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-   -   Ped appt left me in tears..hmph (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10173)

jls~Kain~Drake 05-30-2006 05:26 PM

Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
Drake had his 9mo well baby checkup today....I used to really love this ped..I really trusted and valued his opinion...NO MORE.

I left the office feeling :headscratch: :cry: :lemmeathim:

The ped didn't address my concern with drake's lack of urination - he DOES pee..but it's just....very little...not so little that i am worried he's dehydrated or anything...but it's been pretty much since he got sick at 6 mo...he's peed significantly less...it's just weird...and even MIL brought it up without my provocation - so i know i'm not dreaming - TMI : the hole on his penis seems really small and low. If that even makes any sense.

Also, I brought up reflux since it HAS bothered him before enough for medication - he's no longer spitting up, but I think it IS bothering him..keeping him up at night...keeping him irritable.

So...ped...all on his own - without any information from me....decides that his sleeping...is basically my fault. He said that he's waking up ..a bazillion times a night just so that i have to go pick him up...and that I need to get him to sleep through the night so that he doesn't have to 'see mommy like that'....and he said that when i have to get up with drake at 3am, i'm tense..frustrated and angry - according to the ped...and drake doesn't need to see me like that..because he doesn't understand why mommy is like that. ???? I don't know WHAT gave him THAT idea...because I've never been "that" way with Drake...like he's saying that I'm aggressive and jerky with him because i'm angry that he's waking? By 9mo, I'm pretty darn used to having to get up 8 million times in the middle of the night and i'm no longer frustrated by it. Or whatever. I'm definitely exhausted and I do sincerely wish Drake would sleep through the night..but in no way, shape, or form am I angry with him or anything like that.

Ped said that I need to let Drake know that I won't just go get him whenever he cries.... :banghead: I HONESTLY...in my heart of hearts...and in my motherly gut...do NOT believe that he's doing this just to be a little turd. I believe that it's either 1) reflux, 2) sleep crawling, or 3) personality - meaning, he has trouble sleeping (i do too and not just because of the kids) or he just doesn't NEED that much sleep...or he NEEDS mommy...WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE....i don't think he's doing it just to be disagreeable.

Ped said that in his 36 yrs of experience, he's never met a disagreeable/difficult 9 month old...and that "this is as good as it gets"...meaning...(in his words), by 9 mo...the baby should have calmed to a point of being easily satisfied and will only increase in energy and activity....and he said that a 9 month old should NOT be hyper and incredibly active (btw, I think he's full of ****)....he said that if THIS is as good as it's going to get for me, I'm in for it.

He also went on to say that I needed to see counsel or a medical professional for meds for depression...he says that I'm stressed and projecting that on to drake and making him the way he is...he actually said that my life sucked! Granted, I'm not exactly the happiest I could be...but the doc actually said, "Yea, you can say, your life sucks!"

WTF? Ok....he also...actually prescribed an antihistamine (like benadryl but a lot stronger)...to make drake sleep! He said I need to fix this now or it's only going to get worse...UGH...he completely refused to acknowledge that it COULD be reflux..and something WRONG that's waking him up...his answer? Drug the baby. Uhm, NO. He wants us to go back in 1mo because he "really does want to help" me. Yeah.

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Oh, he also said that Drake has figured out that in the middle of the night is a great time to play with Mommy.....so I guess that's why he passes out as soon as I pick him up?? That doesn't happen every time, but we certainly don't play! We either go get on the couch or in the recliner...and sit in the dark...most of the time, he's asleep within 30 min. Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter...but we're never playing. He's usually TRYING to fall asleep..ya know, like laying there with eyes closed but not asleep...or laying there and just staring at the ceiling like he can't fall asleep...


UGGGGHHHH...gotta run, dh needs a towel for toddler...can't re-read, but i hope it makes sense.

CMamma 05-30-2006 05:33 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
Ok first of all tell your ped to go to he&!

Ped said that in his 36 yrs of experience, he's never met a disagreeable/difficult 9 month old...and that "this is as good as it gets"...meaning...(in his words), by 9 mo...the baby should have calmed to a point of being easily satisfied and will only increase in energy and activity....and he said that a 9 month old should NOT be hyper and incredibly active (btw, I think he's full of ****)....he said that if THIS is as good as it's going to get for me, I'm in for it.

He also went on to say that I needed to see counsel or a medical professional for meds for depression...he says that I'm stressed and projecting that on to drake and making him the way he is...he actually said that my life sucked! Granted, I'm not exactly the happiest I could be...but the doc actually said, "Yea, you can say, your life sucks!"

OK so now he's a shrink and from all the time you've seen him at baby check ups he's qualified to say this to you?


WTF? Ok....he also...actually prescribed an antihistamine (like benadryl but a lot stronger)...to make drake sleep! He said I need to fix this now or it's only going to get worse...UGH...he completely refused to acknowledge that it COULD be reflux..and something WRONG that's waking him up...his answer? Drug the baby. Uhm, NO. He wants us to go back in 1mo because he "really does want to help" me. Yeah.


This is crap too. You aren't supposed to just treat symptoms esp in a baby.. you need to find the cause!

Find a new ped. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh this ticks me off!

:hugs:

rowynne 05-30-2006 05:40 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
FIND A NEW DR!!!!!

SheilaJoy 05-30-2006 05:46 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
This is why I avoid drs. :dontlikeit: :lemmeathim:

Fuzzi Fannies Creations 05-30-2006 05:51 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
WHAT THE HECK!! You DEF need a new doctor!!! I WOULD NOT put up with that!! SOOO Sorry mama.. my dd was that way at 9 mo.. my fix was just to sleep with her.. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

allycat 05-30-2006 05:51 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
Find a new doctor. He is completely unprofessional and rude!! That is uncalled for!! I hate doctors. They think they know everything, but then don't help or listen. Believe me, I'm still dealing with them after 10 months of fighting with them. They think we are so dumb!! I avoid at all costs.:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

So sorry you had to deal with this. It is for sure not you or your son and he should have listened to your concerns! Drugs are not the solution, for sure!!

BTW, I think that it can be totally normal for babies that age to wake up tons. Read Dr. Sears book or go online and check out his advice on sleep, very helpful. Also check out the no cry sleep solution. My son has reflux and he did wake a lot until he was around 2. There are wedges that can be bought for reflux to help night waking.

Alison

Carrie 05-30-2006 06:07 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
I'm completely baffled by what he said about 9 month olds. My babies were very challenging at 9 months. "Easily satisfied" is not a phrase I would have used. It wasn't until they started walking at almost 15 months that their needs were more easily met.

In many ways I agree with the philosophy that babies should be left alone to sleep at night. That is what has worked for us--seeing us at night never calmed them down and it was quite the opposite. But if he has reflux or just needs mommy you should follow your instincts. He has no right to be patronizing. ETA I mean the doc, not you DS!

If you are really worried about the urination/penis issues maybe you can see another ped or specialist for it? My babies are light wetters and their wetting decreased quite a bit when they started solids, which makes sense to me. Did that coincide with the 6 month illness? E and R are identical twins but their penises are differently shaped (Ethan's has a bigger "head" :blush:) so I think some variation there is normal, too. Anyway :hugs: to you--he sounds like a very "sucky" doctor.

akrab 05-30-2006 06:08 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
PLEASE find a new Dr!!! This is the most upsetting ridiculous advice I have EVER read!!! PLEASE follow your mothers intuition and get another Dr :(

MamaZ 05-30-2006 06:10 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
Definitely find a new ped! That is crazy! That's one thing I like about my ped, he wants to avoid meds at all way possible and wants to look into what the causes are. That's crazy. I'm sorry mama that you had a rough appointment. I'd start looking for a new ped right away :hugs:

SandyG 05-30-2006 06:13 PM

Re: Ped appt left me in tears..hmph
 
yes mommy knows best
get another dr definitely


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