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aubreyaks 08-06-2010 04:06 PM

she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
My husband's Uncle's girlfriend (They're in their 40s) recently attacked me publicly on Facebook, telling me that I need to "let others hold my baby" and to just "RELAX and LET him have Pampers." I've seen a lot of the threads on here with Mamas who put up with crap from the extended family, so I know I'm not alone here. I am still just irritated to heck though. I want to slap her.
I think the real issue is she doesn't want me to steal her free babysitter. Hubby's grandma currently watches her kid after school, but volunteered to watch my baby when I head back to part time teaching in the fall. She's made such a royal stink about it, I am considering quitting my job. I only agreed to go back because I would have someone I trusted watching DS. I don't want him exposed to this woman though (there's more to the story, but trying to keep it short here). Grandma still plans to watch the ittle girl in the afternoon and I am afraid that the overlap in time will put DS in an unsafe position, not because I am worried someone will put a sposie on him or hold him @.@ but the aunt is an alcoholic and the fact she would attack me like that in a public forum makes me uncomfortable. I don't think the Grandma would be willing to choose between the two kids, but I am not willing to put my kid at risk. Anyone have ideas of where I could find suitable AP style childcare? I am being paid about 15k for teaching this year, so I can't afford much. This just really stinks.

TofuScramble 08-06-2010 04:16 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
respond to her and say "RELAX, focus on yourself and don't worry about my baby."


I really hope you find the kind of childcare you're looking for. I don't have much advice, but you could put in classified ads and title it "Seeking AP style childcare"... if they know what AP is, then your baby may be in good hands :goodvibes: it is hard though.. I always hated looking for a sitter for my kids when I needed one.

Good luck Mama!

Leah52 08-06-2010 04:18 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
Sounds like someone has seen too many of those new Pampers ads that imply babies are only happy and comforted when they are wiped and diped by Pampers products.

Fairycat 08-06-2010 04:19 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
Why do you have them on your facebook?? That stuff is why I limit family on my Facebook. She is so far off. The rest is your own decision to make you have to decide if the posibility of her effecting your Grandmother and her listening to your choices while watching your DS. Good luck.

aylasmommy 08-06-2010 04:21 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
Oh mama I don't have any advice. I just want to give you hugs. I know what it's like to deal with alcoholic family.

aubreyaks 08-06-2010 04:33 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
She's not even close family. Technically not family at all. I always thought she was sweet until this happened. There was ONE occasion I suspect she is referring to when DS was 6 weeks old. Family party, I wouldn't let anyone hold him past 7pm. I told them ahead of time that that would be the case. She's the only one who seems to have a plm with it. It's not like it's a rule, that's just when DS started getting tired and fussy and wanting to nurse every 15 mins. He doesn't do that anymore now that he's almost 4months, but excuse me if I am not eager to pass my kid around just to have him cry and fuss because the one holding him isn't Mama. I also asked her to sit down before I let her hold him after other family members pressuring me to let her hold him. They all had held him and I was fine with that, but she smelled like booze so I was nervous. She and Uncle were supposed to be moving out of state, but recently changed their mind, so now the childcare is an issue and school starts in 2 weeks. If I can't find anyone, 15k is simply not worth it to put DS in anything but loving, safe, capable hands. Not that the grandmother isn't that and I feel bad to tell her no thanks, but my mommysense is going haywire, so I am gonna listen to that.

MCR 08-06-2010 04:42 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
I'd do the Relax yourself reply like the PP said, then if she keeps it up de friend her, so not worth the hassle.
As for the babysitting, I'd do it, somehow I doubt your GMIL would allow her to do anything with the baby and like you said it's only an overlap time of how long? an hour maybe? or less. I doubt she'll be rushing over to pick up so she can see the baby.
She thinks she knows it all 'cause she already has a baby :yuck:

Designsbybequi 08-06-2010 04:48 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
I didn't let anyone touch my kids either, especially my first. I even went and took my daughter out of someone's arms one time, because he was freaking her out and she started crying. I sure got criticized because 'I need to let her cry it out and get comfortable with other people" according to them. Anyway, my kids come first and I'll take what I need to take to keep them safe. And I do believe kids can feel things and are sensitive so maybe this man was a weirdo. I'd rather be safer than sorry.
And, one Pampers diaper just gave my friend's son a blister on his genitals!!! She got a free sample and used it and now he can't sleep, is very miserable and this chemical burn blister is taking forever to go away. I hear many moms have called Pampers with the same complaint and they aren't doing much about it, so definitely stear clear from Pampers. Use Huggies Pure and Natural if you have too. Anway, this lady has major problems. Finding a sitter, if you go to church, you could ask there. Ask the Sunday school teachers if they sit or know of anyone. Call a preschool you like for any references or sitters. Ask all your friends if they know of any stay at home moms who could watch your child in their home or yours. A lot of time they are a lot cheaper and happy to be able to make some money while bringing their kids. Make sure their kids are good and not bratty or hitting type kids. If you go to the YMCA, you could ask the childcare worker there if they sit or know of anyone. Nanny agencies usually cost a lot! Good luck!

nakedbabytoes 08-06-2010 04:55 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
Try your local Craigslist under "childcare", Church bulliten board, grocery store bulletin board, or newspaper. There's quite a few SAHMs that are looking for some extra cash & a playmate for their child or small daycares like mine that do AP/UP stuff.
Don't give up! But don't put yourself in an uncomfortable spot with your family either.
Hugs mama!

foxygoober 08-06-2010 06:05 PM

Re: she told me to just RELAX and let him have Pampers.
Urgh! It drives me crazy when people wont give me my kids when they are crying!!! I'm the mama, making my kids feel better is part of my job!!!

Anyhow, I would talk with grandma and see if she can really handle both at the same time. Make sure grandma knows that you don't want the lady around your baby. . .How likely is it though that the lady would be picking her child up before you pick up the baby?

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