So, I have one biological daughter, almost 2 years old, and 4 year old and 6 year old step-children. We have joint custody of my step-kiddos so they are here every other week, for a week at a time. My daughter is here all the time. I would love to have a baby with my husband (we have no biological children together), but I am a stay at home mom, while my DH is a teacher. I simply have no clue how you guys have such big families and afford it!
We own our house paying less than you could rent a place for, our cars are paid for ... but we do have some debt- CC's, and student loan.
Can you guys enlighten me on how you have big families and afford it?
TIA!
carrie04112
04-01-2009, 12:16 PM
Well, I think you have to simply chose your priorities. Having a big family may mean no vacations, hand me down clothes, no cell phones, no eating out, no cable, no SAHM etc. It is also important for us that we pay for our childrens secondary education (college or whatever they chose)
For us personally, we have 3 we can comfortably afford while I am a SAHM. We have many 'luxuries', can afford vacations, etc. Having a 4th child would eliminate a lot of that for us so we chose to stick with just 3 and enjoy the other things with them.
brennamathis
04-01-2009, 01:16 PM
Ditto to pp. You just have to work those priorities out and be willing to maybe not have other things...we have two and are wanting more...hubby makes $12.50 an hour (so $26,000 a year gross) and I stay at home...for us, its cheaper for me to stay at home because my entire check would be going to daycare. We own our cars (one completely paid off and one will be paid off within this year) and they are older...mine is a 1994 and his is a 1999...but they both run well and fit our family, so we're not getting new until we have to. The kids don't get a whole bunch of toys from us (grandparents are more than willing to make up for that though, we still have an overflow of toyboxes at their homes AND at ours)...we shop yard sales & consignment sales whenever possible, especially for the kids clothes. We eat 98% of our meals at home, we meal plan and coupon for groceries (I can feed our family of 4 for around $200-$250 a month, often less than that). Hubby and I wear our clothes until we can't anymore...I don't just go out and buy a new shirt because its cute and I like it...I actually have to NEED a new shirt in order to justify it. I cut hubby & DS's hair. I rarely cut mine (hubby likes it long) it averages out to maybe once a year...I don't go get highlights, don't go get my nails done, don't go to get massages, etc etc. I rarely buy makeup because I rarely wear it...if I want to dye my hair, I do it myself or my sister comes over and does it. We do free things...go to the park, museum, and the zoo...or we try to keep them under $20-$40. I don't go shopping without a list and I stick to it. You can't really be concerned about keeping up with everyone else if you are trying to be on a budget, it usually just does not work. But at the same time...because of our budget and being able to follow it, we've saved soooo much money. We DO have cable, we DO have internet, our kids ride in expensive carseats (heck, their carseats are worth more than my car :giggle2:), they wear brand name clothes when I do buy new (which is rare, but there are certain things that I wont' compromise one.) I can order homeschool curriculum when I want...I can order diapers when I want...if I want to drive an hour west of here and spend the day shopping, I can. I simply choose NOT to, because the money would be better spent somewhere else. Its definitely a needs vs. wants type thing. But making a budget and learning to stick to it is the first big big step.
lada
04-01-2009, 01:26 PM
I agree as well. We have four right now and I'd LOVE to have a couple more. However, that would most likely mean giving up vacations, giving up sports, giving up dressing them how we want to. In the end, we still feel we have a pretty big family, and we're able to do things with them. I don't want to raise seven or eight kids who have never seen the beach or an amusement park, who never played softball or soccer, and who resent me for sending them to school in off brand clothes. That's just me, however. YMMV.
That said, if you just want one more, why not sit down and crunch the numbers. We didn't plan on four, but I think it will be o.k. Once the youngest is in school, I plan to go back to work. Right now, while they are little, they're fairly cheap to raise. They're not eating a ton, I can buy their clothes at the thrift store, and they don't do many activities. So I'm staying at home while they're little and cheap and will go back to work once they start getting expensive!
BNC
04-01-2009, 02:32 PM
Check out the thrifty forum on here too...there are TONS of money saving ideas over there.
ETA:
I say the first step is to eliminate all consumer debt (cc's, cars, etc..) do that by snowballing your money...start with listing out your debts, smallest to largest. Each month, pay the minimums on everything BUT the SMALLEST debt....throw every extra dollar you can find on that smallest debt until it is GONE. When that debt is gone, take the monthly payment you were making ont he smallest debt and pay it on the next smallest debt (while paying the MINIMUM payments on everything else)...by working ths method (the Dave Ramsey Method - there is a support thread in thrifty) me and Dh have paid off $21K in 14 months...DH makes $50K annually, and I am a WAHM....OUr nortgage payment is 60% of DH's take home pay so we literally have like $50 left over at the end of each month with his salary alone. We got creative to bring in extra snowball money. I cut our grocery budget (now $200 for 3 adults and 1 lo), started the WAHM biz to bring in extra $$, sell EVERYTHING I CAN on Ebay and CL, dont buy unless I HAVE to, etc..).
Once you have paid off all of your debts you will have more "discretionary" money each month that can go towards another lo.
Also, kids dont HAVE to be expensive (even as they get older). You are the parent, you can choose how much money you will spend on each child (obviously not including things like medical expenses, or other NECESSARY expenses)...for us, we now that our kiddos wont be able to participate in EVERY sport they want - they may have to choose 1 per year...we know we wont be able to go on vacation every year - but will probably be able to swing it every 3-4 years, we dont plan on paying for their college 100%, etc..).
Lovecarnievan
04-01-2009, 03:04 PM
Just a few ideas we've implemented:
We made sure we paid down our debts, so other than monthly expenses, no real debt.
If I can (or he can) make it ourselves, we do.
Consignment stores for our no longer-fitting great shape toys/clothes.
We rotate our toys among our close friends so they feel new to the babies and toddlers.
We used a farming co-op for fresh veggies in the summer, this summer we are planting our own using the "Square Foot Gardening" technique (great for limited spaces).
Cooking rather than eating out and cooking in batches to freeze for future meals.
We don't vacation, instead we find creative ways to amuse the six of us. Soon we are going to drive out east here (Colorado) to go star-gazing. We also plan to let the kids plot out a trip across town using only city buses, with a stop for ice cream along the way. Stuff like that can be a blast!:goodvibes:
BNC
04-01-2009, 03:09 PM
Just a few ideas we've implemented:
We made sure we paid down our debts, so other than monthly expenses, no real debt.
If I can (or he can) make it ourselves, we do.
Consignment stores for our no longer-fitting great shape toys/clothes.
We rotate our toys among our close friends so they feel new to the babies and toddlers.
We used a farming co-op for fresh veggies in the summer, this summer we are planting our own using the "Square Foot Gardening" technique (great for limited spaces).
Cooking rather than eating out and cooking in batches to freeze for future meals.
We don't vacation, instead we find creative ways to amuse the six of us. Soon we are going to drive out east here (Colorado) to go star-gazing. We also plan to let the kids plot out a trip across town using only city buses, with a stop for ice cream along the way. Stuff like that can be a blast!:goodvibes:
Yeah. I forgot to mention that. We garden too and freeze/can the excess and eat it year round.
reneng
04-01-2009, 07:30 PM
Yeah. I forgot to mention that. We garden too and freeze/can the excess and eat it year round.
How do you Mamas handle your grocery budget/bill for a larger family? Our budget is $500 a month, but with my knowledge I only want to eat organic produce--- how do you feel about this (in your own opinion and with your family) and what kinds of meals do you guys fix? I feel like we go through groceries likes there is no tomorrow! Thanks for your help!
arayasunshine
04-01-2009, 09:44 PM
How do you Mamas handle your grocery budget/bill for a larger family? Our budget is $500 a month, but with my knowledge I only want to eat organic produce--- how do you feel about this (in your own opinion and with your family) and what kinds of meals do you guys fix? I feel like we go through groceries likes there is no tomorrow! Thanks for your help!
We are a family of 4 and we only spend $300 a month on groceries. We buy store brand everything and only buy the cheapest meat. There are packs of meat that cost $15 and others that cost $3. We buy the $3 meat. :thumbsup: I've known people who have worked at grocery stores that say the organic labels mean nothing. They even did a report over this on the news. There is no regulation on organics. They can pretty much say anything is organic whether it is or not. Basicly, you are paying extra for the same thing. The only way to know for sure that you are buying organic is to buy from a local farm that you can visit and see for yourself.
jessielove
04-01-2009, 11:41 PM
I think that a lot of it is choosing your priorities and what things are important to you and planning around that.
Our fifth child is due in June. We planned on four, but were thrilled to have another. The biggest issue financially is that when our youngest outgrew her infant clothing and other items we gave them all away. So whereas with the other children we had some hand-me-down infant clothing for them to wear, this time we're starting all over again from scratch. Not too bad, just a bit of a bump.
Kids don't have to be expensive. Again, you set your own priorities. Each family has to decide what things are important to them. Up until 2 1/2 years ago I worked outside of the home. Dh sometimes worked and sometimes was a SAHD, but I made more money and my job was more steady so I worked the most. Then 2 1/2 years ago he got a job making a decent income and we moved to a new area where we have no child care, so I stay home now. Childcare would cost a small fortune for our kids {not only do we have four children, two of them have special needs and all four are homeschooled, so child care for both of us to work would be astronomical}.
So we made adjustments. We still dine out far too often {like, more than once per week... it's a baaad habit and cash suck for us!}, but not as often as we did when both of us were working. We have a set grocery budget and this year are starting a garden. Last year we decided that being debt free was important to us and by the end of this summer we should be able to reach that goal. We've chosen to only have one car, saving us money on insurance, payments and taxes/tabs. It's a bit inconvenient sometimes, but we work it out pretty well. We buy most clothes second hand and I learned to sew to make a lot of the dresses my daughter prefers {she doesn't like pants and only wants to wear big fancy dresses right now. Much lower cost for me to sew them than buy them}. We buy a lot of things when they go on clearance or sale ~ I'm pretty good at finding great deals on good quality items.
Organic foods are not a priority to our family, but cooking from whole foods ~ very little prepackaged or precooked foods from stores ~ is important to us, which saves us money and is healthier. I look for the best price for quality ~ I don't just buy the cheapest available, because if it tastes bad it's not worth spending the money on ~ and frequently generics and bulk sizes {I love Costco} give me the best of both worlds.
We don't take extravagent vacations, but we don't stay at home all of the time either. We plan fun things which don't cost a lot ~ a drive up to visit my parents in Seattle {under 3 hours away}, a day at the river {in town}, a day at the museum {free with our membership, which was a gift}. We save up for big things and budget carefully.
We're happy and our kids seem happy. That's what matters most to us.
Tanilovelol
04-02-2009, 12:43 AM
For us the best way to afford them has been to know that they are on their way, lol. We have 3 and the last 2 have been total surprises. We don't vacation and thank God for family that passes on hand me downs and showers our kids with clothing for birthdays. We also do not buy them toys, they have more than enough with what they get as gifts, we've seriously bought them maybe 5 toys and they have all been under $10. It works pretty easily and my hubby doesn't make a lot while I stay at home mostly.
jennybeth
04-02-2009, 03:43 AM
How do you Mamas handle your grocery budget/bill for a larger family? Our budget is $500 a month, but with my knowledge I only want to eat organic produce--- how do you feel about this (in your own opinion and with your family) and what kinds of meals do you guys fix? I feel like we go through groceries likes there is no tomorrow! Thanks for your help!
I don't have a big family...hope you don't mind me butting in:mrgreen:
You can garden your own organic veggies or find a farming coop.
For organic meat, you can order half a cow/pig/deer/bison/etc and freeze it. DH and I prefer to eat organic meat and we found that buying direct from the source, in big quantities lowers the price.
I keep the staples in stock in our house all the time. I can ALWAYS make meals out of what's at home. I can always make SOMETHING.
Price shop for things like car insurance, homeowner insurance, cell phone plans, and mortgage rates. Pay off debt as quickly as possible, avoid shopping, only go to the grocery store once or twice a month, shop only sales, and stock up. Sell things that you don't use but have hung onto in the past, sell on ebay or craigslist.
BNC
04-02-2009, 08:43 AM
How do you Mamas handle your grocery budget/bill for a larger family? Our budget is $500 a month, but with my knowledge I only want to eat organic produce--- how do you feel about this (in your own opinion and with your family) and what kinds of meals do you guys fix? I feel like we go through groceries likes there is no tomorrow! Thanks for your help!
Well, for us, alot of the produce we eat is either grown by me, or bought at a a farmstand. If I run out and need to supplement, I buy regular. As a pp suggested, the Organic label isnt very reliable. As with things like cage free (They are only required to have the door to the cage.hutch whatever open for a shot period of time each day to label them cage free.
dd only drinks rice milk, and I make it myself, usually or buy it from costco (cheapest).
Organic foods are not a priority to our family, but cooking from whole foods ~ very little prepackaged or precooked foods from stores ~ is important to us, which saves us money and is healthier. I look for the best price for quality ~ I don't just buy the cheapest available, because if it tastes bad it's not worth spending the money on ~ and frequently generics and bulk sizes {I love Costco} give me the best of both worlds.
I feel the same way. I dont use packaged foods. I make everything I can from scratch including syrup, bread, pancakes, granola bars, bagels, chocolate syrup, etc... I almost NEVER buy packaged items. It is MUCH cheaper to buy a 25lb bag of flour (I use 6-8lbs of flour per week), than it is to buy 3 loaves of bread, 2 boxes of brownie mix, 2 bags of bagels, etc...
Nanner99
04-02-2009, 08:50 AM
It depends on your priorities. Do you want to be able to fully foot the bill for cars/college? Do you want your kids to have all the latest, cool toys? Some of that type of thing is not going to happen with a lot of kids and a modest income.
We are on #4 and this will be the last one. We live on a tight budget, but have plans for the future as far as careers go to live comfortably. But, in all likelihood, the kids will have to work to help pay for their cars and their college and all of that. They will have nice things but nothing extravagant.
Sometimes I am bummed I can't go buy them some of the things I really want to buy, but mostly I am happy to have a "bigger" family (mine is small compared to many here, but in general 4 kids is a bit bigger than the norm).
For us, 4 is our max for the lifestyle we want, which is what it boils down to. Also, they are cheap when they are younger and get more expensive as they grow, so we considered that in how many we decided to have.
boy-oh-boy
04-02-2009, 08:55 AM
DH is a miser. :giggle:
I'm pretty tight on money too, but nothing like him. We rarely go out for entertainment, and when we do, it's usually either just DH and I, or DH and our older 2. We live right by a movie theatre that plays current movies for $2/adults, so that is the ONLY place DH is willing to go to a movie. We eat at home - DH cooks. I almost never have to buy the boys clothes - we get a lot of hand-me-downs from family, and I've been storing clothes for the younger boys as they are outgrown by the older boys. We don't pay for TV - don't even watch TV, we just have movies that have accumulated over the years as gifts. If quality internet wasn't a big thing for both of us, we'd probably be on dial-up -- but we want our cable. We piggyback on my parents' phone service, since we don't talk on the phone much. DH would rather get rid of the phones altogether but I feel better having a phone on me when I'm out of the house. We pay bills immediately & our only debt is our mortgage, which is about half-paid in the 5.5 years we have lived here (15 year note). I don't know how much we spend pn food - that's DH's realm. I almost never buy groceries without him. He's picky ;)
We have 5 (4 living with us, but the oldest will be living in town again next month) boys and want more kids - at least 2. We do not intend to provide their cars or college - they get to work for it: scholarships, their own money, loans. Of course we will help when needed, but it will be something that they have earned.
reneng
04-02-2009, 11:48 AM
Thanks for the replies mamas! DH and I, ironically, went to a financial learning class last night and plan on having all of our debt paid off in two years!!!! So, if we stick with that plan, maybe our celebration can include the birth of our next child! Haha!
Just to make note too, I rarely ever buy new things, and when I do they are on serious clearance, we don't vacation, we don't eat out often, etc. I am hoping to get a garden planted in our yard this year, and that will make a big difference. OH, and on the organic topic- I'm super picky about most all of it. I know the rules of what constitutes a food to be "certified organic" or just "organic"... but yes, I probably need to let up a little on my obsession there... I once read though that whatever is sprayed on our fruits and veggies in the garden are intended to kill living things... granted, they are pests, but it still kills. Yick! Anyway, thanks for all of your advice and help... Keep it coming!
mybabypumpkin
04-02-2009, 12:09 PM
We did not have any debt when we had our kids. We have 2 now and will try for a third hopefully this summer. We also go to farmers markets and look for deals. A lot of times these are overpriced, but sometimes I find great deals. We have apple and pear trees to so we make applesauce and pear sauce and can it. We can tomatos, squash, various sauces etc. We also go to pick your own farms and buy direct from local farms. We also go to places that let us reuse bottles such as maple syrup at a cheaper price.
We do a lot of word of mouth as well to hear the best deals.
Oh one of my favorites is our insurance allows us $300 in health benefits such as weight loss etc. However they let us use that money to buy direct from coops for meat or fruits and veggies. We get ALOT out of the $300.
We also have 2 freezers and fill them up by the end of summer fall but once we are down to one we turn off the other.
GL and hopefully you will be starting ttc soon!
mommiebayer
07-23-2009, 08:56 AM
I have quite a few tips here http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=795900
We are on 1 income since my hubby got hurt and had surgery. We have 4 kids. We still have not had to give up vacations. We go camping. We pay between $8 a night and $24 a night depending where we go. Down here in south louisiana in the summer, we probably spend $8 just to keep our house cool! We have stayed closer to home this year. Most of our camping is under $12. We have an America the Beautiful pass which gives us half price camping in Louisiana state parks and all federal parks. Some other states honor the pass or have their own. Even if we didnt have the pass our state parks would be 16-18 per night.
The more expensive camping we do is $24 a night and is a waterfront lot at st. Andrew's park in Florida. The kids can swim at the campsite. We always bring food and drink from home so we can save money. I we go for a week, we only eat out once. Last year when we went we didn't eat out at all. We have a pop up camper and it is very comfortable for our family but I do know people who tent camp and just run an extention cord in their tent with a fan on. We bring games, balls, bats, an play on playground equiptment. Some of our parks have splash pads (huge sprinkler system) and the kids love them! They want to spend all their time playing in the water.
CherryPie
07-23-2009, 09:44 AM
We don't waste money on trivial stuff (we cloth diaper, I breastfeed, we have good quality, reliable cars, we own a nice home and didn't get caught up in the McMansion craze, I buy organic but I cook most things from scratch, etc) but all in all we wouldn't be able to do it without DH's income. We may add another one to have a family of 7 but not sure.
sasra_nu
07-23-2009, 11:20 AM
I am struggling with this myself - well, sort of. DH has been laid off for all but 6 months since DD was born. Obviously we will not be TTC while he doesn't have a job, and even when the economy turns around and he is back to working FT, things will be tight for a long time as we have a lot of debt to pay down that we are accumulating while he's not working.
I honestly will not let debt stop me from TTC as long as I have a plan and the income in place to pay it off. The debt will be paid off someday, but I only live this life once and I don't want to look back and regret not having another baby. JMO.
I agree with most of what everyone has said. You really just have to make priorities. Stop eating out, cancel the cable, tone down Christmas and birthdays, etc. I have been amazed how little we have been able to live on since DH has been laid off. We rarely buy anything "extra".
Granted, my DD is not even 2 yet, but I really don't think she has been that expensive. The worst part was the hospital bill - even after our insurance paid, it was $1k. I EBF, made my own baby food, bought clothes at garage sales and got tons of hand me downs (you should see this kid's wardrobe - it's insane - and most of it was free or darn close to it!), cloth diaper... I just don't see babies as being that expensive. I was just telling DH the other day that if we have another girl, I can't see having to spend much at all. Between DD's cloth dipes, her clothes and baby items (all of which I have kept), and EBF, it should run us pretty cheap!!
Now I'm sure once she is in school she'll get a bit more expensive, but once all the kiddos are in school, you can always get a job at least part-time if things are getting rough.
I do not advocate having kids you can't afford, but it's all about priorities and what you feel you need to provide them with. If DD was FF and wore sposies and I bought her all new clothes from boutiques, she'd be a lot more expensive.
Start thinking about what you can cut out of your budget. I am confident you can make it work somehow, if you as a family decide a baby is what you really want. Good luck!
ktmelody
07-23-2009, 11:43 AM
We had our first 2 children when money was hard. It was NOT easy. I had an IUD put in so we would not have anymore. When we moved from Chicago to Las Vegas we had a huge jump in income and decided to have another baby. Our first 2 were 5 and 6. Things were going so well we decided to have 2 more. :giggle: Things were great until the economy hit us hard and we lost all our income. My DH was previously a SAHD and had to go out and get a job. So now he works and I SAH. There is no way we could afford daycare right now. We are pregnant with number 6 as well. Things are tough, but we have cut out the luxuries that seemed so important before and gotten by with just the necessities. We got rid of TV, lowered our internet speed. We only shop at consignment stores for clothing (which we previously did as well) We have lowered our grocery bill by shopping at walmart for our food. We put away any money that we can every month. We also were able to refinance our home to a lower payment which has been a godsend. We got rid of our expensive cars and are using one of my dads trucks (paid off.) We cloth diaper and I kept all of the diapers from my 2 year old to use on our new baby so we dont need to buy any diapers.
For us, our family is worth not having a great car anymore (we are down to one car now) and worth not buying brand name clothing and shoes at full price. We know in the end things will work out and we can go on vacation as long as we have a good savings. Some day we will own another car that will fit all of us in it, but for now, we are just going day by day.
On another note, we have only one debt. (other than the mortgage of course) We don't have any CC's, or student loans. The only debt we have is a $1200 bill from the plumber for a new water heater, since ours ruptured 3 weeks ago. But we are paying them off $100 a week.
Any way, that is how we do it. :thumbsup:
mengmommy
07-23-2009, 01:45 PM
We don't let finances affect our family growing either. We got pg with dd and had her when we were almost at our lowest financially. I *wish* I would have been more relaxed about things, but oh well. We're so glad she's here now and if we would have waited until we could *afford* another baby, we wouldn't have her and we'd probably have a 1yo right now instead of ds2.
Anywho....
We have two very nice used vehicles. One I bought when I was 18 (an extended cab Dakota that I knew would hold a couple of kids...I was thinking ahead!), and the other we got last summer with our $1800 check from the the government (what was that called? The check they sent out in the late spring/summer?). It's a Suburban and we'll be able to fit another 3 kids in it. YAY! My husband is a mechanic too...so we only have to pay for parts if something is wrong with our vehicles.
We don't plan on paying for college. Dh and I both believe that a person will work harder and do better if it's something that they are responsible for. We've both seen people in our families who have had a free ride by their parents to college and squandered it. We'll no doubt help our children, but we're not going to use all of dh's retirement or mortgage our house to pay for them to go to college (one of his old coworkers spent most of his retirement to pay for his kids' college, including living on campus when they only lived a few miles away...seemed wasteful to us).
We UC (free), bf (free), co-sleep (free), and cd (not much...I use origami folded receiving blankets and homemade pf's made from older receiving blankets, plus longies I sew/knit myself...so like maybe $150 from birth to pt) and ec.
While we were super duper poor we didn't eat out or buy much in the way of clothes or toys for ds1. My parents were more than happy to buy things for him because when we were kids they were also poor and couldn't buy that stuff for us. They really were overjoyed to help, and even though now we can buy our kids whatever we want pretty much, they still love to spoil them too. Right now we don't really resale shop, but we don't go buy like super fancy brand name clothes either. I'm finally figuring out sewing so I've been making dresses for dd and skirts for myself. I plan to make more of our clothing also.
Not eating out is a great way to save money. We eat out far too often right now, but we're kind of rewarding ourselves for dh's new job and increased salary. We're going to reign that in though and start saving more money again.
We JUST got satellite this month after not having had it for 3 years. We simply could not afford it before. We have Netflix, and for $10 a month, it is an awesome way to have some cheap entertainment, especially if you have good enough internet to watch online. That's usually our version of a date night, snuggling up on the couch after the kiddos are in bed and watching Mythbusters on Netflix.
We'll be homeschooling. The system we found is like $200 total, for all grades together plus the cost of mathbooks. I didn't pick it for the price, but I like th price...now we just need a printer.
Daycare is absolutely not an option for us, we believe it's my duty to be home with the kids. If came to it though, I'd reopen a daycare in my home (which I did while dh was in school so we could eat and pay rent) or if I had no infants I might get a part time night or weekend job...though that would be a very last option because our marriage would likely suffer from not spending time together. Dh would prefer that he got a second job over that option.
Um, I can't think of anything else right now...we are terrible with grocery shopping...right now we spend about $600/month, and that's down from $800/month. We've shaved $200/month off by only shopping twice a month instead of every week. I'd love to cut the cost down more. I'd really like to buy half a cow and have a big freezer, but I'd really like to know if the cost of running the freezer wouldn't offset the cost of buying the meat every two weeks. Really though we don't eat much meat.
And I also agree with not necessarily buying the cheapest food if it's nasty. There are some things that I just cannot gag down, so I'll pay a little more for something that is actually appetizing. Otherwise we'd just end up spending $20+ to eat out instead of eating yucky food made at home.
cajsmommy
07-23-2009, 03:24 PM
I love the saying "Kids aren't expensive, lifestyles are." We have 4 kids, and are due with #5 in Feb 10. I quit my career 12.5 years ago to become a SAHM and haven't looked back. As each child comes, priorities change, and you do what you have to to make the budget last. FWIW, we have no debt, and go on vacations every year. As the years pass by, we've become more financially stable, gotten more of the mortgage paid off, and more put away in savings/investments. So, in a way, I feel we can afford to have #5, more than we could to have #1 12.5 years ago.
Equivocal
07-23-2009, 04:23 PM
Just have to prioritize, I think.
For us - we PREFER to shop as we please, have a considerable savings and buy lots of clothes for my daughter from either specialty boutiques or other various places. I don't like consignment shops, because everything that I've gotten from there has been falling apart after a very short amount of use or rough (clothes) and not taken care of very well. It's better for me to go to Kohl's and spend less than $10 for a new outfit and take care of it well, so it'll last.
That being said - I have to work. I am, in the eyes of the federal and state government, a single parent. My daughter and I need medical insurance. PLUS, if DP and I's relationship ever dissolves, then I already have an income and the ability to provide for me and her. :thumbsup:
The only way that it'd make sense financially for me to stay home is if we have 4+ children (as that would actually get me in the negative when it comes to my take-home vs. daycare costs) and we're only planning on 2..
Yeladim=simcha
07-23-2009, 05:30 PM
I have 6 children, we get by on dh's salary, and I stay home with them. I'd rather have more children and live simply then to have fewer children and live a life of luxury.
I cut my children's hair- cost $30 for a clipper at Target, saves lots every year.
I shop at resale and thrift shops, use Craigslist, and Freecycle for household items and others.
We rarely go out to eat and only rent movies to watch (usually Redbox for $1). Family fun can be had for cheap, it's not about the $$ spent, it's about the time spent.
We use the library for movie rentals and books, and buy books for less at their book sales.
We do not have cell phones.
We do not eat meat- veggie based protein is much less expensive than meat.
Miles
07-23-2009, 07:15 PM
You work it out. I have got a 3rd on the way. I think if you really want it you will work it out.
doodah
07-23-2009, 07:18 PM
I didn't get a chance to read thru all the posts but honestly, there are tons of parents that add to their families without completely considering if they can afford. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It is great that you are considering the entire family in this decision. What does your dh say? You might start making a list of what the true costs would be.....it might not be as much as you think in your case because you are already a SAHM, can breastfeed and cloth diaper to save money. Research what you would need as far as supplies and equipment for a baby as well as the costs associated with having a baby (like your insurance charges if you have a hospital birth, ped. charges, etc.) and have a thorough discussion with your dh. It might be something that you can consider after all. Do you know when you will be paying off your current debts? Perhaps you can start trying after you reach a certain point in your financial plan. Good luck with your decision!!
endmendoza
07-23-2009, 07:28 PM
We have 3 and I do work part time. We are pretty frugal with grocery shopping, going out to eat, purchasing clothing (I LOVE hand-me-downs), and furniture. (Almost all my furniture was bought second hand or given to us and you would have NO idea.. seriously)..
There are plenty of ways to save.. :)
IvaMarie
07-29-2009, 09:48 AM
DH has set a grocery budget of $400/month for our family of 6. (This does not count pet food/toiletries/paper products) I buy organic or farm grown when I can, and I buy frozen veggies instead of canned to avoid the chemicals in teh liners. I use mc,cd's and cloth wipes, unpaper towels, and try to use containers instead of baggies. So I really don't have to pay for much other than food. I consign usable clothing/items, used my credit there to shop for school clothes but only the items I can't easily make myself. We are given handmedowns and I use them as fabric for other items, alter them to fit or get rid of them. We do have cell phones, but only have a minimum home phone for the fax machine. We do buy new clothes if needed, sometimes i shop just for ideas of what to make. We eat what we have, I shop sales, use coupons, double a recipe when I can for later use. We have banned fast food, make our coffee at home and dont buy loads of toys. They end up with enough of them at Christmas/birthdays, on occassion I will allow items from yard sales or consignment shops. I think it more important to teach the value of family vs. the value of things. Truthfully, you just have to make it work. We have a garden and use it for what we can, I have made my own jams fo rseveral years and we really don't care for the store bought stuff. Although we qualify, we don't have foodstamps, medical cards or WIC. We do have an HSA for health insurance, we drive slightly older cars. He provides.
How do you Mamas handle your grocery budget/bill for a larger family? Our budget is $500 a month, but with my knowledge I only want to eat organic produce--- how do you feel about this (in your own opinion and with your family) and what kinds of meals do you guys fix? I feel like we go through groceries likes there is no tomorrow! Thanks for your help!
mommiebayer
08-02-2009, 02:00 PM
We'll be homeschooling. The system we found is like $200 total, for all grades together plus the cost of mathbooks. I didn't pick it for the price, but I like th price...now we just need a printer.
Daycare is absolutely not an option for us, we believe it's my duty to be home with the kids. If came to it though, I'd reopen a daycare in my home (which I did while dh was in school so we could eat and pay rent) or if I had no infants I might get a part time night or weekend job...though that would be a very last option because our marriage would likely suffer from not spending time together. Dh would prefer that he got a second job over that option.
Um, I can't think of anything else right now...we are terrible with grocery shopping...right now we spend about $600/month, and that's down from $800/month. We've shaved $200/month off by only shopping twice a month instead of every week. I'd love to cut the cost down more. I'd really like to buy half a cow and have a big freezer, but I'd really like to know if the cost of running the freezer wouldn't offset the cost of buying the meat every two weeks. Really though we don't eat much meat.
And I also agree with not necessarily buying the cheapest food if it's nasty. There are some things that I just cannot gag down, so I'll pay a little more for something that is actually appetizing. Otherwise we'd just end up spending $20+ to eat out instead of eating yucky food made at home.
Here where I live out in Lousiana I am a teacher. The school system here loans out textbooks when you homeschool. You may want to check with the school system where you live to see if you can check out student and teacher editions. Sometimes they don't have teacher materials on loan but you can access them online. We have web versions of our teachers guides for Reading and Math so I don't have to take my books home. I can print out a test or read the next days lesson from my computer. I wouldn't spend the money if you didn't have to. Also our state dept of education has whats called the comprehensixe curriculm, which you can access from the ladoe homepage. It gives you various sample lessons and activities to teach different concepts. Good luck! If I weren't the breadwinner in our family I would homeschool my children.
nighty-night mama
08-07-2009, 09:36 PM
Azure.com for orgainc groceries, same brnds as the ones or store carries but i don't have to pay the middle madn. most of the items can be had for 30% less and if the truck goes by you the shipping is based on price not by weight... awesome when you think of a 50lb bag of rice. Also we buy own orgainc produce in season and freeze/can whatever we can.... don't eat alot of resh in the winter other than lettuce and avocados. Organic doesn't ahve to be expensive, or only buy the things that must be orgainc, like potatoes or milk ect....
csadam
08-08-2009, 10:40 AM
Azure.com for orgainc groceries, same brnds as the ones or store carries but i don't have to pay the middle madn. most of the items can be had for 30% less and if the truck goes by you the shipping is based on price not by weight... awesome when you think of a 50lb bag of rice. Also we buy own orgainc produce in season and freeze/can whatever we can.... don't eat alot of resh in the winter other than lettuce and avocados. Organic doesn't ahve to be expensive, or only buy the things that must be orgainc, like potatoes or milk ect....
Sorry, no place here, just 1 child (want many more though):giggle:
But isn't that:
http://www.azurestandard.com/
?
:headscratch:
LilHippyMamma
08-08-2009, 05:39 PM
we do hand me downs, garage sales, etc. I keep everything on a pretty tight budget for the most part. We actually still have our cell, cable and all of that. I'd cut home phone before cell because we are military and far away from family. But right now I'm stuck in a package with the home phone we don't use.. but soon.
We still have our car payment, in fact 2, a credit card and a loan right now. All but one car payment is getting knocked out tax time to prepare for the 4th child.
We take advantage of a lot of community free events. Don't eat out much. When we do it's usually during kids nights or special nights, etc.
We do things on the weekend like game night and then a movie night from redbox.
Yeah we have our spending problems here and there but I've noticed after this 4th pregnancy how much I have cut a ton. It's just a habit you have to learn to break and adjust to more frugal living if you don't already :)
