I'm so sick of my family saying that MY children will be better off in school!! My SIL came over yesterday and was talking about her son in school and how she thought he was going to have a bad report card because he never wanted to do his homework and when he did she would basically be giving him the answers so she thought he was doing really bad in math (wow that was a really long run on sentence!!). Anyway he did pretty good with B's & C's but then she starts complaining about how they have to sit in school for 6hours everyday than come home and do 2 hours of homework. I was like yep thats why we are leaning towards homeschooling. She was like thats not such a good idea as homeschoolers don't do as well as regular school children. I of course set her straight on that little fact and told her I have been researching this for 4 years now so I know most of the facts. I told her that my ods is almost reading and knows just about everything right now that they are going to go over in K and I don't want him to be bored - her response was well you can just have him moved up. Why don't I just homeschool him and let him learn at his own pace!! Why is it that people will complain and complain about the school system and the things thier children go through but will then criticize me for not wanting to put my children through that.Yes I went to public school did very well and went to college - shouldn't that mean I am educated enough to know what is best for my children? I'm just tired of defending my decision to homeschool and we technically haven't even started homeschooling yet!
02-12-2007, 06:51 AM
I doubt the comments will ever totally stop. I've had relatives sit and tell me how wonderfully behaved my kids are, how nice it is to have them around, how easy they are to talk to, how they seem to so smart, they are so well behaved that you'd never know there were 6 kids in the house. And then turn around in the next sentence and tell me that it really is time they were put in school. I don't know, doesn't make much sense to me. I know we are doing what is right for our family. I also know it is a path that is hard for everyone to understand. There are those out there who will feel as if you are judging them or saying they are doing the wrong thing because they are not homeschooling. Even if you never say something of that sort. So they feel the need to defend their decision. I guess you just have to get used to the comments and be happy with your decision. Perhaps come up with a few zingers for the rude comments or total jerks but for the most part just let it run off your back.
02-12-2007, 10:16 AM
i hate hijacking but alas that is me :giggle: can you tell me WHAT do they teach in K then?? what is their curriculum??i sure dont know thanks :D
i havent said anything to my family about me wanting to HS david either. GULP! i know what i will get. i got the wierdo statements when I CDed, pretty sure they think im :looney: when imention this.
02-12-2007, 10:30 AM
I'm with you honey. My son is nearly 3 and I DON'T want him going to public school, but alias private school is WAY too expensive. My MIL is being a major butthead about it. She's a school teacher in South Carolina. Well...bully for them! Our schools here are so overcrowded that they want to do 2 shifts for students. The neighbor's little girl (in the second grade) was so proud that she had scored 100% on her math workbook that she brought it over to show me. As I talked to her and her Mom about other things, I looked through the book...there was MAJOR mistakes in them that the teacher had counted right! Like 3+3=9?! WTH?! I showed them to her Momma. She was so angry. Unreal!
Granted, I do realize there are some good schools with good teachers out there, it's just I don't think there are any in our area.
I'm all for homeschooling. If the only reason you put your kids in school is for them to get socialization, you aren't looking hard enough for other opportunities. I get nothing but crap from my MIL about HS....hugs Momma. I'm with you.
02-13-2007, 08:05 AM
I cannot reccommend John Gattos's Dumbing Us Down enough!!!!! The school system was created to make better factory workers!!!
02-13-2007, 08:09 AM
Aw, I'm sorry you're having to put up with complaints! I know I'll be getting those in a few years, what joy! I already put up with angry relatives because I had a home birth, and because we are delaying vax.
02-18-2007, 03:59 PM
I get comments from my brother-in-law and my parents. They try to sound supportive and be like I think homeschoolings great, but I'm just worried about the socialization, you just got to make sure they have a lot of opportunities and not just church. Homeschoolings great but I think every child that has the opportunity to go to public school should. WTH??? For the socialization. Okay, my parents aren't very educated about homeschooling and frankly they aren't interested in being educated. They'll learn more by watching my children being very well "socialized"--in my way, and still smart, etc. They never say anything over the phone or emails, but when they visit they make a few comments here and there, which is like 2 times a year so I guess I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with it too often! I feel for you though. We started doing K work with my son (he's almost 4 1/2), but haven't really "officially" started.
02-18-2007, 04:16 PM
:banghead: I get these too.....they don't stop but some will convert with you and there is strenghth in numbers:giggle:
02-19-2007, 06:15 AM
I get the same thing from my family -- and we also haven't even started. In fact, my daughter is in a traditional preschool (because she asked to go) right now. They are content to gloss over the less than desireable behaviors/habits sh'es picked up there, as if being away from home for those four hours a day is somehow worth the price of her sweet personality. And my comment to the socialization comment is always the smae -- I always got in troble at school for socializing.
I've also started to remind them all that they've got a right to their opinion, just as I've (we've) got a right to parent the way we feel is best. However, they do NOT, under any circumstances, have the right to make comments in front of my kids that degrade or demean their education, or otherwise make them feel badly about their life (so no disparaging comments about shared sleeping, breastfeeding, cloth, etc).
Why is it that people will complain and complain about the school system and the things thier children go through but will then criticize me for not wanting to put my children through that.
:headscratch: yeah I've often wondered the same thing.
02-19-2007, 07:19 PM
Any time I mention an interest in homeschooling, I get looked at like...like a little kid who said they're going to be a super hero when they grow up or something equally - far out. It's been mostly from MIL as my family is far away....MIL is the only person I really talk to with any regularity.
02-20-2007, 08:01 PM
I hear you! And I've been hearing those comments for about, oh, 29 years! I was homeschooled myself, and now that I'm talking about homeschooling my boys, people *still* look at me and say the same ignorant things about socialization and the real world. Hello? Don't they realize how insulting that is to a homeschool alumnus? :banghead: Uh, thanks for saying I'm out of it and anti-social. Yeah.
I don't have any great advice. You'd think I'd have come up with some good replies by now, but I think I just gave up. People just don't get it, even sometimes after they meet homeschooled children who turned out okay! (If I may say so, I do think I turned out alright... :giggle: ) It is frustrating though.
We happen to live in an area where there are a lot of Christian schools, and probably 75% or more people in our church send their children to them instead of the public system. I would still prefer to homeschool, and it drives me *crazy* when people comment that we should really value a Christian education, and we're not supporting the Christian schools blah blah blah... What, are they saying I'm not a Christian? I would think a Christian mother teaching her children constitutes a Christian education... What do I know? I'm just a homeschooled idiot... :laugh:
Anyways, sorry, that was long and not really helpful. I just wanted to say that you're not alone! Hang in there. You know you are making the right choices for you and your children! :thumbsup:
02-21-2007, 04:53 PM
Whenever someone starts talking about homeschooling and linking it to socialization, I ask them their age. (Trust me when I say I don't have a single friend that is my age (meaning the exact age). I have one friend that is one year younger than me and the rest of my friends are all +/-5 or more years.) As soon as I get their age, I tell them mine and go "Wow... so how did we learn to socialize together? I guess being around others of varying ages and backgrounds has made us have the ability to "socialize," eh? NOT being stuck in a classroom of the same age peers... that's the blind leading the blind."
I'm also big on interrupting people when they start in with the rhetoric that homeschoolers don't do as well with the comment "You're not raising my kids, so please refrain from dismissing how we educate our children. While I understand and respect your opinion and your decision to do what you feel is right with your children, please don't assume you know what homeschooling is like or about until you've done adequate research."
My brother and his wife are both public school teachers so I get alot of flack from my mother because she thinks my brother and his wife are doing the right thing while I'm doing the wrong thing. Personally, try not to worry about it. I shrug alot of it off. I've got my reasons for doing things this way and I'm not about to explain it to ignorant people that are just talking to hear them pontificate about something they obviously know nothing of, kwim?
I am sorry mama. :hugs: I get some of the same comments as well, and really I just think it has a lot to do with ignorance about what homeschooling really is and how awful public schools can really be. I know my own mother expects me to give it maybe a year before I give up and send 'em to public school. Hopefully through your teaching your kids they will be educated at least a little bit and try to get involved, kwim? :goodvibes:
02-22-2007, 01:31 PM
I yes i get sooooooooooooo sick of the comments. Sometimes I say to my brother DS is driving me nuts today he just wont listen then he say well you should put him in school the......... HELLO as if that is going to change things kids dont always pay attention at brick and mortor school either! Sometimes kids just had hard days
02-26-2007, 09:45 AM
I used to get sick of the comments from my ILs too. I found that ignoring their comments or just sitting back and nodding helped. Apparently they felt like I was listening to them or something. I don't get comments anymore. In fact, I think in the last 18 months we have talked about it once. And it was finally a real discussion with them. Not them attacking me. I have the knowledge about what I am doing now and I know that it is working.
I know that for some people it works to say "well, we are just going to try it for THIS year."
As far as socialization goes. The meaning of the word in itself means "to come under public control". Now personally I don't want that for my girls.
I found that one of the best quotes about socialization comes from the book Ferenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
Montag (the main character) is talking to the girl across the street whos family is very different from typical families in this book (the time period of this book is in the future and the families send their kids to "school" as soon as they are born pretty much). Anyway, this girl doesn't go to school and Montag asks her about it.
"Oh, they don't miss me," she said. "I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? Social to me means talking to you about things like this." She rattled some chestnuts that had fallen off the tree in the front yard. " or talking about how strange the world is. Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's socail to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ...It's a lot of funnels and a lot of water poured down the spout and out the bottom, and them telling us it's wine when it's not. They run us so ragged by the end of the day we can't do anything but go to bed or head for a Fun Park to bully people around...
and it goes on a little, but the girl is right about socialization IMO. I have used the bolded line with my MILs on occasion.