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mommybird 05-26-2010 03:01 PM

please pray for my cousin's daughter
This is a long story so bare with me. My cousin got pregnant at 16. She married the father and they've been married for nearly 16 years now. They have since had 2 more children, but the first one they are very bitter toward. She's 15 and has known since she was very young that her parents don't really like her. She would get herself up at age 2, get dressed, and walk to my grandma's house next door and my grandma would give her something to eat for breakfast. We've always known that my cousin didn't care much for her daughter, but she was taken care of and was a very happy child. They lived next door to my aunt (her grandmother), my grandma, and my uncle so she was always looked after and loved by many. When she was 7 she wrote a letter to my other cousin (her uncle) who was in Korea serving an LDS mission stating that she knew her parents didn't love her, but it was ok because her other family did. I breaks my heart to think of such a sweet little girl knowing that her parents don't even like her.

Up to that point the situation wasn't too terrible because her grandma payed for her to have dance lessons and took her to movies and basically took the place her mom. When she turned 13 things started to go downhill. She never did anything right according to her parents. She was just an unruly child, they said, although she was very obedient. They decided they would not let her make their same mistakes and forbid her from talking to any boys. They shoved church down her throat. Now she is 15, she has made some mistakes, often big ones. She is anorexic/balemic and has been since she was 13 and they began trying to control her. She has had several sexual partners and has made some poor choices. I can't say that I blame her because she was being punished for them anyway, she figured she might as well do it if she was going to pay the price for it.

Fast forward to the last month and a half. Her parents discovered her promiscuity and grounded her, indefinitely. They withdrew her from her dance classes, took away her phone (grandma payed for it), took away all home phone privileges, took away internet privileges, they drop her off at school and come between classes to walk her to class so that she may not talk to anyone. They spoke with the counselor at school and she suggested counseling for her, they never took her to the appointment because it was a male psychologist and they said that she would "seduce" him. They have baracaded the doors and windows so that she may not leave. She is not allowed to speak to her grandma or anyone outside of their home unless she is supervised by at least one of her parents. Other than school she has not left the house for over a month and they withdrew her from school this last week when they discovered she was trying to speak to the counselor on her own. Her boyfriend tried to come over yesterday and they called the cops on him, when the police arrived they forced them to remove the baracades at least. Yesterday her mother became so angry with her she held her down to the floor and held a cap pistol to the side of her head and pulled the trigger, it was not loaded, but it made a very loud noise and understandably scared her. They found her personal journal and read every page. They took the pages where she spoke of the partners she has had and made copies handed them out at her school so that everyone would know she was a "tramp". I don't really know what to do for her and neither does her grandma. They have told everyone that she will continue to be grounded until she is 18 and they no longer have control over her. Her grandma wants to take custody of her, she wants to get her out but didn't even know where to start. Yesterday she spoke to her bishop and he was completely livid at their behavior. He is calling child services and reporting their behavior, as will other members of our family and some neighbors so that there is a record of many people reporting their irrational behavior. Please pray for her. Pray that she will not take her own life, as she has begun to contemplate this and that we can find help for her. We're hoping that she will be removed from the home and placed with her grandmother.

MotherMoonPads 05-26-2010 03:17 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
oh my, just reading that made me cry. :( That poor child. I hope someone is able to help her.

Prettylocks 05-26-2010 03:26 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
I will be praying for her. Poor kiddo. I can't even imagine being in her shoes. :cry:

mamaerica 05-26-2010 05:11 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
What a sick and demented situation :( Why don't her parents let her grandmother have custody?? It's a win win situation - the parents don't have to take care of her ( :( ) and the poor girl will recieve some much needed love and nuturing.

luvmybaby333 05-26-2010 05:17 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
That is just so awful. I hope she is removed and placed with her grandmother ASAP. :(

bezbabe 05-26-2010 06:02 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
this is so sad. i am lds myself and i really hope somebody is able to get through to those parents as well (unrighteous dominion much?) and that that girl can get the help she needs from people who DO love her and accept her for herself, regardless of any mistakes she might have made. sounds like the grandma is more than willing to step up to the plate so hopefully things work out ok.

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox 05-28-2010 06:11 PM

Re: please pray for my cousin's daughter
I agree with the others and pray grandma gets custody, those parents don't deserve kids!

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