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delicatefade 04-15-2010 03:25 PM

May seem insignificant
But I'm beginning to wonder if I am experiencing post partum depression. The weird thing is that I don't have negative feelings about my baby, the birth, or really anything to do with her. But my other kids are suffering terribly due do my negativity and lack of motivation for life.

Today I totally lost my cool with my 2 year old. The smallest things set me off, and then everything is a huge deal.

The really hard part is that I don't feel like I can tell anyone, because as soon as I do, I get a lecture (from my mom) about how my hope comes from God (which I know) and that I just need to try and be more positive (trying, not working). And I don't want to say anything to my husband, because he already feels like I'm a lousy wife (at least I think he does) and if I say anything to him, I'll just be bringing him down further, and making HIM feel depressed, which totally makes me feel even worse. Sigh.... sigh.... sigh.... I just don't even know what to do.

Could you just pray for me? Pray that I could find some joy in my life again, and that I could respond to my kids without anger.

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox 04-15-2010 03:32 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
I'm sorry mama, sending prayers that things start to look up for you soon. I know what it's life to be short tempered with the kids, I too get easily frustrated. You may want to talk to your dr and ask about zoloft. Not only is is safe for you, it works well with minimal side effects. I took zoloft since my dd got dx with cancer a couple of years ago and stayed on it for about 2 years, stopped then started again. For me it helps calm me down, things don't faze me and I don't get frustrated at all. Now that I am off it again, I see I need to go back to my dr and get a new rx.
It is nothing to be ashamed ff, you need something and this will help you to talk to your dr.:hugs:

mom of crazy boys 04-15-2010 03:36 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
Prayers going your way, Stacey! I felt the same way after ds#3 was born. I think it really helped me to be able to get more sleep. Can you work out a naptime for everyone?
Easier said than done, I know. Good luck mama, you're on my prayer list!

TheLittleButtonBakery 04-15-2010 03:51 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
It sounds to me like it might possibly be PPD. I would seek out someone trustworthy in your church and speak with them. The Pastors wife maybe? This will give you someone to speak with, who will love you as a Christian and who will hold you accountable for taking care of yourself. I would also schedule a visit to the Dr. I would make the fact that you are going as private as you possibly can. Ask a friend to keep the older kids. Tell them you need some mama time and offer to do the same for them as payment for their help. No matter what it also sounds like you may need to seek some form of mediation or counseling with your DH. I would ask the person you speak with from your church for a suggestion as to a Christian counselor you can see together. You need to be able to uplift each other and if you suspect PPD its important that he know whats going on! hugs to you mama! I hope you start feeling better. Ill be praying for you!!

THBVsMama 04-15-2010 10:31 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
I will most definitely say a prayer for you, Mama :hugs:

sbarnoudse 04-16-2010 04:39 AM

Re: May seem insignificant
Prayers for you! I don't have any advice or know anything that will help you out, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

bean3 04-16-2010 04:43 AM

Re: May seem insignificant
That is a lonely downhill spiral. You CAN talk to people though...your healthcare provider. Do you have one that actually LISTENS? I had a bit of situational depression, and my friend had to actually tell me that it is NOT normal to lock myself in a room and cry for 2-3 hours at a time. Really??? I honestly did not know at the time because I just couldn't see the forest for the trees.

And that was just situational. Hormonal fluctuations cause all sorts of crazy things to happen. If you've recognized it, you need to talk about it to someone who CAN help you.

And give yourself some big hugs from us! :)

fish3737 04-16-2010 03:59 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
I agree with the sleeping. I'm exhausted right now and am having the same feelings of "never good enough".

I would also definitely go see your health care provider.

I was on Zoloft (for generalized anxiety) for most of my pregnancy, but forgot to renew my prescription at the end and haven't been on it for the last couple months. My sister called me on it the other day - and I need to put in for my refills. I've never had issues during my past pregnancies or babymoon period - but I was medicated previously! :giggle2:

It is at least something to look into.

Prayers for you mama!!!

Hope comes from God but we were also given Free Will to help ourselves. Trust your instincts. If YOU KNOW something is up with you go seek help. In the end it will be better for everyone in your family.

3chicks 04-16-2010 04:28 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
Sending some prayers and good thoughts your way!
You are not alone!!

delicatefade 04-19-2010 05:24 PM

Re: May seem insignificant
Thanks everyone :) The last few days have been MUCH better. I won't be able to see my Doctor until next month, because she's so incredibly busy. But I have Emery's 3 month check up booked for May, so if I still feel like this then, I will mention it. I know my sister talked to her about it (we have the same Doctor) after the birth of her second child, and she was given a prescription. As far as I know, she never did fill it, but just having it in her pocket helped her. She knew that at a moments notice she could go pick up some meds.

Anyway, I just really wanted to thank you all for the encouragement and the prayers. Isn't it awesome that we can pray for people we have never met!!

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