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Mama*Kim 04-30-2013 09:26 AM

Jealous two year old
My one year old nephew came to live with us a week ago. My two year old DS2 is becoming increasingly jealous and physical towards his cousin. Everything DN picks up, DS2 wants to snatch it away. If DN gets close to something, DS2 is pushing him away. Just now, DN was standing next to DS1, DS2 was across the room. DS2 notices and goes to push DN away, not 5 minutes after sitting in time out for the same thing. He tried to take DN's breakfast this morning. He takes bottles away maliciously; DS2 has no interest in the bottles, he just doesn't want DN to have them. I'm constantly a referee. "No hands. Gentle touches. Please share. Give it back." He's never, ever been mean to other kids, including DN until he moved in this week and it keeps getting worse. I understand that its jealousy, but I'm at a loss for how to deal with this. He seems to ignore everything I try. Help!

Leanbh 04-30-2013 10:30 AM

Re: Jealous two year old
I read your previous posts about this so I hope things will settle down....amazing thing you are doing for these kids.

It's perfectly normal I'd say for your DS to have some jealousy and have to share his toys all of a sudden.

All I can think of is if you see him share something then make a big deal about him sharing and being so great for doing so. Maybe try to get the other kids to act this out to try to get him to do this? like older kid share the ball, lots of praise, then ask him to share the ball....

mibarra 04-30-2013 01:01 PM

DD1 was not quite 2 when DD2 was born. Once DD2 was mobile and could move and play we had the same thing. Just keep disciplining when appropriate and validate his feelings too. "I know you like that toy, but we need to share", "You're very mad, but you can't take things from X, that's not nice." It gets better but it takes time. :)

sisu 04-30-2013 01:51 PM

Re: Jealous two year old
My two are 19 months apart, and there have been some bumps along the way with jealousy and sharing. 98% of toys/books etc. are for them to share, and that's non-negotiable, but it's helped to make sure they each have a couple things that they absolutely do not have to share. If they insist on fighting over a communal object, I take it away.

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