View Full Version : please help! so confused!

05-29-2010, 09:28 PM
I have had problems with my husband in the past, but I dont know what I should do.

Heres what happened:

Me and my husband went to go cash our check because we had to pay the rent. We had a few other things to pay for as well. So we cash the check, and pay for our items. (He works at walmart, thats also where we were shopping)

Then he stops to put the money away in his wallet. Then we get in the car and go to mcdonalds. When we go to pay for what we ordered, he opens his wallet AND THE ENTIRE PAYCHECK IS GONE! I was like how the hell could that have happened? And I kept badgering him to look in different places. He gets pissed because I am nagging him. When he gets pissed in the car, he starts driving very crazy and almost (purposely) crashes us in to something. So I started yelling at him: "stop that, we have a baby in the car and I am pregnant you idiot!" so he doesnt stop, so i punch him and say stop it because our baby was scared. So eventually he stops the car and I get out and take the baby with me. He gets out of the car, grabs my arm and starts yelling at me. So someone stops their car, and gets out and lets me use their phone to call my sister. Everyone in the walmart parking lot seen what happened. Yet he still tells me that I was being abusive by nagging at him to check for all the money that we lost. He has aspegers which is a form of autism. I know that he is hard to handle, but I dont know how much more I can take. He constantly says I am emotionally abusing him because I nag at him to do **** because he wont do it on his own. Take out the trash please, can you change the babies diaper atleast once today? Things like that...If I ask him to go get milk at the store for the baby he complains and says im treating him like a slave. So needless to say, here I am at my sisters house for the past two days. Ihave talked to him, and he says that he is going to see a therapist, but that I definetly need to see one as well. He basically wont take responsibility for anyhing. I dont mind seeing a therapist, but...I just dont know. I love him. And I know our baby loves him and I dont want our children without afather...

Can anyone give me any advice please?

Im just so confused!

And now he just suggested that we just "date" and that I stay with one of my sisters. I cant help but wonder if he just wants to keep me as a puppet, so that he can pretend tobe a bachelor and not have any responisibility.

05-31-2010, 03:41 PM
I'd go see a therapist and hang out at your sisters until you both feel comfortable. I'd also let him know that you want child support as long as you aren't living with him. That way he will know that it's not time to play around, it's time to fix things.

Just some friendly advice- driving is *not* the time to have an argument even if you feel like it's an immediate need; pull over before you start "nagging".

:hugs: I'm sorry you are going through this.

06-01-2010, 09:37 AM
If he indeed has asperger's, then you will need to make some serious changes in how your approach him - especially during disagreements. They cannot process conversation the way someone without it would. You can choose how you're going to choose to speak to him-- even when you're angry.

My husband had epilepsy. After he has had a seizure, his mental state is completely altered, & in the past, I was unaware of this (as was he) so our arguments would get pretty heated and in the end he would say it was me badgering him that started it.
Over the years, I can learned to control my tongue, especially when he isn't mentally able to understand/process what I am telling him.

I would suggest you studying Asperger's more, and maybe talking with a therapist (who specializes with Asperger's) for both of you so y'all will learn to communicate better.

06-08-2010, 10:23 AM
Is there some community support that could provide counselling for you? This situation seems too complicated for you to handle on your own.
Sending strength to you. Hang in there!

06-16-2010, 10:57 AM
Just sending prayers your way!

06-17-2010, 12:04 PM
Praying for you mama. I think there is some wonderful advice in the Previous Posts. It is worth working on and worth whatever it takes to learn how to communicate with each other in a safe and healthy manner. I am thankful your sister is close and supportive and will pray that you will both find the help and advice you need to work through this.