The title says it: Should I allow my 12 yr old niece(in-law) drink coffee? I know she's had "kid's coffee" which is a hint of coffee, tons of sugar and cup of milk since she was 6 or so (I was shocked to learn that too at the time). She's visiting for 2 weeks with us. First I thought she just took some coffee when I had some (I did not approve of that either). Then I started making barely enough. Like this morning, I got up 2 hrs earlier than she did, and made sure there was no coffee left when she got up. What does she do - she makes her own! And not just a cup, half a pot!! I thought of calling her mom, my sister in law, but what if this is something she does at home too, then I'd just be calling her a bad mom...what can I do? Do I just let her drink all that coffee? I know she does not understand why coffee is bad, how could a 12 yr understand that.
my2sweets
06-25-2009, 06:43 AM
I'd call her mom. You just want to make sure she's allowed is all right? Hopefully her mom wouldnt read anything into that.
FairyBeautifulMama
06-25-2009, 06:52 AM
I would just call and mention it to her mom. You could just be like I was calling to see what exactly you let her put in it and how much.... You dont want her adding lots of sugar or something. And see what her mom says.
Lisa_delo
06-25-2009, 07:44 AM
Why is it such an issue?
We English people drink Tea 24/7 (my nan said it was the secret to long life lol, which is why the Japanese live so long). I was 10 when I started drinking it and most of my friends did too. lol
Lots of people give weak milky tea to babies in bottles.
I didn't know it was bad for you!
Everyone I knew lived like this.
Tea in a morning or coffee. If anyone ever shows up at your house, gas man, friend, painter, family. You invite them in, then "i'll go stick the kettle on and make a brew" Which would be tea or coffee. If anyone is sad or upset "its nothing a good brew won't fix, i'll go and make one" "wow its 11am it must be brew time"
Lots of work places actually have coffee break and tea time lol
When I was worked in a nursing home, I drank it all day long with the residents.
Its not uncommon to have 4-6 a day. My Nan wouldn't drink anything over than tea, that lady would drink about 9 a day. A lot of her generation was the same.
~Ryleigh's_Momma~
06-25-2009, 07:49 AM
I'd just make it so there is one extra cup, and let her have it. It's not like two weeks worth of coffee is going to hurt her. I am normally really picky about this stuff, but it is only for 2 weeks and she is 12, not 2. If she doesn't have it at home, it will be her special treat that she gets at aunty/uncles house, and if she does, then it will make no difference. Feel free to call her mom if you want, but judging by what you mentioned about what she drank when she was younger, I'll bet she's allowed and you might just offend her.
bluemerle
06-25-2009, 08:04 AM
It sounds like she is allowed. Otherwise, how would she know how to make coffee? I don't drink coffee, and I have no idea how to make a pot of coffee. lol!
gwyn779
06-25-2009, 08:05 AM
I actually started drinking coffee pretty regularly around that age (without sugar, too). Of course, it was just one cup a day, which is about what I do now. I don't think it's that huge of a deal. Does she get a lot of caffeine from other sources? If so, that might be something to consider, but most people don't think kids drinking caffeinated sodas is that unusual. Personally, I think coffee is better than soda since it's far more likely to have little to no sugar.
~Ryleigh's_Momma~
06-25-2009, 08:25 AM
most people don't think kids drinking caffeinated sodas is that unusual. Personally, I think coffee is better than soda since it's far more likely to have little to no sugar.
yep, exactly.
2boysmama
06-25-2009, 08:52 AM
I want that girl at my house! If she can make her own pot of coffee she is welcome to have 2 weeks at my house! I see no problem with her having coffee especially if it has milk in it. I still drink my coffee that way and I make a pot of six cups and drink it all day long mixed with milk. If I didn't I wouldn't survive the day. My son is obsessed with my "canifene" and I have already told him he can have some (the way I drink it) when he is 13. But first he has to be 8 so he can get that darn Rocket Fishing Rod he sees on TV. I don't think I'd push the issue, and like pp said if she can make it herself odds are she has it at home. Have a fun two weeks!
Liddle1
06-25-2009, 08:58 AM
if she knows how to make it chances are she's allowed. i don't agree with it but i see kids getting starbucks all the time.
tcmt81
06-25-2009, 09:02 AM
I agree with the others. If she is making it she most likely is allowed and has some at home. In that case, I guess I would allow the child to have it. But not half a pot.. I'd tell her she can have no more than 1-2 cups a day.
ralenth
06-25-2009, 09:14 AM
I'd call and ask Mom if it's allowed. I let my 7 year old sip my coffee, and occasionally order ice tea when we are out. That said, I am almost positive he's ADHD, and the caffeine tends to calm him more than anything. Juice, soda, anything with any sort of sugar makes him bounce.
nktigger99
06-25-2009, 09:32 AM
When I first glanced at the subject line I thought it said 12 MONTH old....I was like What?!?!?!....lol
Liddle1
06-25-2009, 10:10 AM
you could always make decaf too ;)
carrie04112
06-25-2009, 12:43 PM
I drank coffee regularly at that age. My mom and I always had it together in the mornings. :goodvibes: At that age I would put a little bit of milk in it, but by the time I was 15 or so I just drank it black and still do.
As long as her mom doesn't care I don't see the issue.
NessaL_07
06-25-2009, 12:55 PM
I guess I dont see what the problem is unless its just the caffenine issue. Why is the coffee so bad? I let 3 yr old dd have some tea, only caffenine she is allowed, and she doesnt get it to often or very much. Sometimes at restaurant if already had a milk or no drink thats not soda, dont allow soda. She will also share tea with me. I used to get her an organic caffeine free tea for kids but she wont drink it anymore. grr. guess it try again if i ever find it.
NessaL_07
06-25-2009, 12:58 PM
I want that girl at my house! If she can make her own pot of coffee she is welcome to have 2 weeks at my house! I see no problem with her having coffee especially if it has milk in it. I still drink my coffee that way and I make a pot of six cups and drink it all day long mixed with milk. If I didn't I wouldn't survive the day. My son is obsessed with my "canifene" and I have already told him he can have some (the way I drink it) when he is 13. But first he has to be 8 so he can get that darn Rocket Fishing Rod he sees on TV. I don't think I'd push the issue, and like pp said if she can make it herself odds are she has it at home. Have a fun two weeks!
Had to laugh at the has to turn 8 first so he can get that darn rocket fishing rod. my 3 yr old dd wants one too. dang tv. she already has a dora one.
nikkiemom2emmy
06-25-2009, 01:20 PM
I agree if she know how to make it she is probably getting it at home. I might be sneaky buy a bag of decaff and put the caffeinated in a bag hidden and pour the decaff in there so she doesn't know, that's just me though.
Tad
06-25-2009, 01:51 PM
Thank you all. After reading all these I decided to try not to care, but then her mom called. It gave me a good opportunity to casually ask how much coffee she usually drinks, and it is 1 cup occasionally, not every day. We did not discuss a strategy but now I know.
She also drinks tons of soda, but that I already knew, I disapprove, but it's considered normal where she's from.
I am trying to teach my kids what's a treat and what's food and all the cousins' habits are not helping....
luvsviola
06-25-2009, 01:54 PM
My BIL and my niece have gone to Starbucks together for years. When he was dating her mom, it became their "special" thing. But definitely not more than one cup a day!
Maybe you could get her hooked on decaf tea instead.
frenchie
06-25-2009, 08:50 PM
My 2 year old loves coffee...and I give it to her. She get's a load of cream/milk, and a little coffee.
At 12, I think it's fine...why not? Does she drink soda or tea? It's no dofferent, with the exception that coffee actually has anti-oxidants in it (as long as it's drank in the first 30 minutes of brewing.)
Gitrecca
06-26-2009, 08:12 AM
My 2 year old loves coffee...and I give it to her. She get's a load of cream/milk, and a little coffee.
At 12, I think it's fine...why not? Does she drink soda or tea? It's no dofferent, with the exception that coffee actually has anti-oxidants in it (as long as it's drank in the first 30 minutes of brewing.)
Really? I didn't know that it had to be consumed so quickly to get the antioxidants! Wow. Off to make fresh, instead of drinking warmed-over-what-my-husband-made-this-morning. :)
frenchie
06-26-2009, 08:50 AM
Really? I didn't know that it had to be consumed so quickly to get the antioxidants! Wow. Off to make fresh, instead of drinking warmed-over-what-my-husband-made-this-morning. :)
Oh yuck momma...how can you drink reheated coffee?!:giggle2: IIRC, coffee becomes carcinogenic after a certain amount of time. Old reheated coffee is NOT good for you. I have a French Press (makes the BEST coffee) so that I don't waste a whole pot of coffee (it only makes about 2-3 cups of coffee, depending on the size of your cup)...and it's not burned by sitting on the hot plate.
tcmt81
06-26-2009, 09:42 AM
Besides, old coffee is gross. I miss coffee :(
iris0110
06-26-2009, 07:29 PM
LOL I've been drinking coffee for as long as I can remember. My grandpa always made it for me (with a good bit of milk and sugar). My grandpa died when I was 5, and he had been making it for me for years before that. I don't have an issue with tea or coffee. My kids are allowed herbal teas any time they want, and I prefer they drink coffee or caffinated teas to sodas. At least I know they aren't getting high fructose corn syrup and other gross additives that way. Just plain old sugar. Both of my boys do enjoy Starbucks fraps, but that is just a treat. Tharen is gaga for jasmine tea though. He loves going to chinese restraunts so we can have hot tea, and he asks me to make it alot of days. At 12 I could make my own coffee and drank it every morning before school. I don't function in the mornings without a cup of coffee.
boy-oh-boy
06-26-2009, 07:35 PM
It sounds like she is allowed. Otherwise, how would she know how to make coffee? I don't drink coffee, and I have no idea how to make a pot of coffee. lol!
This.
At 12 I was allowed to drink coffee. I never drank it regularly and I still can't stand it black. But I was allowed to drink it.
Gitrecca
06-27-2009, 12:35 PM
Oh yuck momma...how can you drink reheated coffee?!:giggle2: IIRC, coffee becomes carcinogenic after a certain amount of time. Old reheated coffee is NOT good for you. I have a French Press (makes the BEST coffee) so that I don't waste a whole pot of coffee (it only makes about 2-3 cups of coffee, depending on the size of your cup)...and it's not burned by sitting on the hot plate.
Yeah, it's not very good, but I don't drink much so I don't ever feel like making fresh. Now I need to go do more research... Hubby would love a french press! He misses Tim Horton's an awful lot. I have fond memories of sipping black unsweetened coffee from my dad's cup growing up.
Elsaraw
06-27-2009, 04:56 PM
You could get some Teechino and make it with 3/4 that and 1/4 regular coffee.... it's yummy and healthier! I wouldn't feel bad about giving that to a 12 yo.
babygirlsmom1005
06-27-2009, 07:01 PM
I'd call and ask Mom if it's allowed. I let my 7 year old sip my coffee, and occasionally order ice tea when we are out. That said, I am almost positive he's ADHD, and the caffeine tends to calm him more than anything. Juice, soda, anything with any sort of sugar makes him bounce.
Caffeine stabalizes my DD's mood (she's 3.5). When I do make a pot of coffee (which is about 2 times a week) I put maybe 1/4 inch at the bottom of her coffee cup (which has her name on it that grandma and grandpa gave to her) and fill it the rest of the way with Chocolate Almond Milk so she has coffee with mommy, she loves it and it's a special treat for her.
She was sent home from the NICU on Cafcit (which is $500.00 for 10 day supply of liquid caffine) due to apnea and low heart rate issues, she's basically had caffine her whole life (in small minimum doses - we don't do sodas becasue of the HFCS and Sugars and when we're out I will let her get some watered down unsweetened ice tea)
Miles
06-27-2009, 07:12 PM
If she knows how to make it she is most likely allowed to do it. Now how much is she drinking? I would call her mom just to be sure she isnt allowed to only have like 1 cup or something. Its coffee I see nothing wrong with it as long she isnt drinking like a whole pot in a day.
