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newmommy13 09-13-2012 10:21 AM

how do you protect your kids from molestation?
dd has a new physical therapist at school that is a man. i've never met him, have heard nothing bad about him, but it makes me a little sick to think that this is the first time in Amelia's life that she could get hurt. She's never been alone with a male before and a select few women such as her other therapists at school. They take her to and from the therapy room when they take her out of the classroom for therapy. I know logically that a woman can molest a child too, but statistics show that men are much more likely to be offenders so without even being given a chance i have assumed the worst about this person.

i've never had a talk with dd on this topic, i have never felt like it was a real possibility for her to get hurt up until now. i don't want her to be afraid of everyone or get confused about what is appropriate and inappropriate touching. i don't want her to come home from school and say that her therapist was touching her in a bad way when really it was just something she didn't want to do like uncomfortable stretches. i think this is a possibility for her, she's not manipulative but she is very naive and highly suggestible if that is a word. does that make sense?

HeatherlovesCDs 09-13-2012 10:30 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
My first thought husband is a PT and he wouldn't do that. I would feel badly if you were assuming it about him. HOWEVER, I have a past and my mind goes to the same thing very quickly. So, I'm not offended and I totally get it.

Secondly, are you sure he is alone with her? I know that is something my husband wouldn't do, even with an adult female. At the very least, he leaves the door cracked. I'd ask so you know and I'd also ask if the door is left open to the room or if it can be. Those things should help ease your mind.

And, I'd probably have a talk with your dd about appropriate touching and telling you immediately if anything feels uncomfortable. I would NOT give her any ideas about this man specifically. But, she should be aware of this regardless of this situation because it really can happen anywhere at anytime. Then, I would ask her how her therapy went everyday she has it. I wouldn't ask anything that will put ideas into her head. I'd just ask how it went and what they did, if they did anything different and maybe if it hurt (because sometimes therapy can and it goes without saying that other things can too).

I'm sorry you are worried. Even though my husband is a PT, I completely understand your fears. :hugs:

Gothmommy 09-13-2012 10:32 AM

My DS has difficulty understanding other people's motives, so I was incredibly nervous the first few times he was alone with other adults, male or female. I taught him that touching anywhere that underwear covers is something he should tell mne about.

This message won't self destruct in 30 seconds.

qsefthuko 09-13-2012 10:41 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
I would first make sure someone is in the room with the therapist. This would not only protect your daughter but also the therapist from false acusations. I make sure to tell my children what good touch is and what bad touch is. I am very specific as well so the children do not make mistakes. I also inforce the idea there is NO REASON a teacher or other adult at school should be completely alone with the children. In other words no other child or adult is present. I also make sure to let my kids know not all abuse comes from adults. If another child is behaving inappropriatly towards them it is also wrong. Ignorance on the childs part can lead to problems. Knowledge can empower the child. If they know without a doubt certain behaviour towards them is not right they can react better.

KaleidoscopeEyes 09-13-2012 10:43 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
im surprised a school would have a PT not have someone else in the room. us makes sense to protect the client and the PT

JeDeeLenae 09-13-2012 10:44 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
I would definitely suggest a 3rd party in the room. This protects everyone. Then good touch/bad touch talk.

mcpforever 09-13-2012 10:49 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
You have the good touch/bad touch talk with them. And periodically discuss it with them. We go by what underwear/swim suit covers. We also talk about keeping secrets from parents and how no one should ever ask you to keep a secret from your parents (gifts TO parents excluded)-especially if it seems like something that makes you feel uncomfortable is being asked to be kept secret.

pumkinsmommy 09-13-2012 10:51 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
It would be 100% wrong for her to be alone with him. You don't leave your children alone with strangers of any sort. The school needs to provide someone to be in the room at all times. I am surprised that the pt would even be alone with a child.

escapethevillage 09-13-2012 11:02 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
I don't know how the school is set up, or what the PT is for. But, can you suggest they leave the door open if there are no other PTs or students in the room?

wolffie 09-13-2012 11:03 AM

Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?
I'm honestly surprised by all the responses about the PT never being allowed alone with the child. I work in a school and our school personnel are often alone with students. It may be the speech therapist, the social worker, PT, OT, a teacher after school or at lunch for a detention, the custodian who is in the hall alone with the child when a lock needs to be cut off a locker b/c the student forgot his or her combination, the principal, the librarian if you child goes to check out a book and no one else is there. I think it's unrealistic to think that your child will never be alone with someone at school.

I know you said it's more likely that a male be a predator than a female but it's also more likely that someone you know personally be a predator than a school professional. The best thing you can do to help protect your child is to talk about good touch bad touch and what to do if they ever feel uncomfortable. It's also important to have the conversation often. If you are uncomfortable with your child being serviced at school maybe you could look into private services that would be provided in your home.

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