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bluedaisyma 05-01-2011 08:35 PM

JuneBugs MAY chat!
GAH! our babies all turn one next month (and Joah, Khloe and Bailey turn one this month!)!!!
Kailani is 11 months today :wub:
Anywho, happy May! Hope everyone's DH is planning something nice for Mother's Day. Not sure if we will just go to my moms or what.

bluedaisyma 05-01-2011 08:47 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!

Originally Posted by tamarag (Post 12848742)
Oh Jul I am sorry K is sick. That is just miserable. I also have heard when Coop was sick that sometimes the lower the fever the worse it is. I hope it is just a virus and he gets better soon. Does he act like his neck is stiff? Will he nurse ok?

I love the chore charts that you and Elena talk about. My problem is that how I punish Paityn since she is 8 is totally different then how I would punish Anthony since he is only 3. Well then paityn gets upset thinking I am favoring him. :banghead: Some things that Piatyn does gets her an automatic time out to her room for the rest of the day but I don't think I could do that with Anthony. KWIM. She already feels like we favor him more! :cry:

Did I show you guys the 2 outfits I am debating for Coopers Smash cake photo shoot....

Or minus the diaper cover....

he isn't acting like his neck is hurting and is nursing ok. His nursing is going fine, I do have to get him to nurse sometimes, bc he just cries and doesn't want that. He wants to be walked around or whatever. He will be happy and then dissolve in tears. And he is trying to keep a brave face, like he sees his brothers and tries to smile and interact, but then he crumples. He hasn't had a fever since last night, but I held him most of the day. His coughing sounds harder, not as productive. Oh, and he is stumbling more, like not walking as well, so I wonder if his ears are bothering him.

Anyway, it is perfectly FINE to have different punishments for different kids even if they are closer in age bc diff kids have diff needs! My oldest, the way you punish him is to take away his books, lol (when he was younger). Paityn also needs to understand that he is little and will of course have different consequences. It may not seem fair, but obviously the same punishment will not work for both AND the older child does have more responsibilities...but they also get more privileges, kwim? I am harder on my 14 yr old for hitting his 12 yr old brother bc he should be setting a good example EVEN if his younger brother "asks" for it.

About the outfit- they both are cute...I have seen those felt crowns at Target for about $7? You saw Kailani's shirt, right? WackyAlpacky on here made it for him....

canadianbakers 05-01-2011 09:05 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
I just remembered about starting a new thread for May when I checked our April one. Not so on the ball, lol.

(from April's thread)

Originally Posted by tamarag (Post 12848742)
I love the chore charts that you and Elena talk about. My problem is that how I punish Paityn since she is 8 is totally different then how I would punish Anthony since he is only 3. Well then paityn gets upset thinking I am favoring him. :banghead: Some things that Piatyn does gets her an automatic time out to her room for the rest of the day but I don't think I could do that with Anthony. KWIM. She already feels like we favor him more! :cry:

Guy woke me up with an early Mothers day present...a Nook Color! I have been so busy it is just sitting on my night stand and he thinks I don't want/like it! :sadno: I love it but man this weekend was hectic!

Did I show you guys the 2 outfits I am debating for Coopers Smash cake photo shoot...

Honestly, I'd just explain to her that at 8yrs old there are more/higher expectations than for a 3yr old. There are many more things she is capable of doing and being trusted with, thus more expectations along with it. That's life and just how it is - and it is a good thing, not a bad thing! Then, if she got upset about it being "unfair", I'd just say fine and let her pout and waste her day being pissy. :hide: I'm kinda mean like that though, lol. Life isn't fair. Get over it.
If you were to use an allowance goal/reward like we do, it doesn't end up coming across as unfair, I don't think. The older the child the more allowance they start with, and they all have the potential to either get all or some of it based on the choices they make through each day/week. But they would both get something at the end of the week, kwim?

I do think it's normal for kids to feel like another sibling is more favored. I hope so anyways, because it happens a lot in our house! :) It changes from day to day, depends on what is happening with which kid, what we're needing to do for/with them, etc. But overall they all feel loved and supported even if more attention is given to one or another when needed.

What's a Nook? :headscratch:

Oh, I love both the outfits!!! I think I'm totally going to do the first pic one - I don't care much about the crown (which is kinda funny cuz the whole pic/ad is for it, lol) but I love the "1" personalized onesie and the matching babylegs!
I'm sure I could do the onesie myself, and I could either make it to match babylegs he all ready has or buy new ones if I found a print I loved. :) Now I'm all excited!
The only sad part thinking about Levi's birthday... well, other than him turning one - OMGoodness, where has a year gone?!... is knowing that it'll just be us - DH, I, and the kids - for a party. I so wish our family was close. I would love to have a big birthday bash for him. :( Ah well. That's life for now.

canadianbakers 05-01-2011 09:08 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
Jul - more :hugs: for K. :( Poor little guy. Isaac had bad ear infections for a good while (1.5-2 months, and that was after we finally noticed it) when he was around 18 months old and he got like that - very clumsy (more so than normal) while walking, stumbling and weaving. It did get to a really bad point with him and he couldn't do anything other than lay flat otherwise he would vomit. It was horrid.

MeCo7707 05-02-2011 05:39 AM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
Happy May everyone.

Tamara - I totally agree with Elena and Jul, different kids, different ages, different punishments....period. Kids are going to get their noses bent about it - because they are kids and it's hard for them to understand. But that sister has gotten 15 warnings for speeding, 1 ticket that was forgiven and all her speeding wasn't little we are talking 15-30 miles over, where as my friend has gotten 3 speeding tickets for going as little as 5 miles over. It's not fair but that's life.

Jul - Poor K! I can see how you would think his ears are bugging him :hugs:

I can't believe Henna will be 1 on the 28th....holy fall over :thud: She is climbing on everything she can even get on my dining room chairs. I'm trying to start signing with her - because she is communicating but it's all through loud noises and I don't appreciate that. Diaperless is going pretty well, but hopefully will get better once I get through this first hellish stage of this pregnancy..I'm. so. exhausted.

We are doing well with DH being deployed but did get word that it has been extended from 3 months to 6 months - oh well. He's having a great time - I've had a couple drunk phone calls :giggle: but he is also working really hard being gone 14 hours a day at work. So on his days off I don't blame him for going out on the town, I mean who wouldn't?

canadianbakers 05-02-2011 08:09 AM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
Mer - I can't believe we're coming up on one year all ready either. Just craziness. Henna is so active - it's neat to hear... in that "glad it's not me/mine" kinda way :giggle: I kwym about the loud noises, Levi tends to be very loud in all things. No surprise as the kids are all very loud. I don't like noise/loudness though and it drives me nuts to be around it all the time. :(
:hugs: I can't imagine DH being away for even just a few days, let alone months.

AFM: I need to get out sometime today and go down to the church in town to vote. :whoop:
Levi is super whiny and clingy today. "bup" all the time. :banghead:
And I need to get Ruth and Isaac to dance class tonight... but at least the end is in sight. Only 3 more weeks of classes, then a rehearsal and a recital and we're d.o.n.e for at least the summer! Still hoping Ruthie will take a break and try something new/different next year.

tamarag 05-02-2011 01:19 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
I kwym about the punishments for different ages is hard because I have this little voice in my head that tells me to punish Anthony like Paityn to show Paityn that he isn't the favorite....does that make any sense. I feel like it needs to be 100% equal when I know it shouldn't be. So what ends up happening is Paityn isn't punished enough and Anthony is punished too much! It's all my moms fault....Paityn is her favorite and so she makes me feel guilty when I punish her or complain about her...then my mom says that she is acting the way she does because Anthony torments her and because she feels like she is not loved by Guy (DH) It's such a mess. When my mom was here after I had Coop it was a NIGHTMARE! My mom told me that Guy was horribly mean to Paityn and that he was a horrible dad to her and that he loved Anthony more....blah blah blah! I know that Guy favors Anthony and I know that he is hard on her but...I just dont know. My mom and DH but heads horribly so just to be an arse Guy would purposely buy a toy for Anthony and not for Paityn. Then my mom would get ALL bent out of shape go to the store and buy Paityn 3 and then one for Anthony. So then Guy would go and buy Anthony more and nothing for P....So flipping childish on both their parts. Guy has never done anything like that and only did it because he got a rise out of my mom at Paityns exspense. Doesn;t help that Guy strongly dislikes Paityn. He loves her but doesn't like her or any little girl for that matter. He finds them whiney and dramatic. I see that but what are you gonna do. We could get Anthony a toy from a quarter machine while Paityn is at school and not get one for Paityn and she will flip out. The other way around and Anthony could care less. I don't know if it is an age thing or a boy/girl thing....those are the things that Guy can't stand!

OK enough of my novel....
Elena I too love that outfit but don't really care about the crown either...I like the tie one too though. I just worry that a party hat on his head would bug him and all the pics will be of him grabbing his head! :giggle2:
As far as 1st birthdays...I just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it's not happening!
BBl gotta get P off the bus

MeCo7707 05-02-2011 01:30 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
:hugs: Tamara you poor mama! I wanna come kick some arse for you. Your mom and I need to have a serious discussion about this favoritism. You're the mama and you are doing a kick %*& job so don't you worry!

canadianbakers 05-02-2011 02:31 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
Tamara - I can see where you're coming from. We had similar troubles when we were home visiting a couple summers ago with my mom favoring Ruthie over the boys. It was very obvious to everyone, including the boys, even Isaac started mentioning it and he was only just 3yrs old then. DH and I did decide to do extra things with the boys that we wouldn't have done otherwise, or would definitely have included DD in under normal circumstances. And she did notice things we did with the boys and would complain about it. But we pointed out to her over and over that she was getting to go to my parents house for the night every night and getting to do extra things with them, the boys weren't and were feeling sad, so they got to do extra things with us. She didn't like it, but so be it.
It wasn't an ideal solution by any means, but we felt we had to do something for the boys to make them feel special and like they were worth doing extra things for, kwim? Ideally I should have let DH pack us up and come home, but I didn't.

Anyways, my point is that I do understand that need/want to make things fair. I get it. But even for us it came to a point where we just had to say to the kids that my parents were favoring Ruthie and spoiling her and it wasn't going to end up being a good thing for her, even though it may have seemed like it at the time. This came into play a lot when we left for home and she was acting terribly - everything she had gotten away with doing/saying/acting with my parents - and we did have to be honest with her and point out that being spoiled actually is an unfair thing.

And at the end of the day, you just have to make the choice to either do it or not, based on what you feel is best, not on whether she's going to complain and whine about unfairness - she is. No matter what you do. That's how kids are.

Our kids are similar about one getting something, but I don't think it's a boy/girl thing, just a personality difference. Ruthie and Zech both hate it when someone gets something and they don't - which just makes us not want to get them things all the more. Isaac doesn't care and shows appreciation for every little thing - which makes us want to get him things all the time, lol.
I don't know. I think dealing with the whining and all that is just part of this parenting job. I just ignore it and carry on.

bluedaisyma 05-02-2011 02:37 PM

Re: JuneBugs MAY chat!
Tam, I would have a talk with mom and Guy and be like, "yeah this isn't happening in my house" and threaten to take back the stuff they buy since they are doing it out of spite/competition, not for the kiddos!
And listen, it can never be equal. even if they were the same age. Different personalities. Like if you bought her a barbie, but him a matchbox car, well barbies are more expensive than do you buy him 3-4? see? It gets nickel and dime-y and kids will learn to use that against you. I tried to spend the same amt for my kids for Easter or at least get them each 2 things. No one really noticed bc what I got for each of them, I thought about and made special for them, so it wasn't like, "oh you spent more on him" etc.

Mer, I was gonna ask how you are feeling! I didn't mean to leave her out in the May birthdays! I knew hers was before K's so idk why I flaked!

elena, bup is so cute! kailani says map or pap for up. here is his #1 shirt...
we aren't doing as big a party as i thought. his b-day is on a wed, so weekend before, us and the kids, cookout, smash cake. weekend after, his immed family and whomever of my immed that can come, cake and snacks only.
his parents want us to go here with them bc they have never been when they come: yummy amish buffet, but it is THREE hours away. And Hana is like, "3 hrs just to eat and then drive back? ell no!". His sis thought it was bc of our car so she offered to rent us one. And she is a person who does something even if you tell her NOT to (hence the reason I had 100 outfits for K that were 3-6 mo that I did nothing with :/). So Hana and I are joking that she will rent us a car, and he will say, "Thanks" and use it for work :giggle:

AFK: he seems better (well now he is crying, lol), but he has felt "sticky" this whole time he has been sick. Even with showering or bathing every day. idk, it's weird bc it's not hot here and no fever.

gotta get ready for a lax game!

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