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-   -   I am losing my mind!..... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=418572)

hisleading 05-08-2008 02:58 PM

I am losing my mind!.....
 
OK...so I will admit that things are CRAZY around our house given our financial situation that we are going through, but we try so hard to not let the kids know. I try to stay positive, etc. But it seems that I am losing control!
I am so emotional. I have lashed out at the kids. Ihave yelled alot more. It seems that I have forgotten how to dicsipline!
Both of the girls are disobedient EVERYTIME was ask them to do something, they are "talking back" to us, telling us no, hitting eachother, ....I could go and on! It is chaos!
How do I reclaim my life and my kids! They are MAD all the time and so am I it seems!
I thought if I could just get some sort of scedule down they would "feel" better and therefore "act" better....we have never had one. Maybe this is where the problem stems from. Canyou help me out with one?
I am just at my wits end!

P.S. It has turned into a dangerous situation because since they ignore my "NO"'s and "STOP"'s ....the youngest DD (2) ran out in the street today admist of me yelling and running after her saying "NO" STOP"!!! It is like they are immune to it. Oh by the way, she was not hurt, but still

kthoelen 05-08-2008 05:00 PM

Re: I am losing my mind!.....
 
I am right there with you. I am always yelling at my kids and they don't listen to a thing I say. My dd has sensory processing disorder and repeats things 1000x. I am fighting post partum depression (since #1 was 8mo old and now #3 is 1yr). I feel like I am at my wits end and have no idea how to get my kids under control.

I wish I could help you out but wanted to let you know you were not alone. I will be watching this thread for any advice as I was going to post pretty close to the same thing.

:hugs:

Happygrl6 05-08-2008 05:20 PM

Re: I am losing my mind!.....
 
Behavior is tough enough to handle under good circumstances. Add personal stress to it and its so much harder! :hugs:

When my DD is having a tough time obeying, the best thing I can do for her is to make it almost impossible to disobey.

A couple days ago she ran from our yard onto the sidewalk, a big no-no. She's normally very cautious but she did it and right after I had just told her to walk & called 'red light' (she responds better to that than 'no' or 'stop'). So the last two days she had to ride in the stroller or hold onto my hand (and I hold her tightly). That way she CAN'T disobey with regards to that.

Talking back or other disrespectful talks gets one chance at a do over. I'll say something like "DD, that wasn't showing Mama respect in your words/tone. Try again." If her do over isn't any better, I'll take her up to her room until she's able to show respect. (The few times I've taken her upstairs for this, she's able to come back down and do a great do over in just a few minutes. Mostly she accomplishes it in the do-over. We also model this if I don't show respect to her or DH by saying "Oh, that wasn't respectful in my tone/words. I'll try again." and then follow up. That's been key for her.)

Normally I let her have a few different toys out at a time as long as she puts them all away. Last Friday she had a hard time putting them away when it was clean-up and didn't finish before the timer. So all weekend she could only have one toy out at a time and had to have it put away before she was allowed anything else out.

She can walk at the grocery as long as she stays by the cart. If she wonders away and doesn't listen to me, she goes back in.

Etc.

She pretty well knows that my words have true meaning because I'll quickly back them up. She's quite the strong-willed child sometimes. And she's 3.5. And, even without us discussing it, I know she picks up on things that are going on (DH will deploy in the fall). So perfectly behaved she isn't always. But she does know that when she acts up, I'll back up my words quickly. So when I tell her that if she does X, she'll get Y privilege, she is usually obedient. And that's the other trick for her...If I tell her not to do X, I get less obedience than if I say "If you do X, Y will happen."

All of that is assuming, of course, that I'm able to stay calm enough to handle things gracefully! :giggle: Some days its a matter of having a L-O-N-G quiet time in the afternoon. :mrgreen:

Not sure if any of that helps or gives you any other ideas to try.


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