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-   -   "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?" (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1099012)

jennym91005 10-26-2010 11:39 AM

"but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
so, my son has been asking this recently. today i told him that when a mommy and a daddy love eachother very much, they do a special kind of hug, and he puts a baby in the mommy's tummy. well now hes wanting to know HOW the baby gets in there. he is very smart and VERY inquisitive, basic answers do not satisfy him... i told him that i wasnt sure how to answer him, and i would let him know when i figured it out... hes def gonna be asking me again. what do i tell him??
thanks, jen

oh, and he told me that he wants to do a special hug with me... i told him he couldnt b/c only a husband and wife can do it (he knows what a husband and wife are). he told me he wants me to be his wife, but i told him that i couldnt be his wife b/c i was his mommy. did i answer this correctly???

ktmelody 10-26-2010 12:07 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Is he 4?

we told our children that daddys/grown ups penis's have seeds in them and mommies have eggs in their tummys and that daddy puts the seeds into where mommies eggs are and it makes a baby. We told them that when mommies and daddys are married they get to make babies. That it is something that 2 people who love each other do.

HTH!

jennym91005 10-26-2010 12:13 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ktmelody (Post 11526344)
Is he 4?

we told our children that daddys/grown ups penis's have seeds in them and mommies have eggs in their tummys and that daddy puts the seeds into where mommies eggs are and it makes a baby. We told them that when mommies and daddys are married they get to make babies. That it is something that 2 people who love each other do.

HTH!

lol, yeah he is 4. is this a normal 4 year old thing??

this sounds like a good way to explain it. now if he asks how the seeds get in there, what do i say? he asks A LOT of questions...

see my friend says that she thinks is a kid knows stuff about sex/ sexual body parts, people may think hes being sexually abused... i didnt think so until she said this, now im kinda nervous to tell him a lot.

musicalisa 10-26-2010 12:16 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jennym91005 (Post 11526073)
he told me he wants me to be his wife, but i told him that i couldnt be his wife b/c i was his mommy. did i answer this correctly???

Awwww! :giggle2: Yes, you handled it just perfectly. Kids are adorable this way.

I think you can be as honest with him as you are comfortable. If you don't want to have the big "birds and bees" talk with him (for which I wouldn't blame you; my 7 year-old hasn't asked yet) ,you can always tell him that it's something you guys will talk about more when he's older.

mommy2abigail 10-26-2010 12:18 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
When my 5 year old asked that, I was pretty honest with her. Then again, she's seen both of her sisters born at home, so 'private parts' aren't a big deal around here. I told her that daddies have sperm in their testes and they put it into the mommies and it swims to meet an egg and they go into the uterus where the baby grows. I think I even got a picture book that showed a (drawing of) penis inside the vagina and the sperm swimming out. It was geared to children, but I can't remember what it was called. :headscratch: It was about different systems of the body, nervous, reproductive, skeleton, muscular, ect. I didn't want to tell her a lie or mistruth about it, while at the same time keeping in mind how old she was and how much information she was able to handle and how much information she actually wanted anyway. I don't want her to think the body or reproducing or having babies is gross or dirty, so we treat it as a beautiful thing. We use the real terms for everything, we are honest and open with her and so far, she isn't ruined or anything, in fact, she views birth, menstruating, breastfeeding, ect. all as God intended them to be, natural and normal.

If you aren't comfortable going that far, you could resort to my trick for getting around answering those questions...you could turn it around and ask what they think. Sometimes it gives you a bit of time to decide just how to answer, and sometimes it distracts them enough that they forget they asked you first!:giggle:

mommy2abigail 10-26-2010 12:22 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Oh and as far as the 'wife' thing, I wouldn't worry about it. My dd has wanted to marry her daddy, me, her cousin, and her best friend. Their love is innocent, and has no sexual innuendo at all. They just know married people love each other, so anyone they love can be a candidate! :giggle: We've played wedding lots of times. I don't feel the need to go into why certain people can't get married, she'll figure it out later. Right now it's just innocent play, like how she pretends to birth her dolls in the tub. :giggle:

ktmelody 10-26-2010 12:23 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jennym91005 (Post 11526407)
lol, yeah he is 4. is this a normal 4 year old thing??

this sounds like a good way to explain it. now if he asks how the seeds get in there, what do i say? he asks A LOT of questions...

see my friend says that she thinks is a kid knows stuff about sex/ sexual body parts, people may think hes being sexually abused... i didnt think so until she said this, now im kinda nervous to tell him a lot.

No, thats just stupid....He is not being abused and that is normal behavior.

If he asks how they get there tell him that grown men, like his father, make the seeds in their testicles and someday when he is grown and ready to have a wife and make babies he will make seeds too. Tell him that he is too young to make seeds and have a wife and someday he will be ready to. :goodvibes:

All my kids have asked around that age because I have been pregnant a lot. So we answer the best we can. I use the word seed and egg because its easy for a child to visualize over the word sperm...my son asked what the seeds look like and we told him that they look like baby tadpoles and we showed him a picture of tadpoles..:giggle2: That was all it took.

Cathypie 10-26-2010 12:25 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jennym91005 (Post 11526407)
see my friend says that she thinks is a kid knows stuff about sex/ sexual body parts, people may think hes being sexually abused... i didnt think so until she said this, now im kinda nervous to tell him a lot.

that's just silly. IMO a parent needs to give the most age appropriate, honest answer they can come up with. he already knows what a penis is so i think telling him that adult penises make seeds that he puts in to mommy during a special hug is great. i think it's important to create a trust early.

taylor's mom 10-26-2010 12:27 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
my dd is just shy of 5 and surprisingly that's one of the few questions she hasn't asked. i've tried to figure out what i'll tell her when she finally does because i don't want to be caught off guard. i think first i would ask how he thinks daddy gets the baby in there. i find that sometimes that's the safest way to guage what info my dd already has and kind of get to the bottom of what she's really asking so that i don't give her more info than she was looking for. i can also correct misinformation that way too. (and of course it gives me a few minutes of stall time to formulate an answer, lol). i *think* that at this point, my dd would be satisfied with the explanation of mommies and daddies sharing a special sort of snuggle that helps a baby start growing in the mama's uterus. if she wantde more info though, i don't think i'd have any issue with explaining the whole penis has seeds and mama has eggs thing. she was asking something at one of my last prenatal appts, don't remember exactly what now, ad i had explained that all girls have eggs in their bodies that can someday be babies. her response was "gross...you're disgusting" , so i'm thinking she's not there yet :giggle: . i did make sur eto explain to her that there is nothing disgusting at all about babies growing from eggs.
depending on whether you want to go the more religious route, you could explain that God helps the egg and seed grow into a baby. while we were ttc #2, we went thru 2ndary infertility as well as recurrent losses, and dd kept asking for a baby brother or sister. (she wasn't aware of what we were going thru to get one, just decided it was the right time for her). we sat her down and explained it as that God was looking for the right baby for our family...also helped when said baby was NOT in fact the sister she so desired, but a brother instead :)

issybissy 10-26-2010 12:40 PM

Re: "but HOW did daddy put the baby in your tummy?"
 
my son asks this too, he is 3.5 and he also said he is married to me! lol. i think its cute that he thinks we are married...i also tell him that i am mommy and dadddy is daddy. ds is just our baby and he was in my "tummy", just like his little sister was. (he knows she was in my tummy because he saw me pregnant, but he doesnt think he was in there lol!)
anyhow, when he asked how she got in my tummy, i told him that God put her in there and when she is big enough, she will come out. if she is too tiny that i cant protect her. while dd was in my tummy, God was protecting her from the outside sun and rain.

i know its not too good of an explanation, but i really didnt need him talking about testes and penis's at the next family gathering (its kind of taboo to talk about in public in our extended fam, lol...so everyone may be appalled!) anyhow, he def talked about dd in my tummy to m y family...he went on and on about god protecting her and everything! imagine if i had told him the real story!


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