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Sheagirl 10-09-2012 10:45 AM

Having trouble after baby #2
I am just really having a hard time after having my second baby. He is 6 months old now and I still feel overwhelmed and crazy. Some days I just want to give up (not that that is an option). I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this. I don't get out of the house much and so I don't get to talk to other moms.

AnimalHouse 10-09-2012 10:59 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
:hugs: mama. Going from one to two kids was an easy transition for me... going from two to three, though, was a whole other ballgame. It was so overwhelming and stressful, and most days, I just felt like crying. DS3 is 14 months old, and it's only been in the past couple of months that things have felt easier. I still have days where I'm stressed and at a breaking point, but part of that could be that I'm 35 weeks pregnant and stressed about having another kid on top of everything else :giggle:.

How old is your first child? Could you find some local play groups or mom groups to join? I keep myself busy with LLL, a local babywearing group, and with playdates with friends... it's so nice to get out of the house, and have other people to talk to!

abunchoflemons 10-09-2012 11:04 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
I go to libraary to for babytalk/ toddler time. I do LLL ttoo. I have met lots just going to the playground with my kids. 1 to 2 was fairly easy since older one is in school & all. 2 to 3 we'll see in feb. Hugs.

Sheagirl 10-09-2012 11:19 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
My oldest is 4 which makes it easier in some was and harder. My little one has a lot of sleep issues which is part of the reason I cannot really leave the house. He won't sleep in the ergo like his older brother. Every nap has to be exactly at the scheduled time and at home. If we have company it throws him off too. He is really sensitive. I forgot what it was like to be tied down to the house. My oldest is so independent now.

Kiliki 10-09-2012 11:21 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
Could you have postpartum depression?

I felt really awful after having my 2nd. There were a lot of other changes I had made recently in my life (we'd moved, I had reconciled my relationship with my parents, etc) and I think all of that combined with a new baby (he and DD were just 19 mos apart) just made me really depressed. I was also alone a LOT. We only had one car, and I had no friends who could or would come and pick me up to take me places. DH was in school and working full time. ... I was hanging on by a thread to my sanity...

Looking back, I wish I would have stood up and asked for help. I wish DH would have noticed how much I needed something. There were days where I would just sit and cry. I loved my kids but caring for them alone, with no where to go and no one else who seemed to care was really HARD.

:hugs: mama. Ask for help if you need help! Don't feel ashamed about it. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your midwife. Talk to your SO. Talk to your mom or your friends. You have to let people know you need some help, that you are having some trouble. Tell them what you typed here - that you feel overwhelmed and you sometimes just want to give up. It takes strength and courage to ask for help when you need it. You don't have to do this by yourself. :hugs:

danielle 10-09-2012 11:34 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
:hugs: It was hard for me and it gets better. Truly it does. My son is now 15 months and my daughter is 4. They are so loving and gentle and they seem to have their own way of communicating with each other now. It's beautiful. But it was hard for awhile. There was jealousy, and I seriously felt myself burning with anger at the things my daughter would do for attention sometimes, including but not limited to peeing on the floor. That's done now. They are partners in crime now and I couldn't be happier.

Good luck getting through this hard time mama. You can do it. But I know it's so hard.

Sheagirl 10-09-2012 11:39 AM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
Thanks ladies!

badmisterkitty 10-09-2012 03:03 PM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
Our younger daughter was sensitive to company and couldn't miss a nap either. She did grow out of it, but it was such a pain to schedule everything around her and I dreaded company because I knew we'd be "dealing" with the aftermath.

You gotta get out of the house, though. Can you take the stroller and walk the mall? Can you leave your baby with hubby for any length of time and just focus on the older child? My maternity leave just ended, but I tried to get out of the house every day and I took my older one to swimming lessons every Saturday. (My middle child didn't seem to need any special attention.)

Going from 1 to 2 kids was hard for me, too. it took my oldest DD 9 months to "adjust" to having a baby sister. Adding #3 was a breeze comparatively.

I'm an introvert, so the idea of joining a play group just makes me cringe. But if you have some friends, find time for them with or without kids, even if it's just for Mcdonalds on a Saturday.

Sheagirl 10-09-2012 03:40 PM

Re: Having trouble after baby #2
Thank you so much!

mibarra 10-09-2012 04:03 PM

My DD1 was a happy, cooperative, friendly baby who loved the world. DD2 is demanding and attached to me. She wouldn't even go to DH til she was a year old. I felt like I was losing my mind. It got better as she got more mobile. Now we're due with #3 and I'm genuinely scared of how DD2 will take it....

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