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-   -   Update on the Outcome -Paci at 4 yrs...help please (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1059381)

rdossmann 08-25-2010 08:27 PM

Update on the Outcome -Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
Okay, my son turns 4 at the end of the month...september. We are wanting to get rid of the pacies. Can you mamas out there please give ways that worked for you in getting rid of the pacies. Please be honest and give me the low down on what to expect. He pretty much has one in his mouth 24/7 right now. One approach we will not use is the paci fairy. My dh does not like fairies and does not want to take that approach. that is fine with me, but need other ideas.

Any help would be great! Thanks mamas!!!!!!:goodvibes:

So, a week before his birthday we kept telling him that when he turns 4 he will be a big boy and won't need his paci anymore. He wasn't so sure of that. :giggle: 2 days before his birthday we went to the mall to build a bear (with Ya-Ya and Pop Pop in tow) and picked out a bear and stuffed it...we had him snip off the tips of his paci first before putting it in the bear...then we went to lunch and had a good time. The first 4 nights was a little rough, but no screaming or crying, just he got up 3 or 4 times during the night. He had to learn a new self soothing trick. Now we have been paci free for 2 months without a problem. He mentions it every now and then but we just remind him that he is a big boy and doesn't need it. :thumbsup:

cereal527 08-25-2010 08:38 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
My kids have all been done with the paci by about 18 months, so I don't know if what worked for us will work for you since your ds is older. I started out by only allowing the paci in bed or in the car if we would be in there a long time, or around nap time. After doing that for a few weeks, I would try out naptime without it, and if that went well, we just did away with it. When our youngest ds stopped using it I wne tot put him in bed and realized his paci wasn't in there, and I didn't bother to go look for one. He didn't ask about it or cry, so that was the end of it. Three days later he was going down for his nap and said "paci?" I told him they were all gone, and he said, "ok". He hasn't even messed with the baby's paci since then which surprised me.
Some people I know have gathered up the pacis and "given" them to someone with a new baby for the baby to have, or they have found a toy their child really wanted, but told they child they had to trade in all their pacis in order to get the toy.
For your sake I would advise throwing all the pacis out when you decide to be done with them completely so you can't give in if he has a rough time with it.

rdossmann 08-25-2010 08:52 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
Thanks for the advice. I was beginning to wonder if no one had paci advice. Yes, we are going to get rid of them all at one time so we don't give in when he starts crying. He will come and wake us up at 2 in the morning if he can't find one so I know we have a long rough road a head of us...not going to be pretty.

asteiner18 08-25-2010 08:56 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
I got rid of the paci's of both my girls by 12 months, DD1 by 10 months, granted Lette just gave it to us no problem but Roo we had to take it away. Roo was really really upset when we took it away. She cried for about 3 nights but we didnt give in and that was it! I told her paci's were for babies and she was a big girl and although there were a few rough nights it really wasnt more than 3 days that she cried and never more than an hour. I didnt like it but it got the job done.

Angel89411 08-25-2010 08:57 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
I took Gabe off by 18 months. We quit cold turkey. You have to check every nook and cranny and toss 'em all. So he doesn't find one and you are not tempted. Bed time and nap time were heck the first day. It gradually got better and took about a week before pacis were a thing of the past. I don't know how it will work on a 4 yo. I would guess his memory will be much better.

eaglewife126 08-25-2010 09:00 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
a friend of mine recently had a lot of luck with cutting a little bit off the tip of the paci. that way her son could still have it, but it didn't really work as well, and it kind of discouraged him from using it as often. he was still clinging to it at naps and bedtime...so after a couple of days she cut a little bit more off, and kept doing that gradually until he just went to bed with it in his hand instead of trying to actually use it.

stephaniebrookeh5 08-25-2010 09:02 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
We gave them away to a new mommy that had a new baby. We talked about it for a few days...then wrapped them up and delivered them. The new mommy and baby were so excited! (not really, but they pretended)...makes the child feel really important. Stress the big boy thing!

Fire In The Disco 08-25-2010 09:03 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
With the help of her kids, my sister packed up toys they didn't use anymore in one box, all the pacis in another, and talked about making donations to babies who didn't have the kind of nice stuff the kids had. She bought new pacis at the store ("babies need a LOT of pacis"), and donated the toys and new pacis. She discretely disposed of the used ones. But the kids really enjoyed doing it this way, because they helped babies in need, and when they asked for a paci she reminded them that they had given them to other babies. They loved it. :)

staceyroo77 08-25-2010 09:06 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
Well, I would just say, throw them all away and let that be the end of it if you don't want him to have them anymore. Maybe ease that w/ a new gift or something. DD1 was the only one of my girls that I gave a pacifier. I threw them away shortly after she turned two yrs old. I waited til just after two yrs b/c I was pregnant w/ DD2 and had GD and didn't want to deal w/ getting rid of a pacifier, so it was just after DD2 was born that I decided to get rid of the them. DD1 was biting holes in them all the time, and when she would misplace one, she would "flip out" running around the house crying and looking for one. I was tired of dealing w/ that so I just trashed them. Surprisingly she had no issues w/ me throwing them away. She asked me where they were and I told her they were in the trash, and she said "okay".

geetabean 08-25-2010 09:09 PM

Re: Paci at 4 yrs...help please
 
My daughter was 3 1/2 when the paci went bye bye. We first made it so that paci was only allowed at sleep times, and after she got up we would put them in a box on her dresser. She got big enough that eventually she started climbing on the dresser to get them down and then would sneak them (oh yeah, she had to have 2!!) during the day while I was busy. Towards the end we were getting to the point that she would sneak the pacis and then misplace them and not know where she put them and we would have to search all over before sleep times. One day at nap time I could not find the pacis so I asked her to help me look for them and she basically refused to help me look for them. Her bad attitude and the fact that this was a daily occurrence made me mad, so I said fine! I explained to her that they were her pacis and her responsibility and if she didn't want to look for them then she wouldn't have them for sleep.....I was done hunting for them. She went down for her nap without one and didn't really sleep. That night at bed I asked her if she had found her pacis and she said no and got really upset and I just kept telling her that SHE lost them and it was just too bad. It took her longer than normal to fall asleep that night but because of the missed nap she eventually passed out. The next day she still hadn't found them, and I didn't look for them at all, so we had a repeat of the previous day at nap time and bedtime. The next day (3rd day) we sat down and had a talk about how she lost her pacis and that they were gone now but mama was going to take her to the store to pick out a paci bear that she could sleep with instead of having a paci, and I made a big deal out of how she was a big girl now. She picked a bear, we called him paci bear and she slept with him for about 3 weeks. Nap time was hard for a good month....she had to learn new ways to self soothe and fall asleep, bedtime always went better because she was so tired from not napping well. Eventually she just stopped talking about her pacis and very occasionally would tell me that she lost her pacis but she was a big girl now and didn't need them. I did eventually find both pacis and threw them out without her even knowing. I figured if we had already started the transition I wasn't going to go backwards!! I think it really helped that the pacis were her responsibility, and that she was aware that SHE lost them and that they were not TAKEN away from her. I know this wouldn't work for everyone but I honestly feel like kids transition through comfort items at their own pace. We give them pacis and bottles and want them to attach to them because it makes our lives easier at the time, and then when we feel like that time should be over we expect them to give up their love items without it being difficult. My 2 year old still has a paci and she LOVES it, and I have no desire to turn it into an issue.....I think the time to part with the paci will come naturally and we'll just know. Good luck mama! This type of situation is always hard! :)


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