Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community -

Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - (
-   Parenting Talk (
-   -   Sharing vs. more toys (

elizabeth.scalf 10-05-2012 06:21 AM

Sharing vs. more toys
When you have kids close in age who play with the same toys, how do you balance the lesson of sharing with letting the kids have toys simultaneously? My 2yo and 4 yo both like building with Duplos, but we only have one 'car' piece that they fight over. I can make them share or I can buy another set and have two 'car' pieces.

We have a train track with an engine and one car, so I'm always torn - do I let one play with both train pieces and then take turns, or give each kid one train piece and then they're mad that they don't have a full train? I love to see them play cooperatively, sharing toys back and forth and communicating their desires to each other. But I also know it's important for them to have some independent play where they can exercise their own imagination.

Where's the line?

Rhianna'sMommy 10-05-2012 06:30 AM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
It's a tough line. Sometimes I make them share sometimes I just get tired of the arguing and buy another one (or 2 since I have 3 kids). I watch my kids play and just based on te circumstances what I will do..

s@hmommy 10-05-2012 06:37 AM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
If my kids both really enjoy a specific toy I try to have one for each of them. Sometimes mine will fight over something just for the sake of the other not having it. I try to balance it and decide which of the two situations apply.

HeatherlovesCDs 10-05-2012 06:44 AM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
For some things, i make them share. For others, I buy them 2. If it is something they both genuinely enjoy often, I try to have more than one. Your 4 year old *should* be able to share, but your 2 year old is still going to struggle with it. Of course, I have 2 4 year olds and 2 2 year olds. (and a 6 year old) The 4 year olds can share, but are still learning also and do fight over things. The 2 year olds don't really get sharing, but they do understand when someone else had something first.

That said, I would wait for Christmas (since it's coming up or B-days if they are coming) and I would probably buy one a car set and one a train set. I wouldn't buy the exact set. I'd buy something similar, but not exactly the same. I rarely buy 2 things exactly alike. I will if that is the only Duplo car set the sell otherwise, I find another that is similar. (BTW - My kids fight over our Duplo car too. We have 2 different ones, but 5 kids and they like to hook them together anyway.)

Even though I would buy another and give it to a specific kid for Christmas, we share almost all our toys in our house. It can be theirs for a few days after they get it, but it quickly becomes something they share. My kids know this and when one says, "It's mine" the others will say, "Yeah, but we share toys in this house." :giggle: Anyway, so buying another set of each, one for each child, would result in 2 sets of each that are shared.

Sorry, that was long.

pumkinsmommy 10-05-2012 07:00 AM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
It doesn't make sense to only have 1 of the most important pieces that they play with. I would have them share the sets but have 2 vehicles to use. The same for the trains.

Mom2Connor 10-05-2012 07:27 AM

I get that some people are minimalist's, but IMHO it's weird to have one engine and one car an call that a full train. ;) DS is two and plays with 7 or 8 cars ( most came with the set). I would buy another engine and some more cars. The duplos as well.

mcpforever 10-05-2012 09:26 AM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
If you got two of the exact same thing, they would still fight over which one they wanted to play with. It's what kids that age do!

That said, we tend to have multiples of everything with variation. For instance, we have several different train engines and cars so that everyone can play trains at the same time. Now, the kids might fight over who gets to have whom, but they take turns and trade and can still play together.

There are some things that we have that are just for a specific kid. For instance we have color coded cereal bowls. There's no fighting over which color. You get the one you were assigned.

drunkenmonkeysmommy1 10-05-2012 12:02 PM


Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy
It doesn't make sense to only have 1 of the most important pieces that they play with. I would have them share the sets but have 2 vehicles to use. The same for the trains.

Exactly. It is good for them to be able to play together and not just side by side all of the time. It is hard to do if you only have one of everything

SaraElise 10-05-2012 12:04 PM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
As others said, if it is a main piece that they both like playing with consistently, I would get 2. If it's more of one of them wants the majority of the blocks and isn't willing to give some to the sibling, I would encourage them to share.

My boys are 13 months apart, so we make sure that we have enough trains and cars or whatever they are playing with that they can both play, but one of them is not allowed to hog all of the pieces just because they want to.

elizabeth.scalf 10-05-2012 12:30 PM

Re: Sharing vs. more toys
Thanks ladies. It is tough. There are lots of things like that on our Christmas list, but I really don't want to end up with TWO of everything, like one PP said, because ltos of times the toddler just wants something just to take it from DD1, not because she actually wants to play with it. No point in having two. And like another PP said, they get their own bday/xmas gifts, and they play with them for a few days, but after the novelty has worn off it becomes communal property and they are encouraged to share. Sometimes I know DD1 gets annoyed at having to share everything, so I do try to make DD2 sit to the side and wait to take turns, giving DD1 5 minutes to play alone with the train before sharing. But it's tough because sometimes DD1 DOES want to share, and will give one train piece to DD2, but then next time DD2 expects a piece but DD1 doesn't want to share... there are just so many little toys like that. I like the sugggestions about having two 'main pieces' so they each can play and then encouraging them to share the 'filler' pieces

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:06 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.