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Lisa-Rachelle 08-21-2006 09:41 AM

BF in public. How do I deal?
Maybe its just something about people here in the South, but I have a problem.
This past week I took my daughter to the Pedi for a check-up. She has horrible car-ride anxiety, so she was screaming like a banchee when we got there. I pulled her out of her carseat, sat down in the waiting room and started to nurse.
People started STARING. And then, a moment or so later, the receptionist comes over and tells me "let's get you put in a room for a few minutes so you can nurse your baby rather than doing it out here in front of everyone." But it was the WAY she said it..almost like I was the oddball and was making everyone uncomfortable.
So they hid us in a cold room with NO chair to sit on. I was fuming.
And to make matters worse, the nurse comes back in and says "I didnt realize you wernt giving her formula. Make sure and tell the Doctor that" and kindof LAUGHS at me.

So, I guess I need to figure out a way to nurse more discreetly. I tried throwing Emma's blanket over us, but she likes to grab onto it when shes eating and pulls it right off.

Any suggestions of what else I could do? I hate to even bother, but Im tired of people looking at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears. It makes me feel about 2 inches tall.

And how do I get comfortable with covering up? Do I cover up first and THEN put Emma to the breast or vice versa?

Man...this is the LAST thing I thought Id be worrying about.

Sarah 08-21-2006 09:44 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
What is up with peds offices? Are they really that clueless. I don't think it's just a southern thing. With our ODD we were in Mississippi and I never had any trouble NIP and I didn't have the nursing stash I do now.Have you tried nursing shirts? I wear them all the time with Taci and no one has ever really noticed I'm nursing. Really it just looks like I'm holding her face in. Taci is also a baby who hates having anything over her head

Julesmom23girls 08-21-2006 10:00 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
Sounds like the Ped's office needs alittle update on what is good for a baby.

As for how to coverup I have heard there are blankets that have a velcro strap so that baby can't pull it off. Don't know where I saw them but maybe you can check some nursing sites or google nursing blankets. Good luck mamma, I don't get people sometimes, not like you were standing there doing a stripper dance, but then if you would have been no one would have probably thought twice about it.

rpg_mommy 08-21-2006 10:01 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
Man, I'm a REALLY nonconfrontational person, but THIS is the topic that I'd speak up on!!!

Move you back to a room? "No thanks, she's eating now and I don't want to interupt her by moving."

Didn't realize you weren't giving her formula? "Why on earth would I give my baby formula?"

If a nurse at my ped's office tried to make me feel bad for NIP there, I would have no problem reminding them that breastmilk is the superior food for babies and that if their office is not supportive of breastfeeding then I can easily find another doctor for my child who IS. Besides, when they spirit people off to a backroom to nurse, it just reinforces to everyone in the waiting room that breastfeeding is shameful. What if there was another new mom out there who was having trouble breastfeeding and was wondering whether to quit or not, and she sees the NURSE make a bf'ing mom leave the room? What kind of example does that set? Pooh on that nurse!


My son hates to have anything over his head while he's nursing too. And you know what? If people ever stared at me disapprovingly while I nursed, I'd just grin at them and say "Oh I know! It's the greatest thing, isn't it? Being able to comfort my baby anywhere and not having to worry about a bottle? Just like God intended!"

:hugs: to you mama for nursing your baby! And poo on the naysayers!

And sorry for the rant. :blush:

Raquelita 08-21-2006 10:02 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
My DS is a 'pop on and off' guy so NIP discreetly is harder for us. He also pulls down blankets. So i got a hooter hider (stoopid name) and it makes things a lot easier. and there's also something called a 'mama shawl' i think that i saw on another website.

And if the nurse came up to me like that I would have said sweetly "Oh no thank you, we're comfortable right here and i don't want to have to resettle her again."

In terms of discreetness without a blanket, I unhook my nursing cami with my shirt still down and bring DS up to my shirt before i lift it and latch him on - so it's fast and you can't really see anything b/c i use the top of my shirt to cover my bb.

Timetodance 08-21-2006 10:04 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
Ahhhhrgh! Sorry you had to deal with this mama! I would complain to your ped first. Our peds office gives you a room if you want it, but when I was a newbie I liked to see the other moms nursing so I could see people's techniques.

This is how I nursed in public: church, bus, playground, barnes and noble, you name it.

I have a couple of great baby chenille blankets from target for some reason these worked the best.

Put dd up to the side where she would nurse, throw the blanket over, and pull open the top or the blanket a little so we could have eye contact, but no one could see anything, and then open my shirt and feed. She also liked to interupt feedings to unlatch and smile at me, so the blanket was necessary.

My sister was such a discrete public nurser that she never even used a blanket, she was really good at it.

Later on dd did not like nursing under a blanket, but at that point (about a year) we were really only nursing in the morning and at night. For those times, I wore "Boob" brand nursing clothing, I love thier stuff tottaly discrete, super cute but a little pricy.

I just always acted like nothing was going on, and when people gave me looks, I always gave them my best "isn't this the sweetest thing ever" smile. That throws people off.:giggle:

betty_joanne 08-21-2006 10:15 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
It looks like you are in one of the few states that doesn't allow nursing in public

YOu should discuss what happened in the office with your babies pediatrician. Find out if that is their policy for the waiting room. If they put you in a room without a chair to nurse you really should think about finding a ped. in your area that a)promotes breastfeeding b)allows nursing in the waiting room/and or has a nursing room(not a bathroom) with a chair. What they did to you makes it sound like they are trying to get rid of their customers.
I don't have a ring sling/baby carrier so I am unable to nurse standing up.
The rest of the world has been taught that using formula is the norm. I don't understand why.

AngelMommy 08-21-2006 10:19 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
You should check the laws. I know several states have laws for breastfeeding in public, and what that nurse did would be considered illegal in Illinois, where I live.

As far as discreet nursing, I just wore kinda baggy shirts, and between my large ds and the shirt, typically nothing showed. It takes a little practice, but you will get the hang of it!! My son also would not allow anything over him. Sorry I can't help you more! I can't believe a Pedi office could be so insensitive to the fact that you're doing the best possible thing for your baby!!!

togg_mama 08-21-2006 10:24 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
definitely talk to the ped. at the very least his staff is rude.

bellsmom 08-21-2006 10:25 AM

Re: BF in public. How do I deal?
Good for you mama! I find a ring sling or pouch works nicely. It can take a little while to develop a technique that works good for you too.
Keep up with the nursing and hold your head high for not following all the other sheep. I agree with giving a big, ole', sweet smile too. People have a hard time being rude to those who are confident and nice. Oh, and find a new office. First it is breastfeeding, next thing you know you have a totally different philosophy on everything else too.

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