big family moms....diff between DC#2-#3?

[ShayneLeMaster]

ok.. we are still young and have plenty of time to do this.. But I kinda look at it as if we are already do " this" ( having little babies we should just do it all at once ) it's how we wanted to do it when we have DD in 01.. but for whatever reason we never conceived.. until BOOM we had Gage in 6-06.. my husband is very happy with a boy and a girl.. I personally would have as many as we could comfortably afford.. but I just want to know.. what differences are there between 2 and 3 or more kids? easier or harder? right now we have a 5 year old and a 7m old.. just looking for any input on this topic.. I am looking forward to reading your input.. thanks

[ttrjpbc]

I have 6..........there wasn't a difference between 2 and 3 for me. My BIG change came with # 4 (I think I was coo-coo for awhile) then after that it didn't matter how many! I was already coo-coo so bring them on!!

Seriously though, I think everyone's tolerence is different, and my children were very close in age. When #4 was born, I had a 2yo, 3yo and 5yo.....so, that had a lot to do with my mental stability:lostit: lol

Then once I got used to having a bunch I learned to do things differently and things got easier again! Your two are far enough apart already that you wouldn't be in the same boat I was.....

[dirtdartwife]

I didn't see a difference between #2 and #3. All three of mine are 2-2.5yrs apart so we really didn't have any close together. They're all far enough apart that there is a decent age span but they are close enough to play together. The oldest is also a great help with the baby.

But I think once you figure out two... a third, fourth, fifth, six... whatever REEEALY doesn't make too much of a difference. By the time you have two, you're already used to having your mind split into different levels.

good luck if you TTC again!!! :)

[chelle0518]

Two to three was easy for me! I'm contemplating a fourth now, so I'm either totally :loony: or comfy with the transition! I think it depends on your kids...my oldest is an easy to deal with kind of guy. He was 22mo when #2 was born. I couldn't fathom a third when DS#2 was 22 months b/c he was nuts! :giggle: (still is) But he was 3 when #3 was born and it worked. You'll know what's right for you!

[annes_cottage]

For me there was no difference going from 2 to 3 or 3 to 4 or 4 to 5 or 5 to 6 or 6 to 7 and i dounbt I will see one when 8 gets here!!! :laugh: Yeah, call me crazy...lol...everyone else does!! But I have had a sibling group of 5 (foster children) added on to my 6 before....which made 11...I have had a daycare for the past 8 years. So I have ALWAYS had KIDS KIDS KIDS running around. It is easier for me when I have a houseful. I wasn't happy with out them....my kids are my joy. The more the merrier...literally!! They all play well and help each other. I love it!!! I know not everyone can do it, but it comes naturally for me. :goodvibes: They also do not cost that much more either after 2 or 3. So cost is not an issue.

I say go for it!!! :lostit:

[Luv2bemommy]

Well, I'm pregnant with #4 and going from 2 to 3 kids was a BREEZE!! So, easy.. LOL My hardest for me was going from 1-2 (so far lol). :thumbsup:

[pottymomma]

I am pg. with #4. I found going from 1-2 was a breeze, but 3-4 was really hard. Then again mine are very close together...only 2 years between each of ours. Also, my husband got a new job, went away for training for 3 months leaving me to sell our house, move us, and buy a new house all within 2 months of baby 3 being born. Craaa---aaaaa---zy!!! I told him that this time around he was taking time off work and I was going to kick it in bed for a week after the baby came. So there!

[1happymama]

Thanks for starting this thread mama! I'm curious about this myself as we're going to be welcoming #3 this August. This is encouraging stuff!! :thumbsup: We definitely noticed an increase from #1-#2 so it's good to hear that that was tougher for most of you than from #2-#3. :goodvibes:

[tommyzmommy]

I'm really happy to be reading this thread too as a friend just had her second baby and I'm starting to feel the newborn love again. But #2 arrived 3 weeks before we moved states and into the in-laws house while dh started a new job, househunted and 2 yo ds1 was going nuts over all the transitions. I ended up with adrenal gland failure from the stress- thank goodness for my homeopathic md to diagnose me. But I wondered if attached parenting makes it harder to go to #3, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and gentle disciplining. It seemed that all the people I knew who said going to 3 was easy let their babies "cry it out" or left their children with care providers. Are we hearing from the moms who choose to AP?

[ShayneLeMaster]

I'm really happy to be reading this thread too as a friend just had her second baby and I'm starting to feel the newborn love again. But #2 arrived 3 weeks before we moved states and into the in-laws house while dh started a new job, househunted and 2 yo ds1 was going nuts over all the transitions. I ended up with adrenal gland failure from the stress- thank goodness for my homeopathic md to diagnose me. But I wondered if attached parenting makes it harder to go to #3, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and gentle disciplining. It seemed that all the people I knew who said going to 3 was easy let their babies "cry it out" or left their children with care providers. Are we hearing from the moms who choose to AP?

ok.. that kinda touches on one of my concerns...with our first.. we did everything by "the book" lol... we didnt let her CIO.. co-slept and sometimes bed-share but we did not BF and CD though.. we were young and didnt know about CD besides prefolds and pins... but I intended to BF but didnt anticpate an emergency csection and my recovery... so I couldnt stick with it..:( we have alway done gentle dicsipline ( sp) we are just very in tune with her.. ( i didnt know what AP was until about a couple months ago didnt know it had a name lol ) We just did what we thought was right for her.. ya know? but now with our son.. who is only 7m old we co-sleep and bed share becuase of night time nursings... he is about half and half CD and disposables.. I am curently switching him to CD... no CIO.. more "ap" but my fear is.. I wont ( within my self ) have the personal strength to give my son and a new baby the same attention I gave my daughter and I think I will feel guilty about not giving them the best I can..you know? and I know if my son get's older and more self sufficent ( 3+ ) I may not feel like going back and starting over.. becuase that's what it is like with my son now.. like I am starting all over.. and that feeling makes me not want to have another.. I LOVE MY KIDS.. please dont think I dont.. But as much as I have loved being a SAHM... i cant wait to get back out into the world.. make freinds, and not just people we usually see at the park on Thursday lol. ya know? But back to the AP topic on this.. I think I can be a better parent "ap" style.. with two.. like classrooms, with too many students some are left out.. and I dont want my kids to be in that position. I was intereted in hearing if anyone had those same fears/thoughts... and no one has really elaborated on it to that extent.. but maybe now some might? lol...

[Momofboys]

I didnt have much of a problem going from 2 to 3 and am contemplating #4, but I really think it will be a much bigger transition, thus, I am wavering. My first 2 were only a year apart and basically, it was like having twins. They were 3 and 4 when my third was born and it was really easy because they play so much together and entertain themselves a ton. However, my #3 is the BIGGEST mama's boy and he is just sooo cuddly and affectionate and I know that if I had another soon, it would be really hard on him and I am not willing to do that right now. I think we are going to revisit the topic of another child when he is closer to 3...although dh says he is more than done!!

[allye]

Well ...

See my sons were born in 94,96,98 ...and my youngest son is autistic...
My oldest son was VERY jealous of his brother when he was born, and again tossed the jealous streak with his younger brother...

With all of my sons, I co-slept, I didn't breastfeed my boys though they did not take to it...

However, with this said..
I noticed things became easier when my fourth child came along. I think boys and girls are very different. My DD#1 was VERY fearless, and she did EVERYTHING early on, and I don't think my sons were prepared for that (she crawled at four months, walked at 7 months!!! was running at 10 months , crazy!) but my oldest son always showed his jealous streak (and DD was born in 2002!)
I think as well that my DS did not want me to have anymore, but he kept it to himself... my sons and my daughters have different fathers - and my sons' father remarried in 2002 and had a daughter of his own in 2003 (long don't want to go there !!!) and my oldest DS had a heck of a time with that fact that my DD was born in Dec 2002 and his other sister was born in March of 2003...he still has a hard time with it.

For me however, i've noticed that it is easier with more. To be honest, its so much fun! I mean I am completely nuts when I say this, that I don't think im done and I think in a couple of years another LO will come along, boy or girl I don't know.

I think its fun too because when they are older, they love to help out with the new LO. My dd loves to play and help out with her little sister, who's now 7 months old. She LOVES her to pieces !!! She loves her brothers too...

)Oi I ran away with this comment, oopS!

[ShayneLeMaster]

Well ...

See my sons were born in 94,96,98 ...and my youngest son is autistic...
My oldest son was VERY jealous of his brother when he was born, and again tossed the jealous streak with his younger brother...

With all of my sons, I co-slept, I didn't breastfeed my boys though they did not take to it...

However, with this said..
I noticed things became easier when my fourth child came along. I think boys and girls are very different. My DD#1 was VERY fearless, and she did EVERYTHING early on, and I don't think my sons were prepared for that (she crawled at four months, walked at 7 months!!! was running at 10 months , crazy!) but my oldest son always showed his jealous streak (and DD was born in 2002!)
I think as well that my DS did not want me to have anymore, but he kept it to himself... my sons and my daughters have different fathers - and my sons' father remarried in 2002 and had a daughter of his own in 2003 (long don't want to go there !!!) and my oldest DS had a heck of a time with that fact that my DD was born in Dec 2002 and his other sister was born in March of 2003...he still has a hard time with it.

For me however, i've noticed that it is easier with more. To be honest, its so much fun! I mean I am completely nuts when I say this, that I don't think im done and I think in a couple of years another LO will come along, boy or girl I don't know.

I think its fun too because when they are older, they love to help out with the new LO. My dd loves to play and help out with her little sister, who's now 7 months old. She LOVES her to pieces !!! She loves her brothers too...

)Oi I ran away with this comment, oopS!

I think haveing a big family would be fun as well... always somthing going on.. ... the most kids anyone in my family has is 4.. and on my husbands side it's 2 and that's us. lol.. his mom and dad are both only children and then it's only him and his sister.. who has a 7yo..


but another thing I guess I should have added in the OP.. is.. Money, you think it's "cheaper" I know with my son we havent dished out as much money.. becuase I know about consignment shops, and things like that.. with my daughter EVERYTHING was new.. lol.. but I know it will vary from person to person..

[blessed with boys]

Each new addition has been tough for me, until I get used to it....nb's are hard...

[Hitchkids]

My hardest transitions were adding number 2 and number 6. Number 5 was the easiest. We switched to a more AP style of parenting around the time number 3 came along and that actually made things easier for us. You don't have to worry so much about what to do with the baby when the others need you. You just take them with you. You are not as sleep deprived as with co-sleeping you actually have a chance to sleep. The only hard part for us is when an older one still wants to be in our bed as we are not comfy with an older child sharing a bed with a newborn. But we've managed to either have them sleep with a sibling instead, in a small bed on the floor of our bedroom or on the nights they MUST stay with us, my husband keeps them next to him on the outside of the bed so they can't get near the baby. But going from 2 to 3 was really not that hard.

[milniks7]

i agree with one of the pp.i say the more the merrier. I have 7 and never notived much differnece no matter how many...I have done home daycare and had more than just my own as well..when the house is empty I almost don't know what to do with myself! I come from a fmily of nine sibs so i am used to a crowd. DH has been bringing up the idea of one more..I am kinda on the fence so we shall see....I pretty much feel done being pg..if I could adopt that would be another story...

[TwinKristi]

I started off with 2 (twins) so it wasn't that much more to go from 2 to 3. It actually seemed EASY for me since there were 2 of us and only 1 of him. The twins were in preK when he was born so we had a blast over the summer and then they started a full day K program. It was actually a great transition for us. Going from 3 to 4 was a bit more challenging since I was totally out numbered! LOL Going from 4 to 5 was a cake walk, esp since I was a SAHM. Working would have been harder. Going from 5 to 6 should be fun :giggle:

[smbaliff]

Who knows? You could go from 2-4 like we did! Talk about a change! :giggle:

[tyles]

1 to 2 (dd was 2.5 when ds was born) was a breeze. Going from 2 to 3 was easy (dd was 8, ds was 5.5). Going from 3 to 4 (dd was 10, ds1 was 7.5, ds2 was 2) has been one big challenge and 6 months later, I'm still trying to get the hang of it. I can happily say I have reached my limit.

[ZooCrew10]

I went from 2 to 4 overnight practically (marriage DH who had custody of his kiddos)), then we added 3 more in quick order, and the DH's oldest moved in with us in 2005 making our number of kids up to 8. Comparing my single mom days of having 2 (then ages 3 and 7) it is much easier to have a bunch as they help each other out and always have a playmate. Even the younger three who are home every day play together and they are each 20 and 22 months apart (from ages 1-3 and 3-4.5 is what I am referring to). I agree with PP that once you get to this number, your mind is already gone so what the heck, add more! I get tickled when I meet a mom of a big family either IRL or online because FINALLY someone knows what it's like! It can be hard at times, but when they get older it gets easier as they can help you around the house more. The only downside I can think of is the noise level, it can get REALLY noisy in here if all ten of us are in the same general area and the kids are roughhousing as they like to do (throwing each other around, etc).

[alivals]

Two to three was easy for me! I'm contemplating a fourth now, so I'm either totally :loony: or comfy with the transition! I think it depends on your kids...my oldest is an easy to deal with kind of guy. He was 22mo when #2 was born. I couldn't fathom a third when DS#2 was 22 months b/c he was nuts! :giggle: (still is) But he was 3 when #3 was born and it worked. You'll know what's right for you!

This sounds a lot like our family...but our #2 was a wild girl :laugh: I thought going from 1-2 was way harder than 2-3. I was not prepared for how more work a 2nd would be. You just don't have any time for yourself. #1 was 22mos when dd was born and dd was 3 1/2 when #3 was born. After 2 kids you're already busy so with more you just stay busy and you're already used to having no time for yourself :lostit:

I'm not strict AP, I just go with what feels right and what works with each kid. My dd was a power sleeper, slept through the night at 6 wks...yes she was bf'd :whoa: But both my boys ended up in bed with us. Whatever gets you sleep works for me!

I would love to have a 4th but it would have to be before I get a taste of freedom :laugh:

[karmamama]

okay, now I officially have third-baby fever :giggle: I'm sure my dh does not thank you :mrgreen: