Do you or will you check your childs texts, e-mail, myspace, ect?

[G4M]

I do.....but he doesnt know that I check. If I told him that I check then he would delete it. I just want to make sure that he is not getting into trouble. Just wanted to know if anyone else does this.

[AutumnTrees]

I check my daughter's occasionally. She knows that I do it but never knows when... I think it is a good idea.

[Kaci]

We're quite a few years from this but HECK YEAH! I'm gonna be checkin' his texts, MySpace, whatever is popular...and whenever he does earn the right to a cell phone it's definitely going to have GPS. In my view with rights come responsibility. He can earn the right to a cell, internet access, hanging out with friends alone, but the responsibility that comes with that is knowing that he needs to handle those in a way that makes me proud because I WILL be looking over his shoulder.

[I Smile Because Of Them]

I think that I will try to trust my children as much as I can. But if they ever give me a reason to snoop on them, then I definitely will.

[dublinmom]

We randomly checked myspace after hearing a local news story about it to see if DSD (who lives primarily with her mom) had an account. We were shocked to find out she had not one but three accounts claiming to be 16, 19 and 23. She was 10 :cry: This stuff can be SO dangerous...I will definitely be checking on my other kids as they get to the age to use it :2cents:

[Hitchkids]

We monitor all email. The kids know that and I don't see it changing for a while. We also have been known to use programs that allow us to view what the kids are doing on their computer from our computers. Granted, this is to make sure they are actually doing their homework so even when they are doing something else, it's never been anything we don't want them to access. All traffic into and out of their computer is logged on our internal server. It's a way of protecting them from the folks out there you can't trust more than a statement that we don't trust them.

[harmoni247]

i think i'll try to trust them for the most part....but we'll probably check in a few times and if there's nothing we need to worry about, we'll probably stop (unless of course, they give us a reason to check) i think every parent reserves that right to snoop, but that trusting our children can be really good for their development

[smbaliff]

I will monitor everything, not because I don't trust my children, but because I don't trust who else is out there.

[alanapaige]

thank goodness i have a good few years before i have to worry about this.

my mom was very trusting of me as a teen and because of this i always wanted to be honest with her.i did not lie to her about anything because i didnt want to disappoint her and i was very open with her. i knew and respected her enough as a parent to know that she could, if she wanted, monitor my activities.
i want to have a similar relationship with my kids. i do plan on limiting internet access. we have a family computer that is in the living room and will stay that way. every activity that is being done on the computer can easily be seen by anyone else in the room...i like this:thumbsup:

[Ready2Bmommy]

I will be checking up on my LO when he/she gets to that age. We have a long way to go though! My mom knew everything I did (even when I didn't know she did), and it kept me out of trouble. I don't consider it snooping or spying. I consider it doing your job as a parent.

[Ready2Bmommy]

thank goodness i have a good few years before i have to worry about this.

my mom was very trusting of me as a teen and because of this i always wanted to be honest with her.i did not lie to her about anything because i didnt want to disappoint her and i was very open with her. i knew and respected her enough as a parent to know that she could, if she wanted, monitor my activities.
i want to have a similar relationship with my kids. i do plan on limiting internet access. we have a family computer that is in the living room and will stay that way. every activity that is being done on the computer can easily be seen by anyone else in the room...i like this:thumbsup:

Agreed!!

[eileenAKAmommy]

We aren't in that boat yet. But I am not sure. I had parents that gave me ABSOLUTELY no privacy growing up. They had to know anything and everything. It was very hard, and I suffered. To this day I am not too close with my parents.

I would like to be close to my children, and give them EVERY opportunity to come to me for EVERYTHING. (My parents were not like that). I would like for them to give me every reason to trust them. Once they give me a reason not to, then I might head towards the snooping area.

[RebekahG77]

Well my son is only 3 and my daughter only 1... but yes, I will be watching and checking.

[escapethevillage]

I don't. But, she's never given me a reason to think she's doing anything I would worry terribly about. She makes pretty good choices, and until I can no longer trust her, I will respect her privacy.

I'm hoping that we are past the age of serious rebellion. Other than that, she can make mistakes, and I will let her learn from them.

Of course, if I ever find out she met someone online, I'll kill her myself.

[jdeemarie]

We make sure that DD always tells us her passwords for her logins (computer, email, and mySpace). She understands that we can check on her at any time. I think it makes her think twice about what she's doing.

That said, we very rarely actually check up on her. The worst we've discovered this far was that she had her first "boyfriend". She was emailing all her friends about it :giggle2:.

[kiwi87]

Yup. My SO is a programmer, so he can hack into just about anything, and will have passwords all over the place. In fact, we will have a family computer set up in the living room or kitchen, so they won't have a lot of privacy anyway. :giggle:

[kiwi87]

Well wait... text messages, no, I don't think so. Not unless I had a reason to. Computer usage, yes. :thumbsup:

[evamyster88]

yes yes and yes!

[monicajoy1979]

I will monitor everything, not because I don't trust my children, but because I don't trust who else is out there.

:yeahthat: I won't check everything every day, but it will be known that we will be checking randomly and computer usage will be done in an open room. Definitely no computer in her room.

My DD is only 1...so thankfully we have a little time until we really have to think about this.

[amybabya]

oh hell yes.

[Lovely]

I will monitor everything, not because I don't trust my children, but because I don't trust who else is out there.

:yeahthat:

[jpicasso]

We randomly checked myspace after hearing a local news story about it to see if DSD (who lives primarily with her mom) had an account. We were shocked to find out she had not one but three accounts claiming to be 16, 19 and 23. She was 10 :cry: This stuff can be SO dangerous...I will definitely be checking on my other kids as they get to the age to use it :2cents:

I agree.

Our kids aren't old enough for it yet, but my niece sent me a friend request from her myspace a while back. She is only 13, but was claiming to be 13, single and looking for a relationship :jawdrop: She also had some photos on their that I didn't really approve of. My DH was on the phone with his brother that same day about it. Turned out, BIL didn't even know she had a myspace account. Now he checks it occasionally, and I will probably check my kids once they get to that point too.

[charisma3458]

Sure will. I'll be snooping, looking in the dresser drawers when they are at school, reading their diary, etc... Yes, I plan to have a great relationship with my girls and for them to know they can come talk to me about anything when they are a teen... but, that will not stop me from snooping to make sure that they are not hiding anything and afraid to tell me.

[jnno]

We will absolutely have all passwords and logins. We will monitor internet usage, etc. We will reserve the right to look through their rooms and vehicles.

Most importantly, though, we will be upfont and honest with our children that this is the way our household works. I will not hide it or sneak behind their backs. My mother did this to me (diary, etc.) and it impacted my ability to trust a great deal. I will not abuse the trust of my children. They won't know when we'll do it (will do it randomly but regularly) but they will absolutely know that it will happen.

As far as diaries go, I won't touch them unless there is a valid reason/signs (not just snooping). Teenagers need a place where they can write down their thoughts, ugly or crazy or immature as they may be at the time, where they don't have to censor their thoughts and feelings.

[jade1930]

When my DS was 14 we were contacted by the school police because he had given our aol and his myspace password the another kid (that he trusted at the time) who used it to create a "hate site". DS was lucky he wasn't expelled from school. Since then, I have access to everything. If he tries to change passwords, hide texts, it all is removed from him and the house. He is very trustworthy and honest so I don't have to check every day. Only when I feel there is something up. I also have a 13 year old that I have to monitor. You don't want to invade their privacy (I had a step mother who did on a regular basis) but in the same token you have to watch everything that happens. My DS1 had a 20+ woman from a foreign country trying start an online relationship. If I wasn't monitoring his internet access, who knows what would have happened. Her conversations were becoming sexual and she was well aware of how old he was. The world is full of sick people.

[GraceDancer]

Absolutley!

They cannot have secret passwords, etc., from us. They know it will be monitored.

We know a few families that only have a family email, too - the kids don't have a separate one. Our older kids have their own, but we monitor them. I got a FaceBook identity for that reason. :thumbsup:

[1sttimemommy]

We will be monitoring when the time comes... I'm too afraid DS will have inherited DH's lack of common sense (At 20 he wanted to take his then 15 year old brother 4 hours away to meet up w/ people he'd met online, we had a MAJOR fight about it.) Plus we know how many creeps are out there, it's for their safety more than anything. Our kids (if we have more than 1) will not have their own computers until they have to. DH and I each have our own laptops, and then have a desktop... barring too much change in the next several years, the desktop will be for the kids, and we can see it from anywhere in the living room.

[mommyfrog]

Me and dh do not agree on this at all. He thinks he should be allowed to read every detail of everything she writes or someone writes to her. I think we should trust her until she gives us reason not to, which she hasn't yet. She did get a myspace a couple of months ago. I had my sister help her set it up so it is on private and all that. I also go on there with her every once in a while and talk to her about everything on there and check who her friends are. So far they are all kids from school and relatives, people she knows in real life. So I guess our kids will get a mix. Dad will check up on them by reading their stuff when they don't know it, then confront them about stuff he finds. (Which really makes them mad. They said it's an invasion of their privacy.) And mom will not read their stuff unless they let me or if there seems to be a problem.

[GraceDancer]

The thing is - we may not know when something happens or when they "need" to be checked until it's too late... and I just don't care if they get mad. If they're doing something they aren't supposed to - too bad. If they're on the "up-and-up" there won't be a problem.

Communication ALL the time is essential, tho. But - my parenting is just that - I am the parent and it is my job to protect and train. I can't do that if I don't know what's going on. All things in love - but I have to be able to do my job.

[ABCDE Family]

I will monitor everything, not because I don't trust my children, but because I don't trust who else is out there.

:thumbsup: 100% true mama :thumbsup: Untill they are 18 an adult. They are my resposibilty (my OP)

[Black Tree Knits]

I randomly check DS's stuff.

He is 12.

The reason I do, is because I checked one time, and saw that he had been looking at p o r n . He said it wasn't him, that it happened when his laptop was at his Dad's, etc. That is possible, but still. So, we had a loooooong talk.

[kalikala154]

When I was 12 years old I had a AOL account and talked on messenger all the time. My dad was in the navy and was gone alot. I was talking to someone who told me he was 21 years old and lived off base. We set up a date too meet. I got out of school and told my mom I was going to a friends house and snuck off base. I was supposed to meet him at a gas station, so I walked about 1 mile and he wasn't there. Now, I look back and realize I went to the wrong gas station. I was incredibly lucky, I could not be here right now. My parents still to this day do not know I snuck off base and went to meet a guy. If my parents monitored my chat I wouldn't have ever been in that position.

I will be monitoring my daughters emails, and I hate being that way but I don't want her to ever make my mistake.