I'm sixteen weeks pregnant and still nursing my two-year-old five or six times per day plus at night and my nipples are killing me. How long does it take for the tenderness to go away or will I have to deal with this the whole time I am pregnant? TIA for any info.
05-21-2006, 10:08 AM
HAHAHA!!! i did that. nursed through the entire pregnancy and let me tell you, it sucked!! I hated it with a passion, but I knew that it was better for ds if i contimued letting him nurse, for the actual bm benefits and to help pave the way with the new baby.
It hurts like a mf for a few weeks and then it goes away. it started to hurt me around 20 weeks and stopped around 29-30 weeks. I had a few weeks of bliss!! no pain, nothing. just regular nursing. then, around 33 weeks it got annoying. like claw out your eyeballs and it gives you the willies annoying. I wanted to chop my boobs off, grind them up and pour them down the disposal it was so awful. I would have taked the blistering bloody hurting nipples any day than deal with the annoyance. I stuck it out though. as soon as the baby was born and i nursed my toddler the annoyance was completly gone! My case in not in the minority though :( lots of women feel this way. some women NEVER feel any changes except when the milk dries up right before colostrum and then there is a little painful dry nursing.
i'm not trying to scare you lol, just wanted to say that yeah it sux and yeah i've been there. stick it out mama, it will get better.
adventures in tandem nursing is really good too.
05-21-2006, 04:53 PM
I didn't have any 1st trimester soreness with breastfeeding, but it did start around 18-19 weeks for me. I'm assuming that's because I'm all dried up??? I don't know, but hopefully it won't last for the remainder of the pregnancy.
05-22-2006, 07:40 AM
DJ was about 15 months old when I got pregnant. The first trimester for me was excruciating. I did a lot of thinking and praying and researching and soul-searching. The conclusion I came to was that yes, there are benefits to extended breastfeeding, but not if it made me want to kill him or myself or both...kwim? I feel like the breastfeeding relationship should be a partnership and if it's just not working for one of the parties, then the situation needs to be reevaluated. I might have felt differently if I'd gotten pregnant when DJ was just a few months old, but IMO, as the baby grows, the partnership becomes less one-sided and more balanced...so at his age, I felt like it was reasonable to consider my needs too. And of course, there's the fact that I was SOOO miserable that it was affecting my relationship with him and causing him undue stress not to mention potentially stressing the new baby while he's still cooking. Still, all that said, DJ was not ready to wean and I was not willing to force him to so we had to find a compromise. At first I was scared to talk to anyone about my situation because it seems like everyone I know is at one end of the spectrum or the other. I know a few militant breastfeeders who say the mother should just suck it up and deal with the pain, no matter what, and a few people who thought I should have weaned long ago anyway and that nursing through pregnancy or tandem nursing was just crazy. I found myself somewhere in the middle of that spectrum and didn't figure I'd get much support from either group. So I started out trying to do what felt right to me, on my own, in secret. There were times when DJ would try to nurse and I just couldn't take it so I would try to distract him or even bribe him (:blush: ) to buy myself a break. Other times, I'd let him nurse for a few minutes, then encourage him to move on to something else when I couldn't take it anymore. Other times, I'd bite my lip and try to just suck it up because it was what he needed at the moment. As time went on, I did find some other people who were going through the same thing as me, and I got more confident about talking about the situation and found that I was not alone. I discovered two really awesome websites (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html and http://www.nursingtwo.com/) that helped me a lot. I highly recommend the book "Adventures in Tandem Nursing". This may sound crazy, but as I read about tandem nursing in history and around the world and read other mothers' tandem nursing and pregnancy nursing stories, I started to really feel empowered. Like this really was my decision and it's ok if I want to wean before the new baby comes but it's also ok if I want to stick it out and tandem nurse. Just knowing that I have a choice and I'm not a horrible mother for choosing one way or the other really made a difference in my outlook on the situation and made it a lot easier for me. I also found out that my instincts were on the "right" track. The advice I saw in a lot of places and got from a lot of people was that if you want to continue nursing through pregnancy, to make it more bearable, work on reducing the frequency and duration of nursing and try to find a compromise that lets both you and the baby get what you need. I know you're probably thinking that's oversimplified and won't work for your baby (seems like everyone thinks that!) but give it a shot. DJ was very attached to "his boobies" but he was actually very understanding and things went fairly smoothly. I would tell him that he could nurse through one song and then we'd have his big-boy dinosaur cup or he could nurse for a few minutes and then the boobies were going night night or something like that. Sometimes I'd distract him by telling him he could either nurse or watch a movie or have a story but not both. If we were curled up watching a movie, I could tell him he could nurse after the movie was over knowing that he'd fall asleep before then and I'd be off the hook. If he wanted to turn the movie off and nurse, fine, then he could nurse for one or two songs and then the boobies were going night night. I was surprised at how understanding he was. Around the time I was 4 months pregnant, he wound up pretty much weaning himself. He started asking less and less so when he went for an entire week without asking, I made the executive decision that we were done. He has asked since then, but I just remind him that he's a big boy now and he doesn't do that anymore and he's always fine with it. I don't know how he'll react when the new baby starts getting his boobies, but I think it will be a lot easier since he's had a few months to adjust to the idea.
I still sometimes feel guilty for saying that I'm glad he weaned himself when he did, but I can at least take comfort in knowing that he made the decision himself and I didn't force him (even if I did "encourage" him in that direction) to do something he wasn't ready for. If I find myself pregnant and nursing again, I will try to consider the big picture and look at all the variables and maek a decision based on everything. I think that it is a very personal decision and there are a lot of factors to be considered. I can tell you that when I was pregnant with DJ, I never had any tenderness or soreness in my breasts...I could have nursed through that pregnancy with no worries. This time, I've been so sore and tender the entire time! A bra hurts, a t-shirt hurts, water running on them in the shower hurts. I think that I made the right decision for us and things worked out the way they were supposed to. Next time, who knows?
Good luck with whatever you decide...I'm sure it will be the right decision for you!
05-24-2006, 06:30 AM
I think the PP's have given you all the info I would have...LOL
Just wanted to say I had minor tenderness during the first trimester of my last pregnancy and it eased up, but it with this pregnancy it's been getting progressively worse...so I'm not sure what I'll end up doing yet.
:hugs: Make the decision that is right for you, momma!
05-24-2006, 03:05 PM
My little guy weaned himself when I was about 12 weeks pregnant and he was a year old. I was really sad for him to quit, but it was so very painful. I tried pumping, but that hurt to. I think it's grea that you are still nursing, and totally believe in child led weaning, but if it is really hurting you, maybe you could try cutting back a few sessions?
05-24-2006, 03:46 PM
hey!! i didnt know you were pregnant, i havent seen you around here in a long time!! anyway i dont have anything else to add cause ive only got one baby, but congrats :D
05-25-2006, 06:18 AM
I have done that twice now, and I had to wean both times b/c it hurt so badly. I know, not what you wanted to hear... but for me it was just terrible, I dreaded nursing and often ended up in tears. I was so sad to wean but it was right for us... I am hoping to not be pregnant this time so we can go longer.
I hope the pain ends for you- I know it does for some, I am just not one of the lucky ones.
05-26-2006, 05:51 AM
I really hated weaning to, and in my case it was almost to easy cause once I weaned him at night he just quit during the day. But I to hope that we won't have anymore anytime soon after this little guy so that I can let him nurse as long as he wants.