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-   -   Discipline? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1187729)

CutiePatootiesMama 04-01-2011 09:33 PM

Discipline?
 
I'm NOT talking about or wanting to debate physical discipline. But. At what age did you start practicing discipline with your child? Teaching them no, teaching them how to work through emotions/frustration? I'm asking bc tonight I was trying to eat dinner and my (almost)8mo dd whined whenever I was not paying attn to her. It made me think that whenever she even whimpers I immediately jump to her aid. I can't do this forever and it won't teach her anything good. So I'm just looking for suggestions on when to start discipline and ...redirection if you will? Teaching your child to be independent and work through being upset on their own. How did you do it?I hope this makes sense! :)

justineybean 04-01-2011 09:42 PM

Re: Discipline?
 
I bet you are helping her learn to work through upsetting situations without even knowing it - by not always letting her have what she wants and telling her no when she is trying to put something in her mouth that is not safe; by making her get into the car seat or grocery cart when she doesn't want to. I think it's okay to give her attention when she asks for it at this age. You can give her your attention while you're eating and maybe try redirecting or distracting her to play with a toy or babble with you. She will know that you aren't going to pick her up and play on the floor with her until you're done eating. See? Again, you are telling her things about being independent without realizing it. I'm sure you're doing great!

CutiePatootiesMama 04-01-2011 09:46 PM

Thanks! :) just so I don't sound crazy- I am not planning to start disciplining her right away. I just want to be prepared bc I can totally see myself babying her until she's 18. And that would NOT be good! Haha! Today I just realized that I have no plan as to how/when to start :) but you're right I was not thinking of the practical "every day" things.

justineybean 04-01-2011 09:54 PM

Re: Discipline?
 
Oh you don't sound crazy - I know you weren't going to put your 8 month old in timeout or anything! ;) I think it's good of you to recognize early that you have to set some limits. I have a hard time really thinking back to when I started "discipline." Honestly, I think you will intuitively figure things out as she gets older. The best thing I learned about discipline is just to pick my battles. I try not to give in, but I do compromise by giving choices (my DS is almost 3) and of course, certain things are absolutely not acceptable.

pcjs 04-01-2011 10:53 PM

Re: Discipline?
 
When he was born. :) Smart girl!! Its interesting how early they figure things out and know what to do based on the person to get attention. We have so much fun just watching our son do his thing. (We have to leave the room or turn our head and just laugh after saying something to him as its just so funny and he thinks he's so cleaver and the first child to do it).

I was able to put a stop to the throwing food at that age and sippy's and pacifiers and all kinds of stuff. My mom was amazed today as he chewed some food, didn't want it (I think it was too hard to chew) and just handed it to me and he hands me his fork, sippy, etc no problem but we absolutely started at that age. Once you get one behavior solved, not to worry, they come up with something new.

My son recently started saying ut ah (not sure how to spell it) and my husband was trying to figure out what he was saying and it then dawned on me that is what I say to him, especially when we are out and about and we just had to die laughing when he kept repeating it (he wasn't using it for anything but just repeating it). I guess he heard me loud and clear.

CutiePatootiesMama 04-01-2011 10:59 PM

Hehe :)
That is great! I hope we can start teaching dd some good habits. There are things that I let slide because they're cute now since she's a baby, but when she's older and it isn't cute anymore it won't be fair to her that I didn't teach her right from the beginning.

pcjs 04-01-2011 11:05 PM

Re: Discipline?
 
Our approach is NOT to let anything slide from her age on up till later and once they have the boundaries down and limits it is much easier to do it now than to go back later and teach what is acceptable when they are also learning new things. My "hope" is that by the time he's preschool-elementary school-older he'll just no what we expect with reminders and it will be a non-issue. He still tests limits but he's 18 months and its his job (and it keeps us so entertained). But, we found at least with him/his personality it really worked as generally I can take him anywhere and within reason he's really good and easy (he gets cranky/tired but if I told someone that they think I'm crazy as he just starts smiling at them). I wouldn't let any of it "slide" but redirect to better behaviors and be really consistent with them (except it sucks when you are really tired but when you start relaxing up that's when we see the limit testing more). It it doesn't stop their happiness, self-esteem or any of that as I have happy boy to the extreme (so we are trying to figure out how to keep him that happy as its really neat). If she's smart enough to get your attention, she's smart enough to understand with showing her what behavior you want from her.

CutiePatootiesMama 04-01-2011 11:09 PM

Yeah my problem is definitely consistency! I have been so laid back about everything. I really need to step up. Any specific methods you used to teach him what was and was not acceptable?

pcjs 04-01-2011 11:23 PM

Re: Discipline?
 
I'm completely laid back and do keep being that way. :) People are surprised at how laid back I am and that's fine. I just say no, you are scaring the mama, absolutely not, or something else a few times and if it doesn't work, remove either the object or child from the situation. Give her some toys, a sippy cup (with water - I don't allow drinking water at that age but its to experiment with the sippy cup till they get it as its easier, breastmilk or formula) to play with - its a good age to start, food/cheerios while you are eating if she is done but keep her in the high chair till everyone within reason is done (it does work with practice - my son is funny as he now will start doing patty cake that my husband does with him to entertain himself as he knows he's not getting up). If she throws something, take it away for a minute, and tell her we don't throw XXX and then give it back and repeat over and over and over and over and over and over again. With food throwing, start to give small portions and one by one and just say the same thing that we don't throw food, and until you stop, you get one piece at a time.....its more consistency than anything and finding your own spin on it as something different works for everyone. Just say it in a slightly firmer voice (I've never had to "yell") so she knows you're serious. :) At that age, that's all we'd do and basically still do. On a slight tantrum, which we really don't have any, a few warnings and redirections and if he is really overboard, we put him in the pack and play for a minute or two till he stops crying (at 8 months she may not get it/connect but we still did it every once in a while). I just don't like using the pnp or crib as pnp I need when I shower, etc. and crib is for sleeping but when they are little its the only good containment. :) (in less someone has a better idea for me).

CutiePatootiesMama 04-01-2011 11:40 PM

Oh good! Those are things I can do easily. Thank you!! :)


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