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mevans 03-19-2014 03:18 PM

Jealousy
 
I figured you all would understand where I'm coming from. My husband is good support, but I don't think he understands this aspect of it.
The jealousy. After a loss, when everyone else is getting pregnant, and you just want nothing more than to be pregnant, but even more, to be pregnant with *that* baby.
I don't like feeling sad/angry/jealous, but how do you get past it? Time, I guess.

stevensmom 03-19-2014 03:27 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
:hugs:

Time does help...but it still hurts. The memory of what ifs are always there.

mevans 03-19-2014 03:44 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
Thanks.

We have two older kids (10 and 7 1/2) and a 2 1/2 year old who hasn't STTN yet, and usually cries in her sleep in bed with us, and still nurses frequently. She also has struggled with chronic constipation for almost her whole life. I want to have another baby, Lord willing, but I feel like the miscarriage happened for a reason (because we shouldn't be having more kids?) and that our youngest needs to be sleeping and popping better before we have another baby. I think that makes it even harder...to want to be pregnant so much, and feel like it's not the right thing to do. *sigh*

lugnut_9754 03-19-2014 07:09 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
Jealousy is very normal. As someone struggling to conceive #1 it's something I go through daily. The one time I've been pregnant it was chemical so it didn't even last to 4 weeks.

Mamaleah 03-19-2014 07:26 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
I am going through a bit of jealousy too. I had a mc in November, it was early but still hurts. It doesn't help that I know around 5 friends who are due within a month of when I was due. 1 of those friends and another friend, due a few months later, got pregnant their first cycle. I will find out this weekend if this cycle worked or not, I am getting very antsy! It is cycle #12, so if I am not I will be calling my Dr and getting some tests done I think.

The only thing that is really helping me is telling myself that it isn't their fault (it's nobody's fault) and that they don't deserve my sadness or jealousy. I am so happy for all of them and reminding myself of that helps. It doesn't help with knowing that I do want another little one and that I don't think there is any way I can stop trying now. I also try to play with my other 2 kiddos and keep in mind that they need my positivity.

For your 2yos issues with constipation...what have you done to try and help it? My son had some form of constipation for around 8 months...it sucked!!! He also didn't sleep through the night until a little after 2yrs but only did that for a few months and then started waking up at least once in the middle of the night. now at 3.5 he doesn't wake in the middle of the night. Anyway, to help with the constipation I pretty much cut out cheese and bananas for a little while. When he ate those 2 things it seemed to make it worse. I also bought some fiber gummies because a friend told me they worked really well. The funny thing was, I didn't have to use the gummies....right after I bought them he decided to start pooping better. It was weird, lol. Another thing I want to try is magnesium supplements or something. Magnesium is low in most everyone and it is supposed to help with your digestive system and sleeping among other things. I have not found anything in the stores for kids though, so I am just doing a better job (mostly for myself to help with headaches) at buying different types of nuts because they are a good source of magnesium.

Good luck with everything!!!

mevans 03-19-2014 07:59 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lugnut_9754 (Post 17305626)
Jealousy is very normal. As someone struggling to conceive #1 it's something I go through daily. The one time I've been pregnant it was chemical so it didn't even last to 4 weeks.

Thanks. I've been feeling really alone with this, and figured this would be a place that others may be in a similar boat.

mevans 03-19-2014 08:08 PM

Re: Jealousy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mamaleah (Post 17305659)
I am going through a bit of jealousy too. I had a mc in November, it was early but still hurts. It doesn't help that I know around 5 friends who are due within a month of when I was due. 1 of those friends and another friend, due a few months later, got pregnant their first cycle. I will find out this weekend if this cycle worked or not, I am getting very antsy! It is cycle #12, so if I am not I will be calling my Dr and getting some tests done I think.

The only thing that is really helping me is telling myself that it isn't their fault (it's nobody's fault) and that they don't deserve my sadness or jealousy. I am so happy for all of them and reminding myself of that helps. It doesn't help with knowing that I do want another little one and that I don't think there is any way I can stop trying now. I also try to play with my other 2 kiddos and keep in mind that they need my positivity.

For your 2yos issues with constipation...what have you done to try and help it? My son had some form of constipation for around 8 months...it sucked!!! He also didn't sleep through the night until a little after 2yrs but only did that for a few months and then started waking up at least once in the middle of the night. now at 3.5 he doesn't wake in the middle of the night. Anyway, to help with the constipation I pretty much cut out cheese and bananas for a little while. When he ate those 2 things it seemed to make it worse. I also bought some fiber gummies because a friend told me they worked really well. The funny thing was, I didn't have to use the gummies....right after I bought them he decided to start pooping better. It was weird, lol. Another thing I want to try is magnesium supplements or something. Magnesium is low in most everyone and it is supposed to help with your digestive system and sleeping among other things. I have not found anything in the stores for kids though, so I am just doing a better job (mostly for myself to help with headaches) at buying different types of nuts because they are a good source of magnesium.

Good luck with everything!!!

:hugs: I hope you get a BFP soon!

Luckily I don't have friends that are pregnant that I see all the time. The 2 that are kinda close and pregnant, I'm super excited for them, because of their circumstances, so they don't "count". Lol

Re: my 2 y/o's constipation, we have tried everything I know of, and she's under the care of a ped GI. Nothing helps, or at least not consistently. Even miralax doesn't help much. I'm trying to get her to drink more. They thought she might have Hirschsprung's Disease, so she had biopsies to check for that, but it was determined that she didn't have it. She had a barium enema before the biopsies. Right now we are doing a dairy free trial (plus miralax and trying to increase fluids) to see if it improves the constipation. This started as an EBF infant though, before solid food introduction even, so I'm not sure what's causing it, but there seems to be something causing it. :( It makes her a very cranky, irritable person, and she is small, and doesn't gain much weight.

Stouffers3 03-20-2014 08:20 AM

I understand completely. I'm struggling with this a lot right now. My best friend and I got pregnant within 3 weeks of each other and it was so exciting to be pregnant together. I had a d&c at 10.5 weeks for a missed miscarriage. Over the last 2 months I've had to see her go through all these amazing things, her gender scan, her growing belly, and it's so difficult. I'm beyond jealous. I know somewhere inside I'm really happy for her but it's hard to feel it. She had a miscarriage right before this pregnancy and got pregnant right away. I've now had 2 periods and nothing so far so I'm even jealous of how fast she got pregnant again. All of these feelings are really hard to deal with.

mevans 03-20-2014 08:39 AM

Re: Jealousy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stouffers3 (Post 17306328)
I understand completely. I'm struggling with this a lot right now. My best friend and I got pregnant within 3 weeks of each other and it was so exciting to be pregnant together. I had a d&c at 10.5 weeks for a missed miscarriage. Over the last 2 months I've had to see her go through all these amazing things, her gender scan, her growing belly, and it's so difficult. I'm beyond jealous. I know somewhere inside I'm really happy for her but it's hard to feel it. She had a miscarriage right before this pregnancy and got pregnant right away. I've now had 2 periods and nothing so far so I'm even jealous of how fast she got pregnant again. All of these feelings are really hard to deal with.

:hugs:


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