Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com

Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/index.php)
-   Non Traditional Families (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=221)
-   -   Left out (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1270095)

Sageac 08-30-2011 07:44 AM

Left out
 
Yay for the single parents... but WTF???

The call was for a non-traditional families forum, and yet its entitled "single parents."

Get informed, there are many ways a family can be "non-traditional" without being a single parent Family. Anyone that has a non-traditional family, please post here so I can link to "juan" that we are being left out and would like it changed????

I was one of the avid supporters asking for the forum and have been left out in the race to please without actually reading the thread. :banghead: I'm angry and I want to be included.

Juan M 08-30-2011 07:52 AM

Re: Left out
 
The forum will stay as Single Parents as originally requested. There will not be another forum open at this time. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Sageac 08-30-2011 08:09 AM

Re: Left out
 
Did you look at the original request???? The thread is titled single parents/Non-traditional families.

AND I QUOTE "ETA: I think it's the general consensus that a non-traditional famlies forum would be the most inclusive and beneficial forum to the DS community." <---- from the "original request"

mrspnut82 08-30-2011 08:23 AM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sageac (Post 13656118)
Did you look at the original request???? The thread is titled single parents/Non-traditional families.

AND I QUOTE "ETA: I think it's the general consensus that a non-traditional famlies forum would be the most inclusive and beneficial forum to the DS community." <---- from the "original request"

Ugh ya I don't even belong in here but noticed this as well, thought that was pretty crappy.

Sageac 08-30-2011 08:31 AM

Re: Left out
 
Dear Admins, (I can't fig out how to add Juan to this, he is not being left out intentionaly)

For over a year now (some of us longer) many of the DS members have been requesting a non-traditional families forum. Today it was blatantly rejected in favor of a "single parents" forum that left many of the families out, and now I am informed that this was done intentionally. Can you please explain this decision?

I can not understand why a decision would be made to exclude members in good standing, please help me to understand?

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/...4#post13656184

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/....php?t=1032615

Thanks in advance,
Sage

3rockstars 08-30-2011 09:04 AM

Re: Left out
 
Thank you Sage. I was angry at the blatant disregard for my request for the last year and sent a link with our request thread in it by pm to all 10 mods listed in the "ask the pros" section and Lee and Juan(as was requested by a few of the mods who responded to me nearly immediately. THANKS MODS!). I recieved a pm from Lee almost immediately saying that it would most likely be up by the end of the day. No apologies for ignoring me for a year but I was pleased in my assumption that my request had been read and was being honored..........until I saw that it was entitled "Single Parents." Yeah, not really what I had asked for and what all of us had asked for actually. It's obviously not an oversight given Juan's response above. It's a blatant snub.

3rockstars 08-30-2011 09:07 AM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Juan M (Post 13656000)
The forum will stay as Single Parents as originally requested. There will not be another forum open at this time. I apologize for any inconvenience.


It was NOT originally requested as single parents. Please read my thread here for clarification.

Here is my original post for simplicity's sakes:

I'd like to formally request a single parents forum here at DS. Due to the high number of single parents here at DS, I think that this type of forum is warranted here. Being a single parent has it's own set of challenges both financially, mentally, and emotionally. Within the last few months there has been at LEAST one thread every few days pertaining to custody and visitation issues, separating from one's husband/wife, or thinking of leaving one's husband/wife. I think that it would be easier if there was a separate forum for us single parents to frequent for answers to our questions and for us to brainstorm positive solutions to the problems that plague us regarding finances, going back to school, custody issues, dating again with kids, etc. I've been hoping for this for a LONG time here at DS being single with 3 children for 2 1/2 years now and I'm really really praying that the powers that be will grant the wish.


ETA: I think it's the general consensus that a non-traditional famlies forum would be the most inclusive and beneficial forum to the DS community.
Last edited by 3rockstars; 07-25-2010 at 01:27 PM
.


You'll see that my post was edited on 7/25/2010 to revise my request for a non-traditional families forum and my title was changed to reflect that as well so this is not an oversite on your part.

Sageac 08-30-2011 09:16 AM

Re: Left out
 
Ah, I see. I only found your thread a few months ago, and by that time it was clearly a non-trad fam forum being requested. We shall see what the 3 admins/Juan have to answer. I sent that to them, as well as posting it here and on the other thread. Lets see if it gets any changes?

I am ready to be delightfully surprised by how easy it can be to get this all cleared up today.

Sageac 08-30-2011 09:20 AM

Re: Left out
 
Removed re-post from pm... i just received a response and they say they are working on it. :) hopefully it will all be resolved easily.

I see a hint of sanity!!!!

Olivias Momma 08-30-2011 09:32 AM

Re: Left out
 
I just assumed it was a single/non-traditional parenting thread, thats why I posted in the introductions thead. (considering thats what as asked for)

mrspnut82 08-30-2011 09:33 AM

Re: Left out
 
:thumbsup:

Sageac 08-30-2011 01:26 PM

Re: Left out
 
Fixed and Thanks to the mods and admins (especially Juan). lol

purna079 09-02-2011 02:11 PM

Re: Left out
 
So who is this forum for?

pcjs 09-02-2011 05:57 PM

Re: Left out
 
I like the non-traditional families as to me it means it also includes remarriages/step-families as well as single moms and other folks (like choosing to have a child/no father/mother via the various means). Most of us usually don't talk about stepfamilies as there really isn't any place for us.

Sageac 09-02-2011 06:16 PM

Re: Left out
 
This forum is for any family that considers themselves atypical. I think we had in mind step/blended families, same-gender parents, families that practice ethical non-monogamy, and any other families that may not have been included in those categories.

Is that clear? :hugs:

pcjs 09-02-2011 11:28 PM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sageac (Post 13679814)
This forum is for any family that considers themselves atypical. I think we had in mind step/blended families, same-gender parents, families that practice ethical non-monogamy, and any other families that may not have been included in those categories.

Is that clear? :hugs:

When its called non-traditional, its clear but when it was called single parents, to me that was exclusive for single parents. :) I think this is a nice idea.

pinky74 09-03-2011 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcjs
I like the non-traditional families as to me it means it also includes remarriages/step-families as well as single moms and other folks (like choosing to have a child/no father/mother via the various means). Most of us usually don't talk about stepfamilies as there really isn't any place for us.

Agree!

3rockstars 09-03-2011 07:44 AM

Re: Left out
 
pcjs, that's why we wanted and had originally asked for a "non-traditional" forum because we felt that it encompassed all families aside from the typical nuclear family(mom, dad, and child/ren). Non-Traditional families deal with lots of issues that typical families do not so we felt that a forum to share those challenges in life would be beneficial. There are SO many blended/step families on DS, tons of single parents, several same-sex parent families and several poly families that I know of personally that this forum that I can't help but think we can support each other better in a forum like this.

pcjs 09-06-2011 08:12 PM

Re: Left out
 
You did well. I wouldn't have thought to ask for one buts its nice as not everyone "gets" alternative families even thought it is probably the "norm". Its funny when people ask how many kids we have - who do you include. I say my husband has 4, I have one and my son also has a brother (full biological) above that. :)

MelissaNKris 09-16-2011 08:53 PM

Re: Left out
 
Thank you all who fought for a Non-traditional family forum to include ALL of us. We are a same gender couple expecting our first child. Though we have made purchases on DS, we were nervous about being declined if our identity as two women was revealed.

Thanks for making this a safer place to chat.

Kristina and Melissa

Sageac 09-17-2011 11:08 AM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pcjs (Post 13702809)
You did well. I wouldn't have thought to ask for one buts its nice as not everyone "gets" alternative families even thought it is probably the "norm". Its funny when people ask how many kids we have - who do you include. I say my husband has 4, I have one and my son also has a brother (full biological) above that. :)

:roflmbo: I'll bet that gets some looks... lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MelissaNKris (Post 13767724)
Thank you all who fought for a Non-traditional family forum to include ALL of us. We are a same gender couple expecting our first child. Though we have made purchases on DS, we were nervous about being declined if our identity as two women was revealed.

Thanks for making this a safer place to chat.
Kristina and Melissa

You're welcome. I am happy to have helped in making sure you felt more acceptable here. When are you due? what are you having? <--- baby envy :envy:

MelissaNKris 09-17-2011 12:39 PM

Re: Left out
 
:) We don't know what we're having yet. Still too soon to tell. We're due in May. Melissa is only 8 weeks today after a miscarriage 3 months ago. Neither one of us can wait to see who it is that will be joining us. :D

Sageac 09-17-2011 12:54 PM

Re: Left out
 
so excited... let us know what you find out as LO grows? oh! I'm so excite for you.
Is she having many issues with nausea or other symptoms? Have you picked a doula? how are you planning to give birth?.. 8 weeks, at least you have time to get ready. :)

MelissaNKris 09-17-2011 01:48 PM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sageac (Post 13770393)
so excited... let us know what you find out as LO grows? oh! I'm so excite for you.
Is she having many issues with nausea or other symptoms? Have you picked a doula? how are you planning to give birth?.. 8 weeks, at least you have time to get ready. :)

Absolutely!! We are excited beyond words!!! Yeah Melissa is nauseated pretty well 24/7 except when she's eating Pickled Banana Peppers....She says they help...and goes through a jar of them very couple of days. lol I'm all for it if it keeps her out of the bathroom. Other than that her nips hurt really really bad. I feel so bad that when i give her a hug I accidentally hurt them. I guess that's normal? :( All I can really do right now is read every pregnancy book I can get my hands on so I know how to best support her.

No doula yet. I'm not even sure where to begin with that one! lol Melissa wants a hospital water birth. She wants to have back up close by in case anything goes awry. Other specifics haven't been worked out just yet.

As far as getting ready, we started that a few months before the positive test result came back. :blush: We have pretty much everything we'll need for baby...except diapers. lol We're building a stash one dipe at a time. Because I have a disability (left sided mild paralysis) we have to be very specific about gear so that I can use it safely by myself. Ex.. All of our dipes have to be aplix so I can change them too. Thankfully we have lots of time & friends with babies so I get plenty of practice before our LO arrives.

Sageac 09-18-2011 07:12 AM

Re: Left out
 
wonderful! Tell her to try eating a slice of deli meat, or some other high-protein food if she feels nauseous. It works wonders... & I suggest getting a doula.

Here is one that's close to you: And she can help you find others if she's not the best fit/ you want to meet a few.
Krisfalusi S‎
306 Westburn Court
Seven Fields, PA 16046-8010
(724) 772-3938

A Doula helps you two interface with the hospital staff (They can be pushy/fear mongering even if they know your wishes and you have discussed and filed birth plans... ) helps walk you both through labor, takes care of you/Mama while the staff looks after the labor/birth. They can also come home and help with laundry/dishes/meals after the birth, assist with beginning nursing, help walk you through pregnancy and recovery symptoms... the list goes on and often times there are doulas in training that will give you steep discounts for the experience to help get their certification. (The rates are reasonable anyway, tho)

Ok... down off my soap box... so happy for you..

3rockstars 09-18-2011 07:18 PM

Re: Left out
 
Melissa and Kristina, don't be worried about revealing your relationship/identities here on DS. We actually have several same sex couples here that are open about their relationships and I've never heard of any having issues with fsot. One couple I know quite well on facebook as well and I've never heard them say anything like that. I'm glad you have a place here to open up and be yourselves though. It helps. :)


Oh and congratulations on the new baby!!!!!! SUCH an exciting time!

carriek38 09-19-2011 11:02 AM

Re: Left out
 
:wave: Kris. DP & I have been very open on here...I figure "Why not?"...We're out IRL & a vast majority of the CDers I know IRL are big 'ole lesbians...I have no vested interest in prettying up the truth for a bunch of people I'll likely never really meet just for the sake of their comfort & a handful of CDs.

We've never had any problem w/ FSOT b/c of it--or if there was a problem, it was handled w/ enough class that I never picked up on it. There are a few (very few, really) members who, in the course of a heated discussion have put some homophobic/prejudiced comments out there. Not cool. But, OTOH, if you sit back, watch, & read a lot, you realize that many of the folks who can at times come across as closed-minded really are caring, giving people who hold to the tenets of their faith(s). With this in mind, I have a hard time squaring myself w/ the respective faiths/churches but try to be be fully accepting of the individual, KWIM?

It looks like you're a bit outside of Pitt...there are a number of DS members from that general area who are very accepting...maybe you can connect w/ them on the regional board?

LaughingPeaMama 09-19-2011 01:20 PM

Re: Left out
 
Ok I never expected to be grossed out by reading these posts but geez...PICKLED BANANA PEPPERS????? ack...my preggy tummy is revolting!! Yea for the forum name...my sister has a HUGE blended family..regular step type family and my husband is from a weird blended family mix that confuses most people. We often have christmas with his mom/step dad, dad/step mom and my mom and yes we all get along! Good luck to all the families no matter how they get started.

Suzi 09-19-2011 06:25 PM

Re: Left out
 
Melissa and Kris
http://www.twomomsandababybump.blogspot.com/

This is my friend's blog about her and her wife's journey through getting pg. They are 22??? weeks along now. They are also in PA. Thought it might be interesting since they are fairly close to you. Their names are Hope and Hope.

So excited for both of you!

Weezy6703 09-20-2011 09:04 AM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzi (Post 13783457)
Melissa and Kris
http://www.twomomsandababybump.blogspot.com/

This is my friend's blog about her and her wife's journey through getting pg. They are 22??? weeks along now. They are also in PA. Thought it might be interesting since they are fairly close to you. Their names are Hope and Hope.

So excited for both of you!

That's kind of cool....Hope and Hope!

MelissaNKris 09-20-2011 08:47 PM

Re: Left out
 
Thank you Sage for the doula's info. We'll give her a call here soon. Thank you, thank you! lol. I really had no idea what a doula did for a couple/mama in labor. I read your post to Melissa who liked what she heard, so we'll definitely be looking into it.

Sorry to upset your tummy LaughingPeaMama!

We too are out IRL, very very out. You should see our car. We joke that it's the gayest/most feminist car in PA! lol I think my only hesitation from coming out here was an incident 10 years ago in TX. I met some new friends online who were cool with it until my GF and I held hands in front of them. At that point I was attacked. In short, not fun. I find it easier to be open/out in person than online in a situation where I end up sharing my address. KWIM? The only resistance I've come across on DS was being declined by a seamstress to sew together some diapers (I have already cut up/prepped) for me bc my relationship is not right according to her faith. I said oh well and moved on.

I am very happy though that there are safe places here to chat though. :)

Suzi, thank you for the web site. :) Melissa and I are checking it out. I keep dreaming that we'll have twins too. Have to wait for an US to see for sure.

Thank you everyone for the congrats. We are soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited! :D

DillyDay 09-21-2011 02:53 PM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MelissaNKris (Post 13790989)

Thank you everyone for the congrats. We are soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited! :D

SO VERY EXCITED FOR YOU!

Suzi 09-21-2011 06:40 PM

Re: Left out
 
Ok. After I posted about my friend's blog I thought that I hadn't heard from her in awhile. Things aren't going real well in their relationship right now so it might not be a real uplifting blog to read, sorry!

MelissaNKris 09-22-2011 01:12 PM

Re: Left out
 
Suzi,
We read your friend's blog and we're praying for them. Hope things get better and resolve for their family's sake. :)

Thank you Justina!

Sageac 09-22-2011 04:28 PM

Re: Left out
 
love the avi mel&K!!!!!!

Suzi 09-22-2011 05:36 PM

Re: Left out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MelissaNKris (Post 13801864)
Suzi,
We read your friend's blog and we're praying for them. Hope things get better and resolve for their family's sake. :) !

thank you. They are talking so that's a start

MelissaNKris 09-26-2011 09:26 PM

Re: Left out
 
I'm really happy that the Hopes are working on things slowly.

Unfortunately I come bearing bad news. Melissa miscarried today. We're both devastated and not sure what else to think. Poor Melisa thinks it's her fault. I certainly don't think so and desperately wish I could make it better. :*( TTYL Need sleep.

newwife777 09-27-2011 06:11 AM

Re: Left out
 
Oh no! Kris, I'm so sorry!!!! You're right, it's NOT her fault!!!

DillyDay 09-27-2011 07:53 PM

Re: Left out
 
oh M&K i am so sorry! *gives huge huge hugs!*

Sageac 09-28-2011 07:24 AM

Re: Left out
 
Our prayers and love are with you ladies. :( Words cannot express the sorrow. I'm lighting a candle for you.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:53 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vB.Sponsors