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Kaylazo 09-29-2013 04:27 AM

Children Before Marriage
How many of you had a child or children before marriage? Did you eventually marry the person you conceived with? Plan on it? Or did you marry someone else? Curios! TIA.


Mommy of 2girls 09-30-2013 12:21 AM

I was with my oldests dad for six years, when she was four we split. We lived together for five of those years. We did plan to get engaged but it never made it that far.

abunchoflemons 09-30-2013 03:26 AM

Re: Children Before Marriage
I had 1 before marriage. was going to marry then blamed the child that we weren't together I found out after I found out he was telling another he loved her at the same as me. so i found another but right now seems like we aren't doing much together anymore in like 5 years together.... hr would rather play video games and sleep all day....... I get to deal with whiney , screamy kids .....

waterisntsomething 09-30-2013 05:33 AM

I am cooking number two. We ate committed bit not married and on the fence about when or if we will get married. Right now the biggest reason I would want to is bc I would get to usr the pool and other amenities at the resort SO works at for free :blush: . I recently was in a friend's wedding and it solidified my feelings that I do not want a wedding. Just way to much stress and money spent (and it was a very small wedding).

carriek38 09-30-2013 05:41 AM

Re: Children Before Marriage
DP & I had been together for like 8 yrs when she started TTC. It took a while, but she got pg & was due w/ DD when we would have been together for about 10.5 yrs. We had never been invested in marriage as an institution, but the Governor at the time issued an executive order recognizing same-sex marriages performed in other states/countries where it was legal...part of that were changes to birth certificates & parental rights for married same-sex partners. So we decided to go to CT & get hitched. It made it so that I'm legally DD's "Parent 2" & we didn't have to wait the 6 mos or so it takes to finalize a 2nd parent adoption here. The choice to get married was really pragmatic; it really didn't change anything else for us.

L J 09-30-2013 05:41 AM

I didn't marry my oldest's dad. My youngest's dad, who I often refer to as my ex husband, and I never actually got married, either, but we live in a common law state and claimed our status as married for several years. Our split was less complicated than a full blown divorce, but more complicated than just a break up. I am getting married, for the first time for real, in 27 days! This one will last a lifetime; I have made the wrong decision often enough to know that this one is exactly right.

elizabeth.scalf 09-30-2013 07:28 AM

I got pregnant just a few months after meeting DH. After we found out, he proposed and we got engaged. We didn't rush marriage though, and actually conceived #2 before we got married. Eloped 4 months pregnant with #2 after being engaged for 18-ish months. Its worked out very well for us. it made it feel like we didn't get married just for the kids' sake, that we actually took our time for ourselves.

Beaners_Mom 09-30-2013 07:51 AM

I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child.
My first kid...I was engaged to her dad when we found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to get married while pregnant even though I almost caved when I was like 8 months pregnant. I'm glad I didn't!

With my current partner...we got engaged around Christmas last year and planned a June wedding. Then we found out my brother would be deployed and pushed the wedding back for a year. I had a dream that at our wedding my DD & I walked down the "aisle" to my partner and he was holding our 6 month old son. In April I found out I was pregnant with our son (due in December). So on our wedding day out son will be 6 months old...funny how it works out. Heh

sublime.mommy 09-30-2013 08:21 AM

Re: Children Before Marriage
My older sons' dad and I were together for 10 years and never married. My younger daughter's dad and I are together and both agree that we won't get married with paperwork. We don't think it's the government's place to regulate marriage. Not sure about any kind of stateless commitment ceremony or anything.

shortcake2386 09-30-2013 08:52 AM

Dh and I got married when older dd was 3 months old. We wouldn't have done it and I can't even tell you where the marriage certificate is, but found out if something happened to me my parents would get dd until dh could prove he was her father. We got married at the courthouse the next day lol. No way in heck my parents are ever raising my children. I also don't think it's the governments place to oversee marriage. We are no closer with a piece if paper, wherever it is, than we were before. We have had three living children since, one stillbirth and one miscarriage. November ?? Will be seven years married but 9.5 together. I think it's the 26 lol. We always forget until its passed. It's really just another day;)

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