MY FAT HAS AN EXCUSE!! :-(

[manymillers8]

RANTING HERE -- I apologize in advance.

WHEN, exactly, did it become acceptable to harass a pregnant woman about her weight??????? :banghead: :banghead: Seriously, EVERY time I leave the house, SOMEONE has to point out the fact that I am "HUGE". Usually it sounds like this :
them - "OMG, You're HUGE!"
me - "Uh, thanks.:yuck: "
them - "How far along are you?/When are you due?"
me - "I've got about 4-5 weeks left"
them - "OMG, is it twins?!!??"
me - "Uh, no."
them - "Um, honey, you DO realize that you are going to have to lose all that weight, don't you?? Your husband doesn't want a fat wife" (yes, she said that yesterday - no kidding)
me - "Um, this is my 7th - my husband would want me if I were 800 pounds and hadn't bathed in a week :mrgreen: "
Thankfully, she finally walked away. But I have had that EXACT conversation so often I feel like I'm gonna blow a gasket on the next person who thinks that they HAVE to comment on my size. :whip:

I'm 33 weeks, am 5'4" and have gained 30 pounds. I normally wear a size 8, and right now I'm wearing a size large in maternity. I can still wear my reg bra & undies - the only part of me that's really big is my belly. I can even still reach my feet! LOL But all these terrible comments are really getting to me. :cry: WHY is it ok to say stuff like that to a preg woman??? There was even 2 ladies that we know who said something to my HUSBAND last week about my size. I won't repeat what he told them, but suffice it to say, he has never been more attractive to me than he was when he told me what he said back to them. :roflmbo:

OK, thanks for reading. I feel better now - I just HAD to get that off my chest. :blush: Now I am going to go comfort myself with chocolate - if they're going to call me fat, I might as well live up to it! :giggle:

[Kiliki]

awww mama :hugs:

Apparently people think it's ok to tell pregnant ladies that they are "huge". I'm 5'3" and I gained 40-45lbs with both of my kids. I had complete strangers in the grocery store telling me I was enormous ALL.THE.TIME. Why do people think this is ok?

I'm so sorry. :( It sucks that people think it's ok to be so rude and completely tactless at a time in a woman's life when she is feeling most vulnerable and uneasy about her appearance. :yuck:

The best response I ever gave was to my aunt, who said, "OMG! You're HUGE! How much do you weigh now???!!!!" I smiled and said, "About as much as you do." That shut her up.

Let it roll off your back mama. I bet you look awesome. Thirty lbs is NOT a lot to gain AT ALL! Tell them to shove off.

Or you could just take it like a real compliment...

Them: "Wow! You look huge!"
You: "Thanks! So do you!" :)

*walk off*

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[alanapaige]

:hugs: i know you feel. im 5'4 and gained 50 with each. i always got the "is it twins?" thing...it is annoying.

[bessaroni]

That is so obnoxious. Where do these people come from?

[jadekat]

I get comments like that all the time! The funny thing is I haven't gained as much with this pg as I did with my last one.

[raindrop_333]

That is so out of line! 'Your husband doesn't want a fat wife.' :yuck:

:hugs:

[ktmelody]

People are ignorant.

It goes both ways too. I am tall 5'10" and have been fairly thin. I don't show when I am pregnant, I look 4-5 months when I deliver. I once had a lady tell me that my baby had probably DIED inside me because I was too little to be 8.5 months pregnant! I was so upset that she had said that to me. It was horrible. People are just rude and mean. :hugs: :hugs:

[jenkathryn]

I agree. In my opinion, NEVER comment on a pregnant woman's size. All it can do is hurt and cause worry. It is easier this pregnancy b/c I knew my daughter was fine and am following the exact same weight pattern but it is still worrisome to hear comments about size.
Sorry you had to go through that.

[mommyz]

What is WRONG with ppl?!?!

[lemon_parade]

Them: "Wow! You look huge!"
You: "Thanks! So do you!" :)

*walk off*

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

This, most definitely! :thumbsup:

[bean3]

I guess they would freak out that I gain 70 pounds with EVERY pregnancy, and not a single pound leaves me until I stop nursing. :) People need to get over it.

[xmommy]

People can be so rude, even family. DH has said to people I haven't seen recently in front of me "I told you she's getting big". He doesn't think anything of it but it's annoying. With DS1 most people didn't know for a long time but this time around I am showing much more and have had people comment in the store and such, but most are just general questions of "how far along?" or wondering the gender and such. I think if someone said those things to me that were said to you I'd either get really pissed or start crying.

[cassieJJ]

Or you could just take it like a real compliment...

Them: "Wow! You look huge!"
You: "Thanks! So do you!" :)

*walk off*

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Agreeing here. I wouldn't tell them you aren't having twins or even discuss it.

[mrseum]

Mama, I feel you!!
I was at church and this elderly woman came up to me and said: "You eat too much." I was like "WHAT?!" :banghead: I thought maybe she was joking, and tried telling her I was pregnant.
Of course I go to a Korean church, so I wasn't sure if she was joking or being totally serious, and I couldn't read her. Completely ruined my day!!
Anyways, after that day I didn't let it get to me again. After all, we are growing babies in there!! This is as good an "excuse" as any to gain weight, and have a healthy baby, rather than starve ourselves and risk a sick, underweight one!

[lil_jodi]

People speak without thinking. I am 5'4" and gained 43lbs with my son. I got all kinds of comments. My neighbor, who was WAY bigger than me when I was 9 months pregnant, and she was NOT pregnant, looked at me and said "You're HUGE!" I had to bite my tongue not to say "I'm 9 months pregnant, what's your excuse?" I also heard it from my dad all the time. "You just keep getting bigger" "Yeah dad, I'm pregnant, that's how it works. You get bigger for 9 months, not smaller." My supervisor at work. "Did you get a lot bigger recently??" My friend's husband. "Are you having twins??"

I wasn't really that big, despite what I gained. I was tiny until 32 weeks and then my belly just exploded. God, I think my fat father and my fat neighbor pissed me off the most. Really. Especially the neighbor, who was huge, and you should have seen how big she was when she was 9 months pregnant. Made my big ol' belly look small.

[Computermama]

RANTING HERE -- I apologize in advance.

WHEN, exactly, did it become acceptable to harass a pregnant woman about her weight??????? :banghead: :banghead: Seriously, EVERY time I leave the house, SOMEONE has to point out the fact that I am "HUGE". Usually it sounds like this :
them - "OMG, You're HUGE!"
me - "Uh, thanks.:yuck: "
them - "How far along are you?/When are you due?"
me - "I've got about 4-5 weeks left"
them - "OMG, is it twins?!!??"
me - "Uh, no."
them - "Um, honey, you DO realize that you are going to have to lose all that weight, don't you?? Your husband doesn't want a fat wife" (yes, she said that yesterday - no kidding)
me - "Um, this is my 7th - my husband would want me if I were 800 pounds and hadn't bathed in a week :mrgreen: "
Thankfully, she finally walked away. But I have had that EXACT conversation so often I feel like I'm gonna blow a gasket on the next person who thinks that they HAVE to comment on my size. :whip:

I'm 33 weeks, am 5'4" and have gained 30 pounds. I normally wear a size 8, and right now I'm wearing a size large in maternity. I can still wear my reg bra & undies - the only part of me that's really big is my belly. I can even still reach my feet! LOL But all these terrible comments are really getting to me. :cry: WHY is it ok to say stuff like that to a preg woman??? There was even 2 ladies that we know who said something to my HUSBAND last week about my size. I won't repeat what he told them, but suffice it to say, he has never been more attractive to me than he was when he told me what he said back to them. :roflmbo:

OK, thanks for reading. I feel better now - I just HAD to get that off my chest. :blush: Now I am going to go comfort myself with chocolate - if they're going to call me fat, I might as well live up to it! :giggle:

:hugs:

I can so relate mama. I had people like that the entire last trimester of my pregnancy. I actually freaked out once and refused to go with DH to go grocery shopping once because I couldn't take the constant comments on it anymore. Had I not been so sensitive and hormonal, I might have made a comment to them about it being rude to comment on a woman's size regardless of her age or condition and left it at that.

[jessielove]

Start snapping back. I get so tired of people thinking it's okay to comment on a woman's weight just because she's pregnant. Weight is a very sensitive issue for me right now and I stopped holding back the irritation a long time ago. My response is usually "Actually, I've lost a lot of weight due to being very ill and I would appreciate if you kept your rude comments to yourself." Not very nice, but neither is calling someone fat. I'm generally a nice person and just grit my teeth and respond politely when people get annoying, but this is one subject I'm very touchy about right now. I'm usually rather overweight, but I suffer from HG {hyperemesis gravidarum} while pregnant. I have lost a lot of weight ~ nearly 30 pounds overall ~ and eating is a struggle for me because I'm still, at almost 32 weeks, so nauseated all of the time. So when someone comments on my weight {like my mother does constantly whenever I see or talk to her}, it is pretty upsetting for me. Nothing like hearing someone say, "Geez, you know you don't actually have to eat for two, right?" when eating even a cracker is a struggle.

Okay, that was more ranty than I intended! But yeah, it's not okay to comment on someone's weight. It's rude.

[caricandothis]

:hugs: mama. I don't know how ppl can be so rude!

I have people telling me all the time "you look like you're ready to drop any second!" :headscratch: I wonder about that one...am I surrounded by psychics or something?

I'm petite (about 5'2" and 110ish non-pg) and I generally gain 30-40 lbs when pg. EVERYTHING grows on me and ppl always tell me how "non sick" I look when I'm first pg...then it turns into "how much have you gained??" towards the end. I guess everyone else knows better than I how my body is supposed to look. :rolleyes: Whatev.

[blessedw2pink]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have gained about 50 lbs this pregnancy and it is all in my belly! I have been getting the "drop any second now" comments since I was 7 months along. Really annoying.

I now tell people I am the next Octomom and leave it at that. It seems to stop the "huge" comments. :rolleyes:

[Computermama]

I have never figured out people. It's considered hideously taboo to comment on a woman's weight at any other time in her life, but wait until she's probably not feeling her best, super emotional and hormonal, and probably at the most volatile she'll ever be, and then make it ok to call her huge? :headscratch: Way to kick a person when they're already down.

[medaroge]

:hugs: I know, its crazy. When I was 6 months pregnant people would ask me how far along I was and when I told them they would say "are you sure you're not further along?" Uh, yeah, pretty sure, thanks though.:headscratch:

[Kiliki]

I know I already commented, but I wanted to reiterate how great the witty snappy comebacks can make you feel. Somehow just dishing it right back at them always made me feel so fulfilled and triumphant. It was a great way to get my sarcasm and frustration out without hurting those close to me!

I hated the questions. I mean, I know that some people mean good but truly, they just don't know when to stop. And, when I was at the end of my last pregnancy, I was ready to scratch your eyeballs out of your head if you even looked at me sideways. The last thing I needed were the rude comments, and some of them just bordered on ridiculous.

"Wow! Are you pregnant?"
"Nope, I just swallowed a basketball from the sporting goods department!"

I already shared the huge comment with you - I did that more than once to people who wanted to tell me I'm huge.

More often than not, when I couldn't be witty, I resorted to a generic, "Wow! That was really rude! You really know how to make a pregnant woman feel good about herself! Thanks a LOT!" That usually left them feeling like crap, and I felt great for making them feel the way I would have felt otherwise. (I'm telling you, I was pure evil!)

A friend came to me and jokingly said, "Where's your girdle?" to which I responded, "Where's YOUR toupee?" (He was balding)

I also got a lot of, "You look like you're gonna explode any second!" I'd smile and say, "Better wear a raincoat!" ("Thanks, so do you" works well here, too)

It just got so old. I don't know if it's that people just don't know WHAT to say but feel the need to say SOMETHING or if it's that their filter gets turned off when they see a pregnant woman... but really, people just need to stop. I mean if they would take 2 seconds to think about what they are saying, they probably wouldn't say it.

Anyway, that turned into a rant, but I just wanted to tell you to never underestimate the power of a snappy comeback. Sometimes, it can make you feel like a million bucks, when otherwise you might not. And, of course, you have to reserve your wittiness for those you know are just truly being dumb. Or dull it down for those who are your friends but are being insensative. Either way, don't let it bring you down. :hugs:

[silver]

People are so insensitive :hugs:

There is NOTHING more beautiful than a woman carrying a child, in my opinon. :goodvibes:

[manymillers8]

Awww, thanks mama's for all the support. I know I'm prob just hormonal right now, but it still bothers me for people to be so rude & insensitive.

Kiliki, I'm DEF going to use some of your comebacks the next time someone gets mouthy with me!!! LOL I love the "Thanks, you are too" response to being huge - that should get people to realize the words that are spewing out of their mouths! :hugs: to you and everyone for making me feel better.

[RJmomof2]

oh honey that womamn is a b word for real.

[camom2007]

:hugs: ss these people don't know how to treat you. there is nothing you need to live up to cuz you are fine. :thumbsup: 30 pounds is a good target weight for a single pregnancy. if it were me I probably would have ripped them a new one. as long as you take care of yourself that is all that matters.

[ariandsofiesmom]

What amazes me the most is that complete strangers feel that it is ok to say this kind of stuff to begin with...What is wrong with people?!?

When I was preggo with my daughter and I was about 4-5 months along, I was at a store getting ready to try some maternity clothes on and the lady in the dressing room asked me how far along I was...I told her and she then said "OMG you are huge...Your baby is going to be really big"...What got me the most is that she had three kids herself. Seriously...! And I only gained 26pounds w/ my daughter!

My favorite line of all time is "Wow you are pregnant!"
OMG, really...Is that what the belly is in front of me! LOL

[MacMama]

I can't believe some of those comments! I get the "huge" and "twins" comment constantly with my pregnancies (even this one already) but I never thought of it as commenting on my weight-- just my belly size, which is, I'll admit, bigger than average.

The only comments that really make my blood boil are the ones about the gender of the baby...everyone assumes I want a boy, and of course I don't care. When I was preggo with DD2 and a man asked if I was "getting a boy this time" he actually told me "Sorry, maybe next time." !?! Like my second beautiful daughter wasn't an amazing gift and I should probably return her. Stupid guy.

[honeylover122]

How rude! Sorry! I went through the same thing when I was preg- the nurse practicioner told me at my 6mo appt- keep in mind this is the first time I had gained ANY weight- that the 5lbs in 4wks I had gained was too much fat & that I needed to "lay off the fast food" which I couldn't eat due to heartburn...

some people just don't get it... I am short- 5'1" & not "fat" but I have wide hips- & when I am preg I am HUGE through my middle... I just have large babies & carry them forward...

sorry on a tangent... Anyway- I used to snap at the people what would say that & say do I call you fat? or do I say you're rather large? that pretty much shuts them up!

:hugs:

[Sarahb44]

:gah: how rude. :bighug:

[ACSNMama]

WOW! I'm 5'3" and gained 35 lbs with DD! SILLY PEOPLE. How rude.

[AshleyLD]

I got that all the time.. 'wow your Huge, Is it twins"
Well yes actually it is
"wow you look great for twins"
WTH is that supposed to mean?

I only gained 30 lbs with the twins.. and 75 with my dd...