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-   -   Why are some people so anti when they should be for it?? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27119)

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 07:52 AM

Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Like a big DUH here!!

The little girl I nanny just turned 2. I was all for cloth diapering her but I was not about to spend my money buying some dipes for her ~ I only have 2 that would fit her. I brought it up to her mom who was totally disgusted and wanted no part of her dd in cloth. I told her I'd launder them and send her home in a sposie, still no. So I stopped using my 2 Ihad and use sposies full time. The wipe thing also grossed her out and since I am not washing anyone elses poo wipes I use sposie wipes for her.

Anyway, she ran out of wipes last week and had a horrible case of the runs. I told her mom I needed more and what did she bring? Those hand wipes you keep in your car. Like the cheap round container that pop through the top. To top it off they are off brand. she said she was flat broke so ~ fine, whatever. So poo just goes through them and it specifically says for hands ~ smells horrid and full of chemicals. I was using my cloth wipes for pee diapers and those for poo followed by a wet cloth wipe. So Friday I mentioned she would need diapers. Monday arrives, no dipes ~ I remind her agian. Today she hands me a stack of diapers and says "I'm broke, you need to make these last all week". They are some off brand that hold NOTHING. So, I am limited to max. 3 diapers in a 10 hour day until Friday (hoping she remembers some on Monday).

So, if she is so broke and can't afford diapers and wipes why not use cloth?? I am willing and able. I will even shop for her and find some deals. Why be so anti cloth when you are sticking your child in the worst of the worst? Ahhh, it's so fustrating. So here is this child in a wet cheap sposie and all I can think is I only have 2 more for the day (1 before nap and 1 after ~ I already changed her this morning), I feel so bad.

Okay, there's my vent!

CheaperByTheDozen 08-01-2006 07:55 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Awwwwww... that poor baby! Maybe you could mention it again????

Namaste 08-01-2006 07:56 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Makes me scratch my head as well.

RachelFlores 08-01-2006 08:03 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Man, that is AWFUL. I don't know if you are liscensed by your state or are planning on becomming liscensed but if you want it to stop, here is an idea that may work. Print off the liscensing requirements for at home daycare in your state, highlight the applicable sections, give it to the mom and tell her that you are working towards state liscensing and you HAVE TO comply with those rules. EVERY state has rules on how often you have to change a diaper in a daycare situation and I guarentee that it is NOT 3 diapers in a 10 hour period. I know in Texas, for infants it is every 2 hours or every poopy diaper whichever comes first. Once you let her know how often she HAS to be changed BY LAW, you can mention cloth again and maybe she will be more interested in listening. Just an idea. Sorry for your bad morning.:hugs:

Watercolor Ponies 08-01-2006 08:03 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
My suspicion is that if she has very little money, she doesn't want to have to buy the Cds. To many people it seems like a lot of money. Which it can be, but only once, which is what I have to stress each time I talk to someone about why we CD. As for the "eew that is gross" comments from people, using cloth and washing pooped in diapers in your washer can seem gross. Tbh, I cringe whenever I have to rinse a poopy one!:laugh: But I do it bcs I enjoy the other benefits from CDing, kwim? And I get the feeling that a lot of moms feel as if I am somehow looking down on them if the use sposies (which I don't, to each his own) so maybe she feels like your suggestions is implying that she is making a bad choice for her child by using sposies? Which I am sure you aren't but being a working mama must get her lots of juding looks so maybe she is just feeling like it is one more stick in the fire to be asked to switch to cds? I dunno, just trying many guesses here! But :hugs: to you for being concerned, it sounds as if she def. needs to get you some more diapers whichever kind she chooses!!

lararum 08-01-2006 08:16 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
That is crazy! I've been broke and we used sposies for a long time, but I would make sure dd had dipes and wipes before I bought anything for me. We never ran out, and I always bought Pampers or Huggies.
I hope you get that resolved.

flowerpotg 08-01-2006 08:19 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Some people just don't know any better. You've done your part in planting the seed.

Maybe when she see's her baby with a horrid diaper rash on just 3 sposies a day she'll begin to see the light.

hauser 08-01-2006 08:20 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Hmm this raises so many questions, the fact that the child is with you 10 hours even!! SOme people have to work but WOW is that normal for daycare situations!! Not that you could afford this, but I would stop watching her!! NOt that it solves the issue, but that it really not sanitary to leave her in those dipes that long!! I wonder if she even gets changed at home? Maybe you can find a way to approach her with out offending her. I am sure she would qualify for miracle diapers or something?? I am sure free could be attractive to her if she is so broke!!

THat is so sad, it reminds me of a story my cousin told me. THis baby at her daycare came back to daycare every morning in the dipe he left in the day before!! He was convinced of this, and started marking them where the parents could not see. Sure enough the mark was there the next day!! She started taking pics etc and reported them!! Okay enough about the rant that just saddens me!!!

LuAnn 08-01-2006 08:21 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I would still print up some sort of contract, even if not licensed parents need to abide by rules....stating that a child MUST HAVE enoguh diapers to be changed every 2hrs when in your care if needed plus a couple extras for the day, just incase. You can make up your own contract, I have a contract saved of mine because when I lived in GA I had a licensed home daycare lmk if you want me to help...good luck

Oh a question, you were willing to use cloth diapers but not cloth wipes?? they still poop in the diapers so whats the difference? (not trying to be snotty just wondering)
LuAnn

ETA: yes 10 hrs is usually normal for daycare...You work 8-9 hrs aday and depending where you work and traffic is the other 1-2hrs.

hauser 08-01-2006 08:24 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LuAnn
ETA: yes 10 hrs is usually normal for daycare...You work 8-9 hrs aday and depending where you work and traffic is the other 1-2hrs.

Ohh I guess that makes sense, my kids have just never spent a minute in a daycare so 10 hours seems like an eternity to me:giggle:

LuAnn 08-01-2006 08:27 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stephaniehauser
Ohh I guess that makes sense, my kids have just never spent a minute in a daycare so 10 hours seems like an eternity to me:giggle:

I worked in a daycare than had a licensed home daycare, ds has NEVER been in daycare either:) well accept my cousins home daycare when my mom was really really bad in the hospital.....

Sorry to hijack your post mama:)
LuAnn

Shaineinok 08-01-2006 08:37 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Thats just awful. No advice. Poor child. :(

aimeemarie 08-01-2006 08:40 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I've actually heard of some Moms who leave babies in sposies for 4 hours...I'm sure it would hold but ick!

vick 08-01-2006 08:41 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Could you raise your price by say $10 a week and say you'll provide dipes and wipes - and just leave out that they'll be cloth?

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 08:42 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LuAnn
Oh a question, you were willing to use cloth diapers but not cloth wipes?? they still poop in the diapers so whats the difference? (not trying to be snotty just wondering)
LuAnn


No I was using both at first. Just using the 2 diapers I had in her size and sposies the rest of the time. I was always using cloth wipes. Then she told me she did not want her dd in cloth at all. So I used sposies only and still the wipes. Well, J only poops once a day (unless she has a bug) so those poopy wipes were sitting with nothing else to wash them with. I figured *whatever* and use the sposie wipes for poo and cloth for pee since those don't get their own wash cycle.

Normally she is fine with diapers, just recently it's been like this. Just a hard time I guess. I just figured that if you were having such a hard time the thought of a reuseable diaper would be music to your ears. I change every 2 1/2 hours (unless there is a poo) as she is a light pee'r. It's just this week that I am on "restriction", I understand being broke ~ just don't understand being so anti cloth (just trying to save her some $$).

As for the time 10 hours is norm. She has a long drive so that is part of it. I love watching J, she is a great child and she is taken care of (both here and home). Her older sis is here as well so I would know if any funny business was going on. BTW her older sis said "when I get big I am using cloth diapers, they are so soft" and J plays with cloth diapers on the baby dolls all the time.

Speaking of which, she is right next to me doing that now. We are going through the baby stash!!

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 08:42 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by vick
Could you raise your price by say $10 a week and say you'll provide dipes and wipes - and just leave out that they'll be cloth?

Great idea!!

Mel 08-01-2006 08:43 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Regardless of whether she goes to cloth (it isn't for everyone) the 3 diapers a day is ridiculous. Now, if she gets a bad rash, the mom is going to hold you responsible. And honestly I think you would be. I would flat out refuse to watch this kid until ample diapers are provided. I mean, if the girl gets a rash so bad the mom takes her to the ER...who's she going to think is responsible for that bill. Technically, you are in charge of making sure she's changed and healthy. Sorry but I'd really be watching out for myself if I were you.

snugglebutter 08-01-2006 08:44 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
If she is that broke, you would think she would be ok with at least using cloth at your house. (especially if you are offering to wash!)

betty_joanne 08-01-2006 08:50 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
If i were in her situation and flat broke without any money for dipes i would be running around the house trying to see what(dishtowels, hand towels, blankets, etc) i could pin on my baby's butt so she wasn't wet all day.
Do you have any microfleece liners that you can put in the sposies to help her feel dry?? What about wet paper towels for wipes?? Can baby go diaperless(during non-bm times :) )??
Does she qualify for wic? I don't even know if wic covers diapers.
:hugs:

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 08:51 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I pulled my 2 larges back out and will use them as well as the sposies so I have 5 a day now. Right now I have her in panties airing out. I am going to plant another seed and see where it goes. I am not going to insist nor am I going to stop watching her. I will let her air out or give her panty time along with my 2 cloth and her sposies. This is not a "normal" occurance so I am not going to overreact. Now if she shows up next week doing the same thing (which I doubt) I will say something and be stern.

8blessings 08-01-2006 08:58 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Mama, you need to take the above advice. You could be blamed for mis-treatment to the baby if she gets a rash or whatever. You need to do the contract thing, and raise your price enuf to cover diapering expenses. I would get advice from a prof. daycare worker as well. A "REAL" B&M daycare would not tolerate that behavior, so why should you?
Also- if she is so broke, how is she going to pay you for your services????? I would be worried about NOT getting paid. Maybe ask for pmt.s in advance, thats what I did when I used to have an in home daycare. I also charged "late pick up fees". *some* Parents like to take advantage of nice people like you.......

masonite 08-01-2006 09:16 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
:headscratch:

I definitely know that cloth isn't for everyone!! It just seems funny since she wouldn't even have to deal with it, and it'd save her lots of money.

Maybe we should see if we can snag some FFS large diapers to help out. Then maybe the mama would be okay with it? Then she'd save money, and her baby wouldn't have to be in sposies while at your house? I don't know, just thinking "out loud".

Has she (the mama) seen cloth? Maybe if she saw how great it was, she might be okay with it. Or, maybe since she's so skint on cash right now, she is automatically thinking "Great, more money to spend!"

Good Luck Mama! I'll keep my eye out for some large diapers FFS or anything like that. If I had some, I'd help you, but my DS is barely into mediums (from smalls) and probably will be until PLing, so I have no larges!!

:)

betty_joanne 08-01-2006 09:16 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Wait a minute you said she just turned 2. Is there any way that she could go on the potty once or twice during the day or is that way too young? Sorry, no potty training experience here.

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 09:20 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by betty_joanne
Wait a minute you said she just turned 2. Is there any way that she could go on the potty once or twice during the day or is that way too young? Sorry, no potty training experience here.

Yesterday and today I got her to go poop on the potty. With her "runs" last week I figured working on the poop part might be in her best interest. The second her poop hits skin it turns red. I watch her like a hawk so I can change her immediatly. I finally figured out that she goes at 9:30am so yesterday and today I put her on the potty and it has worked great!! Pee on the other hand, no clue and she is very quiet so she won't tell me.

I am going to go ahead and watch the FFS for larges. Thankfully she is not overly chunky nor does she have those yummy theighs so I think she'd be easy to fit. If anyone has some FFS or CHEAP Larges pm me!!

viiolet 08-01-2006 09:22 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
At age 2 it might be a novelty to introduce the toilet this week :) I mean she's old enough to start learning especially if you introduce it to her in a fun way. And it would stretch the diapers further for you because she would hopefully be going potty in the toilet/potty chair some.

GrowingUpMad 08-01-2006 09:26 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stephaniehauser
Ohh I guess that makes sense, my kids have just never spent a minute in a daycare so 10 hours seems like an eternity to me:giggle:

Want to hear something sad?

I am with her 10 hours a day M-F and an occasional 8 hour Saturday. She is more into me than Madison so we are always together. She calls me "mama", that would kill me if my chilkd ever did that. I tell her I am Miss Dawn but she won't say it. She calls my ds, dd, and the dog by their names but I am mama and dh is dad (he spends time with her each morning because her and I are the only ones awake when he is getting ready for work).

kellypillar 08-01-2006 09:31 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Man, that is really tough. Three dipes for ten hours makes my stomach turn. Nothing more to add to the great advice above, just hoping it improves, and that this is just a tough week for her rather than a pattern.

WIC does not cover diapers, just food.

:hugs:

lisahas2cats 08-01-2006 09:32 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by madalexsmom
I am going to go ahead and watch the FFS for larges. Thankfully she is not overly chunky nor does she have those yummy theighs so I think she'd be easy to fit. If anyone has some FFS or CHEAP Larges pm me!!

How much does she weigh? I have some sherpa/velour dipes I made that are WAY too big for my DD, and some other diapers as well, that I'd be happy to sell very cheap.....PM me her info (weight, anything else that's importatnt to know) and your email addy if you'd like to see pics :)

Lisa :)

myajdw 08-01-2006 10:08 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
i watched a little boy whose parents were constantly running out of dipes and bought the worst of the worst as well...it was horrible. what makes it really sad is i just didn't get it b/c BOTH parents were working at the same place my dh was working and each making the same as him. and at the time i used sposies and BOTH ds's were in sposies (i bought pampers or white cloud at the time). what i did was stash a dipe or two a day so that when they would come to me w/no dipes and he was still in the dipe from the night before and they would be there at LUNCH TIME (they dropped him off at 5:30, lunch was at 12) with a pack of dipes. i also often ended up putting him in my kids dipes....but that's not an option for you. i don't know what i would've done for that poor baby if he didn't fit in my kids dipes. the ones they bought for him were also too small it was horrible. and he also had horrible diaper rash for the first week i had him, after that (b/c he was being changed enough, between me stashing his diapers and using ours) he didn't. i remember one time her telling me that they cleared up a rash by putting him to bed w/o a diaper at all (he was JUST over a year old AND had diahrea)!!! she said him and the bed were a mess the next morning but his rash healed up....i didn't even know what to say.
anyhow enough about my rant!! i agree to the charging an extra $10 a week, but don't even mention why. just tell her you need to charge more per week.

oh and also, no WIC does not provide diapers HOWEVER when you are running low and having money issues if they have them they will give them to you...i often gave our extra sposies to wic for this purpose when our children would grow out of them. suggest that to her or call the wic office yourself and tell them the situation, but that you don't want to embarass the mother. let them know this has never happened before, but you do need some diapers for the child this week.

rowynne 08-01-2006 10:08 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I have some large dipes you can have FFS and a pack of pull ups size 3 or 4T (I'll have to check). PM me with your zipcode & I can let you know what I have.

Oh & I have several $1.50 off coupons for huggies & pampers too!

Prettylocks 08-01-2006 10:45 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
That poor baby! Maybe you can just potty train her?

itsamy9 08-01-2006 10:58 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I went to school and worked so I know how money can be tight. With little ones sometimes you can hear your pennies screaming for mercy. But that situation seems very very wrong. the mother really needs to be taken aside maybe you can suggest CD on weeks that she is really short on cash. She would need to provide the money for the original dipes tho.

hope this gets worked out quickly.

monkeymama 08-01-2006 11:24 AM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by aimeemarie
I've actually heard of some Moms who leave babies in sposies for 4 hours...I'm sure it would hold but ick!

I have friends that have their babies in Huggies and Papmers. I have them over for playdates sometimes, and say I invite them over for 11am... They leave at 2pm.... sometimes the mamas do not change their girls AT ALL during that 3 hour period. AND plus there's the drive over to my place, and the drive home, so probably a good 3.5 - 4 hours.

I just find it SOOO weird. All I can think is, "gross, chemically gel-like goo on baby's bum"

HappyCDMamainWI 08-01-2006 12:57 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I'd do prefold, Gerber trainers, my own towels. Hoard the sposies for nap times. There's no way I'd let a babe go 10hrs with only 3 diaper changes. I figure if she's not providing enough diapers to last the day, then she has no right to whine about me putting cloth on her kid. JMO.

Hopefully it's just a bad bad week and she'll go back to normal next week. (hugs)

masonite 08-01-2006 01:06 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I have some diapers coupons too. (Get them in the mail...) I can always send them to you if you want!! LMK!!:thumbsup:

travelinmom 08-01-2006 01:28 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Maybe if you showed her that it is cheaper. You can get a dozen pfs for the sprice of one of those boxes of diapers. And Gerber plastic pants are super cheap at Walmart. It would save so much money. She probably thinks it's more expensive than it really is.

rowynne 08-01-2006 01:47 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I've got 7 dipes, 5 covers & 9 pull ups. usps said shipping is about $9 for all of it. just LMK if you want them & I'll get them out ASAP. I'd be at least enough for one day if you dont mind washing dipes every night.

dirtdartwife 08-01-2006 02:00 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
poor kid. I feel sorry for the baby. Reverse situation but when I was on active duty, I had a babysitter that wouldn't change my baby. She even used the dipes/wipes that I provided for my baby on other peoples' children then would tell me she's running out! I fired her.

You mentioned she's almost two, or just turned two... I'd do the mama a favor and try potty training! You just mentioned you've noticed when she needs to poo... that's just like EC so now you know when she has to go! I'd keep that up and then help the mama out.

Three dipes a day is nearly criminal. I know some kids can go for three hours without "going" (my 14 month old has done that to me on more than a few occassions), so being in the same dipe isn't too odd. But if it's been used... yeah... yuck. What will the mom say if her baby has more than one BM in one day and you've used more than three dipes? And what's she using at home if the pack she gave you has to last till the end of the week?

Sorry... just sounds like the mom needs a gentle push... I understand being broke, but some people can't see the forest because of the trees. kwim?

I wish I could send some stuff to help but I don't have any coupons or stuff like that.

tararaboomdeea 08-01-2006 02:04 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
I'm guessing she is uneducated about "modern" CD's and probably doesn't want to take the time to learn about them and how cost effective they could be. And maybe as a working Mom, she doesn't have the extra time it would take to wash and care for her CD's.

JNW 08-01-2006 02:29 PM

Re: Why are some people so anti when they should be for it??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stephaniehauser
THat is so sad, it reminds me of a story my cousin told me. THis baby at her daycare came back to daycare every morning in the dipe he left in the day before!! He was convinced of this, and started marking them where the parents could not see. Sure enough the mark was there the next day!! She started taking pics etc and reported them!! Okay enough about the rant that just saddens me!!!

That is disgusting! How could any responsible parent do such a thing as to reuse a disposable diaper? It's not like you can wash and reuse it.


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