opened the door to come back in! Finally, I caught her doing it again and I told her that if she continued, I would ask her to leave. there are many things she does that I am not on the same page on, but I do not impose my beliefs on her UNLESS it has to do with my kids. She actually called me yesterday and told me that I was rude to cancel due to her need to take my dd to her house. She said she can't do it all my way. All I had asked was for her to babysit and MY house for 2-3 hours max. Does that seem like too much?
Am I losing it.. and becoming neurotic and overreacting?

[justbishop]

I'm not a mom to humans yet, but I'm like that about my pets. I would be INFURIATED is my in-laws (who always watch my dog when we go out of town) were to just open the door and let my dog out unattended and unfenced the way they do their own. They understand this, and we've never had an issue with them complying.

I don't think you're overreacting at all about not wanting your kid at her house. If she's not able to babysit otherwise, then fine, I'd think that's all she needs to say about it. If the electrician was coming at that time, though, I wouldn't be angry at her for not wanting to cancel what she had going on to accomodate me (wasn't sure if that's what you were asking or not).

[CrunchyMama0607]

no, your not becoming neurotic/over-reacting imo. when it comes your lo's safety you can never be too safe :goodvibes:

[ardygurly]

these things would make me nervous too! It's NOT you being crazy :hugs:

[asianmama]

nope not over reacting.... this is why when we move into mom and dads all breakables/ statues/ figurines and potential dangers are going in storage units/up high out of sight. mom and dad agree and dont think im neurotic

[MelissaNCgirl]

I think you're just being a normal mom. Those things would concern me too. I would not feel comfy leaving my DS there either. Rather than make a big deal out of the way she does things I would just not ask her to babysit anymore since she obviously doesn't respect your choices as a mother. Hopefully you don't *need* her babysitting services.

[CarrieMF]

let your 2 yr old or small child that does not swim be babysat at a house that does not have a gated pool? How about an unfriendly snappy dog, or construction going on? AND in addition to that a ton of breakables, a wrought iron stair cast, fire place with spikey things and brick near them, Stone sculptures on pedistals, and glass and crystal everywhere?

For me, alot of these depend.

Pool - Right now here any pools are taken down so it wouldn't be an issue. Even if they were up, if the person in charge is outside with the kid it wouldn't bother me if the pool wasn't gated. At 2 my kids didn't leave the house without me knowing they were leaving the house. Same if they were at someone else's house, they knew not to leave. If I had a child who was an excape artist, THEN I would have an issue with an ungated pool.

Dog - is the dog going to be around the child? Is your mom unwilling to put the dog outside, in a kennel, in a separate room while your child is there?

Construction IN the house? Depends where it is & what they're doing. Ie, A basement reno, wouldn't bother me.

Breakables - As long as your mom knew that if she did not put them away she was risking having something broken and that you would not replace it, then it wouldn't bother me. It isn't my stuff & if she doesn't want them broken she needs to either put them away or make sure the child doesn't grab them.

Wrought iron stairs - wouldn't bother me either.

Fireplace, are the spikey things up or out? Either could be dangerous, but wouldn't keep me from letting my child over there.

Sculputres - inside or out? Can they be pulled or are they very secure? If they're secure I wouldn't have a problem with them. If they're wobbly, then I would.

the glass & crystal go into the breakable category for me.

If your mom would be with your child at all times(in the same room), except naps, then I wouldn't have an issue with any of them. If she is one who'd let your child wander the entire house without wondering where she was then I'd be cautious.

I understand you're being cautious, BUT I can see your mom's point too. If you want her to babysit, part of it is going to have to be on her terms. She is having construction done & an electrician was coming. She HAD to be at home for that. I wouldn't have cancelled my other child's appt either becuase of it.

[stephaniebrookeh5]

Hell to the NO! LOL
Things happen.

[frogandtoad]

Boundaries. Find another sitter. She may be a fantastic grandma, but you're the parent. She should absolutely respect your wishes in regards to your children.

[daisy0306]

no, your not becoming neurotic/over-reacting imo. when it comes your lo's safety you can never be too safe :goodvibes:

these things would make me nervous too! It's NOT you being crazy :hugs:

Boundaries. Find another sitter. She may be a fantastic grandma, but you're the parent. She should absolutely respect your wishes in regards to your children.

ITA!! Stand your ground, these are YOUR children and you have final say in anything and everything concerning their safety. IMO that is not a safe place for your children to be :2cents:

[_Kristine]

For me, alot of these depend.

Pool - Right now here any pools are taken down so it wouldn't be an issue. Even if they were up, if the person in charge is outside with the kid it wouldn't bother me if the pool wasn't gated. At 2 my kids didn't leave the house without me knowing they were leaving the house. Same if they were at someone else's house, they knew not to leave. If I had a child who was an excape artist, THEN I would have an issue with an ungated pool.

Dog - is the dog going to be around the child? Is your mom unwilling to put the dog outside, in a kennel, in a separate room while your child is there?

Construction IN the house? Depends where it is & what they're doing. Ie, A basement reno, wouldn't bother me.

Breakables - As long as your mom knew that if she did not put them away she was risking having something broken and that you would not replace it, then it wouldn't bother me. It isn't my stuff & if she doesn't want them broken she needs to either put them away or make sure the child doesn't grab them.

Wrought iron stairs - wouldn't bother me either.

Fireplace, are the spikey things up or out? Either could be dangerous, but wouldn't keep me from letting my child over there.

Sculputres - inside or out? Can they be pulled or are they very secure? If they're secure I wouldn't have a problem with them. If they're wobbly, then I would.

the glass & crystal go into the breakable category for me.

If your mom would be with your child at all times(in the same room), except naps, then I wouldn't have an issue with any of them. If she is one who'd let your child wander the entire house without wondering where she was then I'd be cautious.

I understand you're being cautious, BUT I can see your mom's point too. If you want her to babysit, part of it is going to have to be on her terms. She is having construction done & an electrician was coming. She HAD to be at home for that. I wouldn't have cancelled my other child's appt either becuase of it.


Yes to all of these.

We actually have a pool that isn't completely gated, and our son is almost 2. He can't get past any of our deadbolts on the inside, and he's always supervised when outside, so it's a moot point for us right now. We ARE going to finish gating the pool this spring, and put alarms on the doors. Don't see it as a major issue right now, though.

My husband and I are really "go with the flow" kind of people. I can see your side, but can't understand it.

[mbsr76]

If it were MY mom, yeah, I probably would let her watch my son around all that stuff. Because I know how very, very careful she is and I know that she follows my rules exactly. If it were my MIL, heck no. She doesn't pay attention to my toddler and also will not follow any of our rules. So it would depend on who was watching him. Even with my mom I would probably only do it in an emergency though, it just makes me nervous for him to be around dangerous things, so why chance it if it's not necessary.

[purple~princess]

Yes to all of these.

We actually have a pool that isn't completely gated, and our son is almost 2. He can't get past any of our deadbolts on the inside, and he's always supervised when outside, so it's a moot point for us right now. We ARE going to finish gating the pool this spring, and put alarms on the doors. Don't see it as a major issue right now, though.

My husband and I are really "go with the flow" kind of people. I can see your side, but can't understand it.

Well, that makes no sense. OP never said if her mom's locks would be locked, or even if her child would be supervised outside. If someone came to your house to watch your child, you'd make sure they knew to keep the door locked so your child wouldn't wander out and drown, right? It absolutely does happen, all the time, I'm not just being dramatic. Obviously if you're planning on getting alarms and gating the pool, you know that. So you can see why the OP is worried, no?

To the OP, you can never be too careful, mama. Go with your gut.

[lookatreestar]

um no. living in az, we hear of so many drowning deaths. it just isn't worth it IMO, even when you have a pool fence.

also the dog thing, not unless you personally know the dog and how they are with kids. (also how your child is with animals).

the other stuff breakables, fireplace, stairs etc, are scary but they could be okay/avoided as long as they are supervised at all times!

[marymom]

no i wouldn't.

[_Kristine]

Well, that makes no sense. OP never said if her mom's locks would be locked, or even if her child would be supervised outside. If someone came to your house to watch your child, you'd make sure they knew to keep the door locked so your child wouldn't wander out and drown, right? It absolutely does happen, all the time, I'm not just being dramatic. Obviously if you're planning on getting alarms and gating the pool, you know that. So you can see why the OP is worried, no?

To the OP, you can never be too careful, mama. Go with your gut.

Our pool is currently 3' of ice, so drowning would be an impossibility. To get to the pool, one has to wade through 2' of snow on the decking once the doors are unlocked and the deadbolts are disengaged.

The OP had very vague statements describing her mother's house. From what she described, I didn't see anything that would cause me to scream "Heck no you're not watching my child!!"

[Guardandolaluna]

Our pool is currently 3' of ice, so drowning would be an impossibility. To get to the pool, one has to wade through 2' of snow on the decking once the doors are unlocked and the deadbolts are disengaged.

The OP had very vague statements describing her mother's house. From what she described, I didn't see anything that would cause me to scream "Heck no you're not watching my child!!"

My concern about the pool is that they have construction in the kitchen which leads to the backyard. there are guys going in and out. my mom always gripes that they let the dog out. If they let the dog out.. my dd can get out too. The pool has a cover on it that gives an illusion that you can walk on it.
At a family gathering my DS fell in the jacuzzi trying to walk on the cover. My dh was literally two steps behind him and caught him before he went completely under. My family was sitting out by the pool and they thought it was funny.
I have no issues with my oldest dd going over she is 12. Even then there have been things they have done that annoy me.. but none that could seriously harm her, so I basicly leave it to not saying anything unless there is potential danger. My dd has come home from sleeping over once with asthma. My mom has a cat that she says is an outdoor cat. my DD is allergic. the cat was in the bedroom my dd slept in. also, she used a down comforter on he bed after I told her she could not have down. My parents have always had the "children must be seen and not heard" mentality. I think they still see me as a child at 37. So.. maybe that is why they don't "hear" me! lol

[Bffmoms]

Hell to the NO! LOL
Things happen.

:werd:

:giggle:

[Rosella]

You are right, she is wrong, and you are NOT NOT NOT overreacting. My mother can't watch my daughter at her home, either, because she only has paths through the waist-high piles of fabric and papers and boxes. She has breakables at Margo-level everywhere that she refuses to move, sharp things just laying around, and general mayhem and danger around every turn.

It sucks, but what can I do? My daughter's safety is MUCH more important than my mother's feelings. Sorry! Good luck, mama. Stay strong! YOU are right! :hugs:

AND my mom did the EXACT same thing with the flash and camera at the hospital, and we almost came to blows over it. we did come to minor blows the first day I was home from the hospital and she would not leave me alone for even a second to care for my child. Ugh. I feel your pain ... really!

[Guardandolaluna]

You are right, she is wrong, and you are NOT NOT NOT overreacting. My mother can't watch my daughter at her home, either, because she only has paths through the waist-high piles of fabric and papers and boxes. She has breakables at Margo-level everywhere that she refuses to move, sharp things just laying around, and general mayhem and danger around every turn.

It sucks, but what can I do? My daughter's safety is MUCH more important than my mother's feelings. Sorry! Good luck, mama. Stay strong! YOU are right! :hugs:

AND my mom did the EXACT same thing with the flash and camera at the hospital, and we almost came to blows over it. we did come to minor blows the first day I was home from the hospital and she would not leave me alone for even a second to care for my child. Ugh. I feel your pain ... really!
Exactly! that is what I told her. I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way. :goodvibes:

[Guardandolaluna]

thanks so much for all the inputs, mamas. I feel better now. I feel vindicated as I was starting to think I was being neurotic! lol

[kittykat2481]

The pool thing is the big one for me. I wouldn't do it.