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-   -   I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1138795)

meganne79 01-11-2011 08:43 PM

I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
Hi mamas,
I'm a big giant mess lately and think I may be depressed. I had pretty severe PPD with both girls so I didn't expect it until after I delivered but sure seem to be headed that way. Is anyone else dealing with depression in their pregnancy?

I'm not one to take medications of any kind while pregnant so I likely won't do that but am probably going to schedule an appointment with my midwife to see what she thinks. I just wish I knew how to make myself feel better. This pregnancy was planned and I am excited but just can't seem to be happy about much else. We moved in August and I miss my friends, home, and town so much I can barely stand it. Ironically we moved closer to family, which I love, so you'd think I'd be happier. These stupid placenta issues are not helping as I can barely leave my house. I just feel so incredibly isolated and lonely. I'm not sure how that is going to get any better with 3 kids...

I'm not always a "grass is always greener" person but man I miss my life before we moved! I wish I could rewind as it was my "decision" for lack of a better word to move. We lived in a tiny house that would have been really tough for a family of 5 (it was for just the 4 of us) but I'd sure find a way to make it work now.

Thanks for listening!

Salidwyn 01-11-2011 09:42 PM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
I moved to PA from MI in the beginning of July, got married the 17th of July and conceived this little one in the beginning of September. I have some friends out here (SIL, DH's BF's fiance, and a few others) but no one in this state that I'm really CLOSE to either. There is NO ONE in this state that I feel like I can really open up to and talk to, so I completely understand your feelings of being lonely and isolated. I've had more than a few blue days (months) but nothing that I've felt was bad enough to really make me think I was seriously depressed. More just alone. That kind of sounds like what you're going through to some degree as well.

I can't say everything is peachy now and it's not an issue because it still is. I still don't have anyone that I feel like I can trust, especially after having a super-protective-of-this-bean-and-totally-overwhelmed-with-that anxiety attack last week, but DH and I have been trying to work on that. I could have hugged my OB today since she was so supportive and comforting earlier today. I think, if nothing else, he's starting to realize that I WILL get my way in the end but my reasons for feeling the way I do are pretty sound, so he's not completely and totally opposed to as much as he was 3+ months ago. We're shopping around for a doula, which I'm thinking is going to do nothing but good since I'll be able to find someone I can count on and trust who actually understands and respects what I want from this pregnancy and birth. I'm still contemplating placenta encapsulation, since I'm still really wary of the hospital birth and all that entails, and think that might help if/when things don't go in a way that I feel comfortable with.

One thing that I can say has helped a lot has been knitting. I'm not sure if you knit or not but it's been very calming and relaxing, with the added bonus of being able to completely lose myself in it for a while and not think about everything that's been bothering or worrying me. I know you already have two little ones so I'm not sure if there's something similar that you could get a chance to do, but it's really helped me a lot. Plus, I get to make baby stuff, which is helping me really focus on this little one and gives me the drive to get through some days as positively as possible.

Hugs mama! You are not alone at all, even if it's just with all of us here. I love this DDC and how supportive everyone has been so far and that's made a huge difference for me personally. Things will start looking up soon and every single day brings us all a little bit closer to seeing our little ones on the way!

jacobsmommy924 01-11-2011 10:00 PM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
I never really understood depression until I was pregnant with my daughter. I think I was severely depressed. It was to the point of having complete melt downs over nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had no idea why I was crying and I couldn't stop. Like you, I felt isolated and all alone-- which was far from the actual truth, but how I felt nonetheless.

I couldn't understand why I felt that way. I didn't think you could get depression while pregnant, though I knew plenty of women suffer PPD.

Big :hugs: to you mama. My depression lasted the first and a little of the second trimester. Hopefully it is just something that will pass soon.

Julesboch 01-12-2011 02:53 AM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
:bighug: Mama that has to be tough!

We moved in August but only 45 minutes from our last home and it feels like a world away! I thought I had a group of tight knit friends but since moving I feel like they have all moved on and forgotten I exist. Also I have found no one here I can really talk to and really have no one to depend on. I am terrified of giving birth since I really don't have anyone I feel could watch my girls or be in the delivery room with me.

I wanted to do an elective induction so that my mom could be here but unfortunately the OB will not permit it:cry:. I just feel stuck and alone and with DH deploying I can only imagine it will get worse. I am so scared that this slight feeling of isolation will only get worse. Sure I have a few people at school I can talk to but no one that I would call "close".

SS mama I really hope the OB can give you some support and reassurance. I was on bed rest for 14 wks with YDD and I was living with family but I still always felt lonely since no one could really relate to me. PM me if you need to talk:hugs:

Mama4Ways 01-12-2011 10:29 AM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
I would quickly say that depression is a metabolic disorder where the brain doesnt function like it should. The problem with dealing with it and accepting it, in my opinion, is the stigma that MENTAL ILLNESS brings.

No one blinks an eye with gestational diabetes. It happens, and you need to medically manage it. Some mamas go on insulin for the duration of the pregnancy. Big deal, right?

But OMG!! Depression! That means you are crazy!!!!

Feh.

I have diabetes when Im not pregnant. When I am pregnant, my insulin use goes way up, and its a lot harder to keep my sugars regulated. I have to be watched closely to monitor my sugars and fetal growth and other complications. Its just what has to happen to make sure I am healthy and the pregnancy is as healthy as it can be. I do what needs to get done and dont feel any shame or inadequacy.

I also have clinical depression on a daily basis, pregnant or not. I am on SSRI medication for it. It works BEAUTIFULLY and my brain has the chemical support so it can do what it needs. My father took the same medication until he died. My mother is on it. My 18 year old son is on it. Chances are some of my other bio kids will need it as they grow up. For us, who all have genetic propensities for biochemical depression, it is a godsend. I had to add a medication whenever I am pregnant, and need to manage PPD pretty intensely. And when the hormone gush is over, I go right back to being fully functional on a regular dose of my antidepressant.

I am also not ashamed of having depression, and do whatever it takes to manage it. I HAVE to. Its a medical condition that pregnancy influences.

Now, not everyone needs medication for diabetes or depression, whether they are pregnant or not. Sometimes it is a necessity.

My advice--be VERY open with your OB and get some resources--if its just reassurance that you are doing ok to getting a referral for someone else to medication if you need it.

Good luck! Really. Depression is tough to deal with, especially becasue of the stigma we and others attach to it.

mich*mommy 01-12-2011 10:38 AM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama4Ways (Post 12027278)
The problem with dealing with it and accepting it, in my opinion, is the stigma that MENTAL ILLNESS brings.

No one blinks an eye with gestational diabetes. It happens, and you need to medically manage it. Some mamas go on insulin for the duration of the pregnancy. Big deal, right?

But OMG!! Depression! That means you are crazy!!!!

Good luck! Really. Depression is tough to deal with, especially becasue of the stigma we and others attach to it.

:werd:

Seriously.

meganne79 01-27-2011 09:30 AM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
I just wanted to thank you mamas for your replies! I appreciate it more than you can know. I'm not doing much better so I'm definitely going to bring this up with my midwife next week.

Salidwyn 01-27-2011 10:41 AM

Re: I'm a big mess, depression in pregnancy?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by meganne79 (Post 12149091)
I just wanted to thank you mamas for your replies! I appreciate it more than you can know. I'm not doing much better so I'm definitely going to bring this up with my midwife next week.

:bighug: I'm sure she can help you out with this and you and your little one will be better off for it. Wishing you the best and sending lots of love and good thoughts your way!


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