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UneVieChic 03-04-2013 08:49 PM

Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage
We found out Friday at about 8 1/2 weeks that the baby stopped developing at 5 1/2. So now we wait to miscarry. More pink and cramping today. I feel horrible wishing my body would just get it over with. But the being "pregnant" with a non-existent baby inside is making me feel at a loss as to how to explain to people what's going on.

I'm putting away the newborn stuff for now, the nursing pads, the newborn diapers, etc and just dealing with my 15 month old. How do I get over this fear that it will just happen again. We were told we could try after a full cycle, but right now with the waiting I just feel sort of hollow and hopeless. Haven't cried, using avoidance.

Just needed to vent.

Fishie Kisses 03-04-2013 08:54 PM

Re: Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage
:hugs: I was in your shoes last fall. U/S at 9w showed measuring only 6w and blood draws showed dropping numbers.

Hang in there. We are all here for you. I can't tell you that the fear will go away because for me it hasn't, but you have a whole family here to vent to any time you need it!

homebirthmom 03-04-2013 08:57 PM

Re: Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage
i too went thru this the whole month of January. you can read my story under :

it wasnt easy but in the end I'm glad I stayed home.
to get on with it, I used angelica or dong quai is another name, the tincture and it worked really fast. I tried other herbs and nothing worked. I tried on and off for 3 weeks. the angelica worked in one day.
message me if you need support or info. so sorry about your loss :/

btw I avoided too. I think i cried maybe once cause I am trying to be strong. i know its all gunna hit one day tho

mysticmomma1879 03-04-2013 09:06 PM

:hugs: ss mama

haydn'smommy 03-05-2013 01:29 PM

Just went thru this. Found out at 5 wks that betas were dropping and i would mc. By 4 days later, i was a complete mess. No bleeding and still feeling pregnant and finding out about a friend's oops pregnancy and i felt like i was losing my mind. My MW said could be 1-2 wks and I just couldn't do that. I used black cohosh and angelica. I started bleeding the next day and I passed the tissue 3 days later. I am still spotting but i am relieved that i am no longer having symptoms of being pregnant with the knowledge that i would not have a baby in my arms in 9 months.
This was my second mc in as many months. I'm devastated but i'm not ready to give up. Although a week ago i was ready to never dtd again. I've researched and decided to give it a few months of trying to improve my health/egg quality and try again.
Just take it a day at a time. I'm so sorry for your loss.

willownz 03-05-2013 01:38 PM

I have been through it too. In Jan I went to my anatomy scan expecting to find out gender and found out my baby had passed 5 weeks earlier. He was born 2 days later.
This was my 5th miscarriage.
Right now I am done having kids. I feel empty and seeing nb babies and pregnant women makes me want to scream.
I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Kiwi mum of 4 including Benjamin born still at 19 weeks on Jan 17th 2013.

homeschoolkitty 03-05-2013 01:40 PM

Re: Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage
I am so sorry for your loss, it seems that our friends went througth that a year ago. it is so hard, so hard.
As a side note, let me tell you that the only reason that doctores ask for you wait a full cycle is for them to know the exact due date. your hormones are actually high and ripe as soon as you miscarry. Maybe it is the Lord's way to help us cope with a loss. I don't know. But you are the best at knowing your body.
Don't be afraid, keep up with the prenatal vitamines. Unless there is a medical reason not to get pregnant that you and your doctor will talk about.

Again, this is so hard, I am sorry.... many hugs


danimdel 03-05-2013 02:06 PM

Big big hugs mama. I also just went through this in September. Baby died at 6 weeks and didn't find out until almost 10 and baby miscarried at 10 1/2. It was torture waiting and feeling pregnant...very emotional. I have to say though that I am glad I waited and let it happen naturally. We were told we didn't have to wait to try and didn't but I didn't end up getting pregnant right away. I never lost the fear. I am 6w5d now and trying hard to stay positive, but its really hard not to think the worst. I have an us tomorrow and if I get good news, I hope I will relax a little more.

PoshPants 03-05-2013 08:49 PM

Re: Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage
feeling any better?

stevensmom 03-05-2013 08:51 PM

Re: Struggling As Wait For Miscarriage

I am so sorry for your loss.

When I had my first m/c I opted for a d&c just to get over it and start the grieving process. I actually think that was best for me. My second m/c was natural and horrible :( My last m/c was the worst ever :( And I still emotionally am not over it, even being pregnant again and "out of the woods" I still freak at every little thing that could go wrong.


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