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MT_ranch_mom 07-07-2009 04:07 PM

So what's the difference? (CIO related)-UPDATE!
So after reading this, I thought maybe I'd try to lay her down and see if she calms herself. No luck. Instead, she did a high pitch screaming and started banging her head repeatedly on the side of the crib while screaming. I waited outside her door to see if she would stop and after 3 minutes (I timed it) of listening to her scream and bang her head, I went in and got her. I just don't feel comfy with the head banging and high pitch screaming. She screamed until somewhere around 2am (we started the bedtime routine at 8:30). By midnight I gave up rocking her and brought her into bed with me. DH went to go sleep on the couch cause we all don't fit well in our bed. She continued to scream and arch her back and scream. Finally gave up at 2am and we both passed out from exhaustion.

Yesterday morning I had a chiroprator appt for my normal adjustment and when my dr asked how I was doing I said tired and told him why. He did a thermal scan on her spine and it showed up on the computer that her spine was out of alignment in the center. She had three vertebrates that were out in her mid back. He asked if he could adjust her and I said 'sure, I'm game for anything.' He did a little adjustment and last night she went to sleep nursing at 8:30pm, I laid her down fine in her crib with no complaints and she slept till 4:30am this morning with no night waking. She nursed and went back to sleep till 6:15 with no crying. So now my almost 9 month old will be going to the chiroprator on a regular basis. Never thought I'd do that, but whatever works.

I do feel better that at least if she was in pain cause her back hurt that I was trying to comfot her and not letting her lay in her crib in pain alone.

ok, so I have this seemingly dumb question....
DD2 (almost 10 months) doesn't sleep well. She's NEVER fallen asleep on her own except in the car. I have to rock her, nurse her, pat her etc..It's just the way she is.
She dairy, whey, soy, you name it intolerant so I've eliminated just about everything from my diet since she was 2 months old.
So as I was attempting to get her to sleep last night, she was doing her usual screaming deal. She'll nurse a bit, pull off and then scream bloody murder till she passes out in my arms. I'll rock her a bit more and then lay her in her crib and she's good for the night unless she gets up to nurse, but then she goes right back to sleep. We do the routine thing, bath, story, bedtime....
Her room is dark, we cut off the TV long before bedtime cause DD1 (2) needs to wind down too.
Anyway, as I was rocking her while she screamed, I had to wonder what the difference was between me rocking her and her screaming till she fell asleep and her just laying in her crib screaming till she feel asleep. I don't believe in CIO so I'm not temped to try it but I just wanted other mama's opinions about the issue.
I know the obvious difference is that I'm holding her, rocking her, trying to soothe her, but nothing works, especially at night. She still screams till she passes out.

MamaNotes 07-07-2009 05:07 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
Oh I totally know what you mean. I rock/dance/hold my baby to sleep all the time while he's crying and falling asleep.

I think CIO means just leaving them to cry. What you're doing is trying to stop their crying by comforting them, holding them, etc. You're not just letting them cry it out.. does that make sense? :) :headscratch:

SewGreenBaby 07-07-2009 06:28 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
I had the same routine, until I realized it was actually causing him to stay awake and cry. Now I nurse him, read a story, sing a song and then lay him down, he cries for a few minutes and falls right asleep. I think maybe some lo's try to fight sleep because you're still there. There's still a reason for them to stay awake. But once they're in their crib, there's nothing else to keep them awake. :)

kdpatty 07-07-2009 06:36 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
I totally agree with Naturally Pampered- i did the same thing with my now 10 month old. i could rock, walk, sing pat, cuddle all i want, and she would just scream, now she rolls over and goes right to sleep on her own. you can be miserable together for hrs on end, or you can be miserable apart for less than an hr and have a happy baby who wont remember a thing in the AM.

every baby and situation is different, and it works great for some, not so great for others and most of the time for me. but i do think that if they are crying that long in your arms, its no more detrimental to let them cry in their bed.

of course its whatever your comfortable with, if your cool letting them CIO in your arms- while you soothe, as long as its working for you thats all that matters. sounds like its the initial wind down your lo is fighting

lifeabroad 07-07-2009 07:02 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
I never in a million years thought i would let my baby CIO...but much like you i was doing all sorts of crazy things to "trick" my LO into sleeping...then it did eventually get to screaming in my arms...we did that for a long while and then we came to the decision to let him CIO in bed...we just did it to fall asleep and didnt attack CIO excessive night wakings until much later...but honestly once we decided, the crying lasted for only 30 minutes that first night and got less and less until after only about 5 days he cried NONE to fall asleep or only 2 minutes MAX...he has done this for two months and hasnt regressed in that regard at all...I know there are a ton of people completely opposed to CIO, but now i feel i am meeting my sons need for sleep MUCH better than i was when it was taking two hours of him "fighting" what he needed, now he goes right to sleep. on the surface it doesnt seem like the most loving thing, but in the end a lot of babies just need help in learning that when they are tired, they need to sleep...

oh i could go was such a hard decision for me and i dont exactly know where you are emotionally about it all but i just encourage you that a) you arent alone in your babies sleep issues and b) do what you feel like is best for your child in the long run, whatever that may be...:hugs:

GEMQEMCABOOSE 07-07-2009 07:06 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
I agree with naturally pampered. For many kiddos you make it worse when they are in their routine and really tired. They just want to go to sleep and stimulating them with condolence just frustrates them and makes it worse. The best advice I ever got for getting a baby to sleep was: PUT THEM IN THEIR BED. DS2 started this with his 10pm dreamfeed at 7 months and after 3 consecutive days of screams and refusal to eat I finally got the hint he didn't want the feeding and we dropped it without incident. At 12 months he started the same latch/unlatch screaming at his bedtime nursing. After a few days I again took the hint that he just wasn't as interested in milk as going to bed and being asleep so I put him in bed for the night and that was all he wrote. OP, sounds like your baby is trying to tell you in her own way that she is tired and wants to be put down for the night.

shelbell 07-07-2009 07:24 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
My sis had this same issue with her son and I said that she may not know the difference, he's crying with her or without but HE knows the difference. There's a big difference between me being upset and crying and lying in my bed all alone just wanting dh to hug me and me being upset and crying and having my dh hug and hold me. I might not cry less but those arms sure mean a lot. I can't imagine it's any different for a baby.

Liddle1 07-07-2009 07:26 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
have you tried cutting gluten out of your diet? that usually leads to the other issues, dairy etc.

shrijnana 07-07-2009 08:00 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

Anyway, as I was rocking her while she screamed, I had to wonder what the difference was between me rocking her and her screaming till she fell asleep and her just laying in her crib screaming till she feel asleep.
I read somewhere that it is significantly less stressful for a baby to cry in someone's arm than to cry alone. This isn't just an idea but has been verified by measuring levels of stress hormones. If I remember the source I'll post it later.

Xeniphia 07-07-2009 08:11 PM

Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)
I'd personally probably still hold her but ...

I'd make 100% certain that everything was as boring as possible while you're rocking her to sleep. Have the lights out already, whatever white-noise etc is used while she's actually sleeping but besides that I wouldn't make any noise louder than a hum. I also wouldn't do more than hold her and rock her (no rubbing or bouncing or whatever).

My nephew and son both fought sleep like this from the day they were born. We figured out that even as infants they were just too interested in what was going on around them. When what was going on around them was boring enough they'd sleep easier (not easily still). Once they hit toddler age both had to be held in bed or they would not nap :banghead: :banghead:. My sister and I tried everything else there was to try, they were just too interested in the world to sleep.

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