stephie_j24
08-26-2009, 08:27 PM
Big vent here- fair warning.
Backstory:
As most of you know, I am trying for a VBAC. I have been educating myself, using positive imagery, etc to get myself into the right state of mind for success. The main reason I need a vbac is because my recovery from my first c/s was HORRIBLE.... unbeknownst to us before the delivery, I have a healing disorder that led me to have an open incision for far longer than I should have, instead of getting a scar. DH is currently deployed and there's no way I'd be able to take care of my family while recovering from such a surgery again, and we can only assume that a second c/s would be bad like the first, since it was caused by a problem with my skin. (FYI, the uterine incision was fine- it was just the skin... but still very painful and kept me from being fully functional for several months)
Anywho... the other day, I was discussing the impending delivery with one of the other wives from DH's unit. She asked why in the world I don't just schedule a repeat c/s for the sake of knowing when baby is coming (I get that a lot, LOL). I told her the story and she said she understood. Then, she proceeded to tell me that she was sure DH's unit would send him home if something like that happened. I sort of shrugged it off- her hubby is high ranking in the unit, but not the big boss, and I figured she probably didn't know for sure and was just trying to make me feel better.
Then today, DH told me that he'd had a meeting with his command team about it. Apparently, word had spread from this other spouse to her DH, and then to the commander. They assured him that if I did have a c/s, they would send him home for 3-4 months or however long I needed him for!!!!! :whoa: Why in the world would he tell me that? So much of what I know about having a successful vbac is having your mind committed to it and being 100% confident in your ability to give birth. Now, there's a major subconscious (ok, it's a little bit conscious :blush:) part of me that WANTS to fail! GREAT! :banghead:
Now don't get me wrong, the rational part of me wants very badly to still deliver this baby vaginally, for a whole slew of reasons. And I definitely wouldn't schedule a c/s voluntarily... not only do I think that's a bad idea in general, but I'd feel like I was intentionally making DH choose between his family and his duty as a soldier and I would never do that. But just having that little piece of me that sorta wishes for that... that could be detrimental, I think. And I hate having that information!! I miss him terribly and it breaks my heart that he's missing so much of our kids' growing. 3-4 months would help...
UGH!! Sorry for the long rant... it's just really got me upset right now. I'm not going to change any of my 'plans' for the birth or anything. I guess I just needed to get this out there. DON'T LET ME GIVE IN TO AN UNNECESSARY C/S!! Be my rock, september mamas!!!
Backstory:
As most of you know, I am trying for a VBAC. I have been educating myself, using positive imagery, etc to get myself into the right state of mind for success. The main reason I need a vbac is because my recovery from my first c/s was HORRIBLE.... unbeknownst to us before the delivery, I have a healing disorder that led me to have an open incision for far longer than I should have, instead of getting a scar. DH is currently deployed and there's no way I'd be able to take care of my family while recovering from such a surgery again, and we can only assume that a second c/s would be bad like the first, since it was caused by a problem with my skin. (FYI, the uterine incision was fine- it was just the skin... but still very painful and kept me from being fully functional for several months)
Anywho... the other day, I was discussing the impending delivery with one of the other wives from DH's unit. She asked why in the world I don't just schedule a repeat c/s for the sake of knowing when baby is coming (I get that a lot, LOL). I told her the story and she said she understood. Then, she proceeded to tell me that she was sure DH's unit would send him home if something like that happened. I sort of shrugged it off- her hubby is high ranking in the unit, but not the big boss, and I figured she probably didn't know for sure and was just trying to make me feel better.
Then today, DH told me that he'd had a meeting with his command team about it. Apparently, word had spread from this other spouse to her DH, and then to the commander. They assured him that if I did have a c/s, they would send him home for 3-4 months or however long I needed him for!!!!! :whoa: Why in the world would he tell me that? So much of what I know about having a successful vbac is having your mind committed to it and being 100% confident in your ability to give birth. Now, there's a major subconscious (ok, it's a little bit conscious :blush:) part of me that WANTS to fail! GREAT! :banghead:
Now don't get me wrong, the rational part of me wants very badly to still deliver this baby vaginally, for a whole slew of reasons. And I definitely wouldn't schedule a c/s voluntarily... not only do I think that's a bad idea in general, but I'd feel like I was intentionally making DH choose between his family and his duty as a soldier and I would never do that. But just having that little piece of me that sorta wishes for that... that could be detrimental, I think. And I hate having that information!! I miss him terribly and it breaks my heart that he's missing so much of our kids' growing. 3-4 months would help...
UGH!! Sorry for the long rant... it's just really got me upset right now. I'm not going to change any of my 'plans' for the birth or anything. I guess I just needed to get this out there. DON'T LET ME GIVE IN TO AN UNNECESSARY C/S!! Be my rock, september mamas!!!
