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carolineb 05-04-2012 01:39 PM

I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
So, we're finishing up our 2nd year of homeschooling. For DS K year, I was pregnant, he had a horrible attitude, we really didn't get much done. We were part of a Classical Conversations group and he loves that. This year has been 1st grade year, although he's been doing 2nd grade math, spelling, reading. We also did CC again and that's it.

With a very demanding high needs baby who rarely naps, I have felt overwhelmed. The laundry piles up, the toilet/bathrooms, well, everything is filthy. We're lucky to get math and spelling done while MDS is at preschool. Once he gets home, it's so hard to get refocused and do anything else.

DH and I have been talking and we're leaning towards putting both kids in PS next year. ODS will be 2nd grade, MDS will be K (it's only 1/2 day). We never said we would HS a certain number of years. We just wanted to try it. It hasn't gone the way I had hoped and it's exponentially harder than I ever imagined. I love having my kids home and being with them, but I just feel like I'm not doing enough and I thought HS would be better for them, but a part of me is thinking maybe it isn't. With everything on my plate, I have a hard enough time just getting math and spelling done with one kid. I don't know how I would get anything done with 2 kids.

Well, my problem is that ODS doesn't want to go because I have painted a negative picture of school. During his bad attitude episodes, I would remind him how much I enjoy being with him and how much I want HS to work. I talked about how with PS you are in school 6+ hours, and you don't have as much freedom to jump around to do work, etc. He knows they would have more school work to do AND homework. I apologized to him today as we talked about it (he was in TEARS!!) and told him what I did was wrong. I tried to talk more positively about it and how good it would be for him.

I see him in other class settings like church, CC, scouts, and he's very engaged and participatory. He isn't engaged like that with me. At home there are so many distractions of toys, brothers, TV. We have a small house and not really a good space to separate where school is done.

Anyway, this is getting long but I just wonder if anyone has experienced this and what can I do to help him think more positively about PS? I'm still willing to HS, but I really just feel overwhelmed and feel I'm not doing as good as I should be. Not that I am failing him, but I just can't devote the time to it that I know I should. And for my own sanity/stress level, I feel like I just need to send them to school.

happysmileylady 05-04-2012 01:57 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
I think your best bet is really to apologize and say you were wrong and then take it from there.

EmilytheStrange 05-04-2012 02:13 PM

You can't change the past. And don't feel guilty - HS isn't the right choice for every family.

I think he will probably like it if he enjoys the other things you listed.

Just tell him you were wrong. Admitting that is a great lesson for him.

And if he hates it... Well, hopefully your newborn will be less needy then and you'll be in a different place and you may choose to try the HS route again.

Aubrey<3Gavin 05-04-2012 02:40 PM

If he is enjoying things like church and scouts start make a positive connection for him between those activities and school. Maybe that will help?

Shaunam 05-04-2012 03:51 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
I'm in exactly the same situation. Seriously could have written your post right down to the age of the child. Except I haven't managed ANY extra curricular activities. :banghead: I'm overwhelmed having a SN kid, plus DS is proving to have a few SN himself.

chandni3 05-04-2012 04:49 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
Maybe you could take him to visit the school and class for a day?

Suzi 05-04-2012 05:17 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
Not the same at all but when my son had to change ps's he was in tears. He was going into first grade then. We did a few things that helped: played at their playground a little, took a tour where he got to check out their computers (he loves computers) and look around some. They had nearly everyone that he would have come say hello and they were all enthusiastic and made some jokes (my son loves cheesy jokes). They also have a helper in the morning who goes to the office so he got to do that right away. I brought our cat around the 3rd week of school and he was excited to show her off. I found other excuses to help with the class. The main thing that has helped is that with drop off and pick up I get out of my car and get to know all the other kids (most parents just wait in the car for their kid to come to them). Its helped me help my ds make friends. I started this because yds is non verbal and so I have learned that if you compliment kids that will keep helping my ds. But, it has worked really great with ods too. Now, my ods was still fairly miserable until April, lol. But, he has lots of good memories and even though he was in denial about it I could see him starting to adjust well.

I think hs is awesome! But, I could see where its not for everyone. Its something I can't do. I'm glad you had the opportunity

carolineb 05-04-2012 05:56 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...

Originally Posted by chandni3 (Post 15049647)
Maybe you could take him to visit the school and class for a day?

I have thought about doing this. I guess I better call and make arrangements! We will be leaving town early June and they will be closed by the time we get back.

greengranny 05-04-2012 10:45 PM

Re: I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
I can't offer advice on your dilemma about school, but I will tell you that you are probably accomplishing a lot more at home than you realize.

I have home schooled for 19 years. I have graduated 3 kids, and have one left at home. There were times when life just happened that maybe all we did was cover math and English, but there were times when life was happening that they were learning things they never could've learned in school (like DS sitting in on my mom's cardiology visits before and after her triple bypass - it was so awesome how the dr explained to him with a diagram exactly what he was going to do to his mawmaw's heart to fix it, and all of them helping to take care of her afterwards). That's a single example. There have been so many things they've been exposed to because they have been at home. Some things just can't be learned in a classroom.

Classical Conversations is an intense program (very good, but intense). Maybe step back and do something a little lighter. Cover the basics each day (math, English), and get him some good, age-appropriate history and science reading material. He can learn a lot just reading interesting, factual stories.

A child his age, with one on one teaching, does not need to do more than 2 hours each day of work. Maybe you can just let yourself off the hook a little.

Just another perspective...

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