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chandni3 01-28-2013 01:10 PM

Am I terrible because...
 
I don't really want a natural birth? I want to want one, but I'd much prefer to go in, get an epi and just sit and relax until it's time to push. I know there can be side effects, I know the reasons natural is better, but I just don't want to go through all that pain. I had a great experience with my epi for my daughter and it makes me want to just do it the easy way again. How do I make myself want a natural birth?

MadeofStarStuff 01-28-2013 01:18 PM

I don't think you are terrible at all! I had an epidural with both of my boys and loved my labors. I would never do it any other way, if I had a choice. I say, go with what you are most comfortable with. Birth is the most personal experience there is and there is no wrong way to bring life into the world. :)

Kiliki 01-28-2013 01:19 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chandni3 (Post 16216947)
I don't really want a natural birth? I want to want one, but I'd much prefer to go in, get an epi and just sit and relax until it's time to push. I know there can be side effects, I know the reasons natural is better, but I just don't want to go through all that pain. I had a great experience with my epi for my daughter and it makes me want to just do it the easy way again. How do I make myself want a natural birth?

I love natural birth, personally, for myself.

But I don't see why you should try to *make* yourself want one.

If you've read all about the pros/cons and risks of epis, and you are comfortable having one, laboring in bed on your back, then do it your way. :goodvibes:

That's what informed consent is all about! Knowing the pros/cons and risks associated and making whatever choice fits YOU best.

Know what else? I've had 3 natural pain-med-free births. I am planning my 4th in the next 6 weeks. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to just go get an Epi, get hooked up, watch TV for a few hours, maybe take a nap, and then push a baby out of my vag.... be catered to for a few days, brought my meals, get to watch cable, have visitors and flowers delivered to my room....hmmmmmm"

While I believe in natural birth being the best choice, it certainly isn't without its own set of "cons"! Do what works for you, mama. Don't base your decision on what others will think. :hugs:

peep_erz 01-28-2013 01:20 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
If you don't want it you don't want it.

While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways. I know my body has a high tolerance for drugs so I would hate to get the epidural and expect pain relief but get pain anyways. In that situation I would not only be in pain but I would be pissed off! Lol.

My mom went natural with all of her kids. She said it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. I trust her so my birth wish is to try natural.

klevmomma 01-28-2013 01:23 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
I'm in kind of the opposite position. I wish I could talk myself into the epi! It would be so nice in so many ways (I've had 1 epi birth and 4 med-free). But I just have this thing with needles, so I just can't will myself to get one without some stronger reason for needing one.

There is nothing wrong with getting an epi if it is what you want. You absolutely should go with what you are comfortable with.

One option you could consider would be reading up on non-medication coping techniques . When you go into labor, you can use those until you feel ready for the epi. Just an idea :-)

mommajewels 01-28-2013 01:25 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Not terrible at all. I don't go in with the mindset, "I'm going to get an epidural." and I don't go in with the mindset, "I'm not going to use pain medication." I go in thinking I will roll with the punches and do what feels right. So far, out of my 5 deliveries... I opted for the epidural with 4 of my kiddos. Got the epi, took a nap, woke up and delivered my healthy baby. Every experience was wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm about 6 weeks from having #6, and if I don't need an epi.. great! If I do decide to get one... I have faith all will be well. :)

RunawayBunny 01-28-2013 01:30 PM

I don't think that makes you terrible at all. I think if you make an informed decision than you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it. If what you are really looking for is someone to talk you into a natural birth I am sure there are plenty of links and videos and statistics that mamas can direct you to.

I have had a few doulas say that 7cm is a pretty magic number and if you can hold off until then the risks are reduced (no clue if there is any data to back that up), but maybe thats something to look into to help ease your mind?

I will say that you should never count on the labor/birth going a certain way (as I am sure you know). I was all for the epidural with DS. Instead I had problems starting about a half an hour after I got it. It started out spotty and then made my blood pressure crash. Around 7cm they had to turn it off. I was not at all prepared to mentally handle the pain. So my focus with this pregnancy was to prepare for a med free birth just in case.

Pixi6s 01-28-2013 01:30 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society :(

I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!)

I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book.
http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-.../dp/0757302661

This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.

Kimmyann 01-28-2013 01:30 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
No way is that terrible... Heck if I every get pregnant I want to just be knocked out and wake me up when its over.

NutMeg4189 01-28-2013 01:55 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
No! It's your birth. You should enjoy and be happy with the birth you have because it's what you want, not because it's what you think you should do.

I'm going into this birth the same way I went into the first which is open mind and see what happens :)

You Tell 'Em 01-28-2013 03:01 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
No, you're not terrible :hugs: It's your birth mama :) I had an epi with my first, no issues with baby or myself (except for some tearing, but I had the same tearing with my second which was a homebirth). I'm planning a hospital birth this time (natural) but heck, if I'm in hard labor 10+ hours there you betcha an epi will cross my mind :giggle:

The big difference for me (after birth) was with the epi, I looked/felt like a truck ran over me. With my second, once I was rehydrated I felt amazing and looked like normal.

carlycurry 01-28-2013 03:21 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
That does NOT make you terrible. Birth plans are a totally personal decision up to the individual woman. I personally don't want to be in all that pain and like to save my energy for pushing, so, for me, an epidural is what I choose.

amb2j 01-28-2013 03:23 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Dont make yourself want something you dont. Do what you know works for you and want that :-)

craigwick 01-28-2013 03:33 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peep_erz (Post 16217008)
While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways.

I had an epi with my first and felt nothing (they had to use forceps as I couldn't feel to push!) and I did have the epi with DD2, but she had other ideas and was born before it kicked in! Was I ever mad! I'm over it now, as recovery was way quicker that time. Do whatever works for you OP!

EmilytheStrange 01-28-2013 03:34 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
of course it doesn't make you terrible.

I think the important thing is to make an informed decision. And if that's the decision you're making, then it's fine.

Honestly? It's very tempting to just go in for a repeat csection. I could schedule family to fly up or really any childcare, I would be on base rather than an hour away.... there are a ton of other factors that it would simplify. but I am making a different choice.

but I understand the temptation to do things differently. I understand why people make the decisions they make. As long as they're making the decision with knowledge in their tool belt, then it's their decision to make.

happysmileylady 01-28-2013 03:47 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

gingersnappy 01-28-2013 04:01 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Why not just keep an open mind?
If the pain gets too great, just ask for the epidural! Let your midwives or nurses know your "plan". I just gave birth at the end Dec, and had planned on all natural birth but wasn't hell bent on it. Good thing too... My water broke, then was in labor for 36+ hours and wasn't dilating like I should. At first, I stuck it out, then opted for Fentanyl ( which barely did anything), then wound up with oxytocin and an epidural. Thank god for the epidural. The epidural allowed me to rest pain-free so I could actually push effectively later... no side effects from the epidural and I was able to stand relatively soon after... wish I had the epidural after 10 hrs of labor!!

qsefthuko 01-28-2013 04:24 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixi6s (Post 16217048)
I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society :(

I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!)

I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book.
http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-.../dp/0757302661

This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.

I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).

The Fancy Pansy 01-28-2013 05:20 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiliki (Post 16216996)
I love natural birth, personally, for myself.

But I don't see why you should try to *make* yourself want one.

If you've read all about the pros/cons and risks of epis, and you are comfortable having one, laboring in bed on your back, then do it your way. :goodvibes:

That's what informed consent is all about! Knowing the pros/cons and risks associated and making whatever choice fits YOU best.

Know what else? I've had 3 natural pain-med-free births. I am planning my 4th in the next 6 weeks. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to just go get an Epi, get hooked up, watch TV for a few hours, maybe take a nap, and then push a baby out of my vag.... be catered to for a few days, brought my meals, get to watch cable, have visitors and flowers delivered to my room....hmmmmmm"

While I believe in natural birth being the best choice, it certainly isn't without its own set of "cons"! Do what works for you, mama. Don't base your decision on what others will think. :hugs:

Wow, that sounds amazing. But has anyone ever had that happen? I know I didn't with my natural OR my epi birth! :roflmbo:

Quote:

Originally Posted by peep_erz (Post 16217008)
If you don't want it you don't want it.

While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways. I know my body has a high tolerance for drugs so I would hate to get the epidural and expect pain relief but get pain anyways. In that situation I would not only be in pain but I would be pissed off! Lol.

My mom went natural with all of her kids. She said it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. I trust her so my birth wish is to try natural.

Normally I take twice the amount of any pain drug or anesthetic in order to even remotely work, but the epi worked for me perfectly, no adjustments needed.

My mom said the same thing, BTW. But my mom's body obviously handles childbirth a world differently than mine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunawayBunny (Post 16217045)
I don't think that makes you terrible at all. I think if you make an informed decision than you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it. If what you are really looking for is someone to talk you into a natural birth I am sure there are plenty of links and videos and statistics that mamas can direct you to.

I have had a few doulas say that 7cm is a pretty magic number and if you can hold off until then the risks are reduced (no clue if there is any data to back that up), but maybe thats something to look into to help ease your mind?

I will say that you should never count on the labor/birth going a certain way (as I am sure you know). I was all for the epidural with DS. Instead I had problems starting about a half an hour after I got it. It started out spotty and then made my blood pressure crash. Around 7cm they had to turn it off. I was not at all prepared to mentally handle the pain. So my focus with this pregnancy was to prepare for a med free birth just in case.

I was actually just reading a bunch of epi stats, and the possibility of the epi not being effective goes up once you hit 7 cm. My hospital won't give it after 7 cm. I got mine with my second birth right when I was at 7.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixi6s (Post 16217048)
I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society :(

I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!)

I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book.
http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-.../dp/0757302661

This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.

I agree with the below poster. I had a natural birth. I did everything "right". My body can't handle it. Just like some people could have a tooth extracted without meds and deal with it fine...everyone's pain threshold and body/circumstance is vastly different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady (Post 16217744)
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

:hugs: I'm right there with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by qsefthuko (Post 16217908)
I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).

:hugs:


AFM: My first was born all naturally. I used the birthing ball, different positions, bath, etc etc etc, none of it helped at all, and the actual birth was traumatically painful. Literally traumatic. Everything went "right", but my body canNOT handle that.

My second birth I was in serious painful labor for 48 hours, with contractions ever 6-8 minutes for 48 hours before they finally regulated to 4 minutes and I got to the hospital at 6-7. Got the epi asap. That birth was my healing balm. The experience was amazingly peaceful, and what I believe birth was meant to be like, before humankind went and messed everything up (thanks, Eve).

I was looking up risks, and without being able to find exact comparison numbers, it looks to me like I'm more likely to have a serious injury or death from driving to the hospital than I am to have a serious complication from getting an epi.


OP: If the epi was the horrible thing some people make it out to be, doctors wouldn't allow or support it. There's a lot of epi hate out there, misinformation, and fear mongering. Is an epi for everyone? Absolutely not! But it is for some, and it can be an amazing thing.

Kiliki 01-28-2013 06:08 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fancy Pansy (Post 16218148)
Wow, that sounds amazing. But has anyone ever had that happen? I know I didn't with my natural OR my epi birth! :roflmbo:


Honestly, if my first birth would have been with more caring staff, and cable TV, it would have been nice. The hospital staff and their stupid protocol and their condescending treatment are what ruined it for me.

I could totally see it being peaceful and relaxing with the right staff.

qsefthuko 01-28-2013 06:19 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimmyann (Post 16217050)
No way is that terrible... Heck if I every get pregnant I want to just be knocked out and wake me up when its over.

I had to laugh when I read this. I have had 3 c section. 2 I was so tired when I received pain killers I fell asleep. I had been in labor with each around 12+ hours and not sleeping well for several months. The nurse woke after baby was all cleaned up and ready to be seen. The third I was awake the whole time. I think sleeping is the best way to go. I was chewing nails the whole time. Absolutely hated it. I bonded great with them all no problem. (yeah I don't tell my cpm mama this though)

The Fancy Pansy 01-28-2013 06:21 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiliki (Post 16218334)
Honestly, if my first birth would have been with more caring staff, and cable TV, it would have been nice. The hospital staff and their stupid protocol and their condescending treatment are what ruined it for me.

I could totally see it being peaceful and relaxing with the right staff.

:hugs: With my first, the main nurse was super pushy and annoying, and with my second the main nurse was the sweetest lady. It makes SUCH a difference.

Nickel+3 01-28-2013 06:54 PM

I've had 2 epi births and one natural. I had a HORRIBLE complication with my epi birth. I'll NEVER ever get an epi again. It scares me to death. Worst birth experience of my life. My natural birth, sure it hurt. But only during labor. I didn't have to lay flat on my back for 2 weeks after birth without even a pillow having my husband change my pads for me.

cormama 01-28-2013 07:37 PM

Both births with my 2 girls were with epidurals and I tried to go natural with both. I know my body and know when I just can't take the pain anymore. I think everyone is entitled to deciding what works for them. I know I'll be asking for an epi with this next birth! Don't feel guilty!

gingerpeachee 01-28-2013 08:17 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady (Post 16217744)
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fancy Pansy (Post 16218148)


I agree with the below poster. I had a natural birth. I did everything "right". My body can't handle it. Just like some people could have a tooth extracted without meds and deal with it fine...everyone's pain threshold and body/circumstance is vastly different.

.

:werd:

yellowitchgrl 01-28-2013 08:23 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
I'm having a home birth and I don't think you're awful- I think education is key and knowing what the benefits and risks are is extremely important. After that personal preference is important too because you don't want to do something you feel like you "should" and then have hated the experience. That defeats the purpose.

I do caution anyone from elective c-sections, because I think many times they aren't fully aware of how much more risk they are putting into the situation, but if they know and still want that- again, that's their call.

NutMeg4189 01-28-2013 09:13 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixi6s (Post 16217048)
I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society :(

I also have to disagree with this. I was given pitocin after hours of my water breaking and leaking. Nothing was happening and then all the sudden I was in excruciating pain. It was not something that society told me to feel. I barely knew what pitocin was at that point in my life. It was serious, real pain.

When I found out I was pregnant, laboring naturally, or really just without pitocin at all was one of the first things I discussed with my midwife. She told me we would do everything possible to avoid it but that I need to be prepared for the fact that some women just work that way and even without pitocin I could go straight into incredibly strong, painful contractions and if that was the case we could talk about pain management methods before hand to see what I'm comfortable with.

It's great that labor is simply uncomfortable for you, but everyone's body is different and it's important to remember and respect that.

dancingingrace 01-28-2013 09:41 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady (Post 16217744)
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

Totally agree!


I went into both of my deliveries with an open mind. My first time, I had absolutely no idea what to even expect (obviously), so I wasn't set on getting one or not, just wanted to go with the flow and see what happened. I wasn't in pain until a little while after he broke my water, and I got the epi. AMAZING experience, I honestly enjoyed AND can remember every second of that labor and delivery. 2nd time, same thing...I was even induced with pitocin, and had no pain, but the second they broke my water, the pain turned on just like that, so I got the epi again. Another amazing experience!! And, BTW....I did have two of those births where I got the epi, relaxed with the tv, took a nap, pushed a baby out in under 15 min, and was catered to until I left the hospital...they DO happen...lol. But seriously OP, don't let anyone else's opinions make you feel badly for what YOU want, and for what works for you. Like my doctor told me, there are risks with every single thing you do in life, even things as simple as taking your prenatal vitamins...but, if epi's were so terrible, they wouldn't be allowed, like someone else mentioned. I've had some people try to make me feel badly for getting my epi's, but I don't feel badly about it because that was what worked for me. Neither of my babies suffered side effects, I didn't have side effects and was able to get up to the bathroom on my own very soon afterwards, and the biggest thing for me is that I enjoyed every moment of both labors and deliveries. If I were in all the pain (that I really do feel before my epi), my births wouldn't go as smoothly as they do and I wouldn't remember much of them b/c I'd be so worked up from the pain. Also, you don't need to worry about them wearing off too early b/c you can have them turned on until the anesthesiologist turns them off, it's not like you get one does and that's it. Just trust yourself, mama, and don't worry about anyone else! :hugs:

lynn97 01-29-2013 12:13 AM

Nope! I researched them before having DS and was open to having it or not. I labored for 14 hours without it. Actually, it was offered to me when I first arrived at the hospital and I declined. 5 hours later, I caved b/c I was still no where near delivering and I was exhausted. I have to say, though, I didn't just nap and relax. I still felt ctx and was pretty uncomfortable at multiple points. In general, though, it was a good experience and i plan to get one this time too, unless I just progress too fast. Research it and do what is right for you!

evasimone 01-29-2013 11:43 AM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
I think you should do what you want. I chose a homebirth and had a great experience, I wasn't in excruciating pain. It was tough but not terrible and I really loved the experience. But I certainly don't blame anyone for choosing an epidural.

Personally they freak me out plus I have a fractured vertebra and I don't trust anyone to put a needle in my spine. So since I was terrified of an epidural it just made sense to do it at home.

trying4more 01-29-2013 12:42 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
I don't blame you.
There is a huge part of me that wants to the home birth/water birth.
I've had 2 epi's and 2 no epi births. I loved all of them, but I didn't like the state of mind I was in during my non epi births. KWIM? I was out of control. I don't handle pain well, and I have extremely fast labors that I had no adjustment period and just freaked out.
I've been going back and forth whether I want an epi or natural again for next time.

cheezpoofs 01-29-2013 03:06 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Your baby, your body, your birth

How can you make yourself want a natural birth? You can read lots of affirming and happy natural birth stories. You can read all the side effects and risks of the drugs and interventions in medicalized birth. You can read stories of women who are affected by the possible permanent side effects of the drugs. You could do none of these things and still determine within yourself that you will do it anyway for whatever reasons you deem valid.

I, however, would probably start with reading the affirming natural childbirth stories.

d_arnold 01-29-2013 03:12 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Absolutely not!

I never wanted a natural birth. Props to those who can birth a baby without an epi but it's not for me. I ended up laboring until 6cm drug free (not by choice) and I hated it. Once I got the epi I was really able to enjoy my labor.

I know a lot of moms have had a poor experience with an epi, but I LOVED it. I could still move my legs and feet and was totally aware, just not in excruciating pain.

It's your birth. Do what you want and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise!

mama_to_DJM 01-29-2013 03:20 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Not terrible! There's no one right way, IMO. I've done both and there are definitely pros & cons. I had one with my first (after 16 hours of labor & only being halfway dilated), didn't need one with my 2nd, and got one with my 3rd/last (only an hour before she was born). With my 3rd, I felt like I had nothing to prove to myself anymore- I had already had an epi-free birth, and I didn't want the remainder of my labor to be miserable. I don't regret it one bit.

I say just go with the flow! :thumbsup:

MyLovely 01-29-2013 04:31 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Not at all. I want a natural birth and plan to do it at home, but if it gets too much for me I'd have no shame in going in for an epi. Women should be able to birth however they want without shame, from unassisted in a shoe closet to a planned c-section. Most women have epis, there must be something to them :giggle:

JennTheMomma 01-29-2013 08:50 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
If you want one, have one, if you don't, don't. I had a epi birth with my first, and a homebirth with my second. I'm choosing homebirth again for this one, but you're not bad for wanting an epi.

chandni3 01-30-2013 06:35 AM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Thanks for the replies. I did want natural at first but now that we know the baby has a cleft palate and all, I just want to focus on the baby and breastfeeding. I don't really care so much now about a natural birth. Also I don't know if I can handle the pain, I couldn't the first time though my labour started off at 5 mins apart and was doing nothing. I was going to give birth with a midwife at the local hospital but I've heard horror stories about their anesthesiologist and so now I'm thinking of going back to the hospital an hour away where I had my daughter. It'll also depend of course on what resourses are available where for our baby. I had a great experience with my epi and was able to go to the bathroom on my own soon after. I just want that again.

The Fancy Pansy 01-30-2013 08:46 AM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
:hugs: I know "they" say that the epi can interfere with bf'ing, but I don't know where that info is supposed to come from, and it sure wasn't true for me. My first (natural birth) was the one who had an agonizing time getting her to BF. My second (epi birth) latched on within 30 minutes and was a nursing champ from the start. Anecdotal, I know, but for me, the trauma of natural birth was a serious deterrent in BF'ing, whereas the peaceful entrance of my epi birth fostered an immediate attachment and a wonderful nursing relationship.

Our hospital is an hour away from our house as well. There are 4 other places we could stop on the way if there was an emergency, but it's never been a problem, and our hospital has an amazing nicu and I generally love the staff, especially my OB, so it's totally worth the drive!

Pixi6s 01-30-2013 02:41 PM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady (Post 16217744)
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. [...] It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

Quote:

Originally Posted by qsefthuko (Post 16217908)
I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fancy Pansy (Post 16218148)
I agree with the below poster. I had a natural birth. I did everything "right". My body can't handle it. Just like some people could have a tooth extracted without meds and deal with it fine...everyone's pain threshold and body/circumstance is vastly different.

I sure it does hurt for some people no matter what. But if you go in thinking its going to hurt there is just about no way in hell what it isn't. That is more my point. I like to try to tell people that it doesn't hurt for everyone, so maybe it won't for you. :goodvibes: I don't think people who have experienced this say it enough. I will never say it's easy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg4189 (Post 16219205)
I also have to disagree with this. I was given pitocin after hours of my water breaking and leaking. Nothing was happening and then all the sudden I was in excruciating pain. It was not something that society told me to feel. I barely knew what pitocin was at that point in my life. It was serious, real pain.

Things didn't go prefect for me either, I pushed for 3hrs and got an episiotomy that was later extended (now those hurt like hell) cause he was stuck. I did get pitocin at the end it scared me but they said my contractions were back to 5 min apart (I had no concept of time). I think it just put things back on track in my situation and he was born soon after.

Like I said it is very hard work. I guess I was lucky that the whole labor was just under 24 hours, vrs days that the poster above mentioned.

Like everything with having and raising children its all personal decision and are many strong opinions. I don't think the OP is wrong for wanting to goto a hospital and have an epi, I'm sure that is right for some people. I agree with the poster that mentioned going to the hospital and trying to do it without, knowing its an option if needed.

I believe that people in the US believe labor is going to hurt no matter what. I don't think that should be a fact. It may hurt but, in my opinion, it's not a guarantee.

chandni3 02-02-2013 07:56 AM

Re: Am I terrible because...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixi6s (Post 16226083)
I sure it does hurt for some people no matter what. But if you go in thinking its going to hurt there is just about no way in hell what it isn't. That is more my point. I like to try to tell people that it doesn't hurt for everyone, so maybe it won't for you. :goodvibes: I don't think people who have experienced this say it enough. I will never say it's easy.



Things didn't go prefect for me either, I pushed for 3hrs and got an episiotomy that was later extended (now those hurt like hell) cause he was stuck. I did get pitocin at the end it scared me but they said my contractions were back to 5 min apart (I had no concept of time). I think it just put things back on track in my situation and he was born soon after.

Like I said it is very hard work. I guess I was lucky that the whole labor was just under 24 hours, vrs days that the poster above mentioned.

Like everything with having and raising children its all personal decision and are many strong opinions. I don't think the OP is wrong for wanting to goto a hospital and have an epi, I'm sure that is right for some people. I agree with the poster that mentioned going to the hospital and trying to do it without, knowing its an option if needed.

I believe that people in the US believe labor is going to hurt no matter what. I don't think that should be a fact. It may hurt but, in my opinion, it's not a guarantee.

Yes, I read in the Hypnobirthing books how pain in childbirth is not a part of other cultures, but really, I don't think that's true. Even the Bible talks about the pain of childbirth and the curse for eating the forbidden fruit was pain in childbirth. I think some cultures might keep the fact there is pain a secret to not scare new moms, or just that husbands don't know what happens so don't realize there is pain or it's just a taboo subject. Some probably use local pain relief for mothers. Maybe in some cultures there isn't often pain which could be due to the physical build of the women in the culture and the size of the baby and the fact that they have many children or the type of manual labour they are used to gives them a different pain tolerance or helps the baby be born faster. The fact is in most 3rd world countries childbirth is very dangerous and still the leading cause of death of women. The people that have great labours with little to no pain are few and far between and are not the norm. You can't say almost every woman is feeling pain just because she expects it and so it's all really caused by her mindset. I didn't expect to feel lots of pain and I did.


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