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-   -   Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1068350)

TeachinAuntie 09-08-2010 10:15 AM

Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
...it caused a male visitor to have unpure thoughts. My female pastor just called to ask me 2 favors.

First, could I pass out informational postcards about our new, young adult oriented church at my breastfeeding support group on Monday.

Second, would I mind using a nursing cover or going to a private room to nurse.

A little background, we are considered leaders in my church. It's very new and we already have about 80 in attendees weekly.

My husband and I have been "founders" of the church since before it WAS a church.

I have been nursing my son in church his entire life. This happened 2 weeks ago.

The man emailed the pastor, embarrassed, and told her that he was basically turned on, by seeing me nurse w/o a cover. (I wear a tucked in tank, and use my top shirt pulled down to cover from the top. Luke's body & blanket cover from the bottom. VERY little is exposed.)

ETA: I was nursing in the LOBBY, well after the service was over. It was our first weekend in a new building & I was waiting on DH to finish packing up the equipment. But, normally, it's nothing for me to nurse in church too!

I told her that using a cover is not an option, since Luke can pull those off of me & then I'd be completely exposed (bc I cannot juggle the shirt/cover thing & then a hooter-hider too).

Her suggestion was to either nurse before or after church (not optional), or use laptops to do a Skype convo & nurse in a private room, so I can still hear/see church.

I'm not sure how I feel. But, I definitely feel offended, violated, and bad.

JennTheMomma 09-08-2010 10:16 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
I'd inform the pastor that that is the male's problem not yours. Maybe he should seek some counseling.

Prettylocks 09-08-2010 10:18 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
Whatcha gonna do?

vintagegyrl 09-08-2010 10:20 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
interesting that he is using your BF support group as a marketing tool but asked you not to publicly nurse....
Kind of low if u ask me!

vintagegyrl 09-08-2010 10:21 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
interesting that he is using your BF support group as a marketing tool but asked you not to publicly nurse....
Kind of low if u ask me!

TeachinAuntie 09-08-2010 10:24 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by vintagegyrl (Post 11173435)
interesting that he is using your BF support group as a marketing tool but asked you not to publicly nurse....
Kind of low if u ask me!

It's a female pastor, BUT, that's exactly what I thought!

What is she going to do if the whole group shows up & we're all pretty crunchy & they all start nursing during service??? (Cause that's what I'm tempted to do! Ask them to stage a nurse-in!)

Janine 09-08-2010 10:24 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JennTheMomma (Post 11173384)
I'd inform the pastor that that is the male's problem not yours. Maybe he should seek some counseling.

Seriously! I mean you are doing NOTHING wrong. If this man can't keep his own thoughts in check, then that is his issue. He should take himself out of the situation by sitting somewhere else or, you know, just not staring at you. You are not responsible for someone else's dirty mind and lack of self-control. Not trying to be harsh, but I find this kind of thing appalling. I can't stand women being blamed all the time for men not being able to keep their minds out of the gutter.

hilaryisinked 09-08-2010 10:25 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
I agree that this is that male's problem and not yours. The pastors need to approach him for some counseling as to why a woman feeding her baby turns him on and they should also suggest him watching church from another room because there could be other women who may choose to nurse in church. A group should not be punished because of one individual.

Also, no one is responsible for our sins (our meaning Christians) except for us. He needs to get away from the thing that is causing him to sin instead of expecting others to fix things for him. If he had a problem looking at dirty images on the internet should he expect someone to remove every dirty site or should he put away his computer and work on his issue?

Clare378 09-08-2010 10:26 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
Here's what you do:
1. Open Google
2. Type the words "Mary Jesus breastfeeding"
3. Click Search
4. At the top left, click "images"
5. Save a few to your computer
6. Email a few of the pictures to your pastor and ask which one would be appropriate

P.S. If you find one in which Mary's wearing a hooter-hider, please let me know.

swedishmaiden 09-08-2010 10:26 AM

Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
 
I'm a Christian and attend a fairly conservative church, but I have never had issues with breastfeeding in church. There are several other nursing moms who also nurse in church, some with a cover and some without. I think I would probably kindly refuse. I would try to be discreet and not reveal myself very much, which it sounds like you are already doing, but a mother should be able to feed her baby in God's house. He's the one who created breasts for nursing! A man who is "turned on" by that small amount of exposure has issues. What is he going to say about all the cleavage he sees? I'm sure not all female church members are wearing high-collared shirts. His problem should not become yours. And honestly, he probably was just feeling awkward because people aren't used to seeing someone breastfeed. That's why it is IMPORTANT to me that I nurse in public. I want to promote breastfeeding as a natural, healthy thing. People shouldn't have to feel embarrassed about it.

And I think it was tacky for her to ask you to use your BF'ing group to promote your church and at the same time make a request that you nurse elsewhere.


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