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greysmama 11-25-2014 07:55 PM

Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
Seriously how do you mamas do it? I have a 22 mo old toddler and now 2 week old too. I feel like I never get to tend to my nb other than diapers and nursing. I'm still nursing the toddler too and I seriously wonder if my new guy is even getting enough. And then there is the constant attention ds1 wants and I used to give him so I don't know how to adjust or change that so I can actually hold my new guy. And he's (ds1)constantly asking me to carry him and to nurse if I ever pick up the nb. So yea.... Does it get better? Or is this life? How do you do it? Is #3 easier?

Lilmamawalker 11-25-2014 08:21 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
Yeah it's pretty intense for a while! I just had my third. I just try to make sure I give my older LOs extra while the baby is napping. For me, going from 1 to 2 was harder than from 2-3. Because now my two can play together while I tend to baby.

My oldest are 25 months apart and then the other two are 28 months apart.

JayneCapri 12-07-2014 10:58 AM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
Congrats on the arrival of your new baby!

I have heard that with the newborn, its really doing what the newborn needs, and then trying to help the toddler adjust. I don't have first hand experience, but my friends who went from 1 to 2 said that they just had to remind the toddler that baby needs to nurse first, and baby needs to go to sleep, and then mama will spend all the time with you. So thats what they always did. Tell their oldest that they love them, but baby needs mommy's help because baby can't help himself, and then after 30 minutes of tending to the baby and the baby is asleep, they would focus on the toddler. I guess its kind of like reminding the toddler he/she is the big kid and empowers them a little, but then being able to shift focus to them

mykidsaremyheart 12-07-2014 12:15 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
Hugs, mama! Hang in there. My hardest was going from 1 to 2. I waited 2 weeks to be stern, and tell my older dd how it has to be. I was trying to help her transition gently, which was not working. She started being naughty, and doing things she knew she should not be doing, especially when I was busy like nursing. I finally had to put the baby down and deal with her, to let her not get away with things. Then spend time with her, when the baby's needs were met. Things were so much better after I let her know the baby needs me too.

For me each baby we brought home after that became easier and easier.

mollypeters 12-09-2014 03:28 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
it does get better. lo1 has to adjust, too. they just don't understand how to do it :) <3

kyriealaisa 12-09-2014 05:02 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
I'm in the same boat, a 27 month old and a 2 week old. My older is driving me up a wall being so needy, and being rotten on top of it. I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Lindobebe 12-09-2014 10:27 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
It gets better I have a 15 month old boy and a 6 week old daughter. Thankfully for me I had my baby at my parents house my mon is a midwife so she was able to help with my toddler till I could get my strength up to take care of them both full time, as I had some complactions with my birth and was unable to care for my toddler at first it was so hard as I had to be on bed rest and it made me feel like a bad Mom as I could not tend to my son.

But I can tell you it will get better and now six weeks in and having my toddler get the chickenpox hes thankfully almost over them now. It gets much easier as time goes by. I also am nursing them both and just have to remind my son baby comes first as she can't eat food as he can. And I try to get one to sleep before the other as there for awhile they would both be screeming to nurse them selfs to sleep. Plus putting my toddler to bed early at the first sing of being tired has helped alot too. Also give your older one a lot of hugs and love so he does not feel replaced I have found this to be so helpful.

Mermer531 01-02-2015 01:51 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
Congrats to you! I have been reading up on this because I am 20 weeks pregnant with my second and my son will be 3 when I have the baby. It is totally normal for the older child to become more needy when the baby arrives. I am sure it is maddening, but it is normal. I really like Janet Lansburry's website ( - she has a lot of good parenting advice. I would post links but I am new and the forum won't let me post links until I have 20 posts. But if you search for "new baby" on her site, you will find some good stuff.

Hang in there!!

twiggy2547 01-05-2015 11:05 AM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
I just wanted to chime in and say, it gets better! You're doing a great job, and it won't be this hard to juggle the two for long.

Mama4ta 01-19-2015 10:05 PM

Re: Newborn makes two and I'm going crazy
I agree with previous posters that going from 1 to 2 was harder for us than 2 to 3...but to be fair there are 7 years between number 2 and 3 (16 months between 1 and 2. So into be 20 months between 3 and 4. This should be interesting.

Hang in there mama, know that the kids are getting exactly what they need from you. This too shall pass.

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