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Zepp 05-16-2011 02:49 PM

your thoughts? kinda long..sorry
I was totally happy with my daycare provider until speaking with my coworker. Now I'm doubting myself and am wondering if I should just keep my son where he is, or if I should consider moving him. I'd love any advice.

So coworker, Jen, had her kids at the same place I did. I ended up leaving in November and went to a lady who was just opening up (the reason I left is a long story). Up until a few months ago, it was just my son (now 18 months) and someone else after the first few months. I've been very happy with her. She's Pakistani and feeds my son homemade food that he loves and her and her daughter dote on him like no other. She's cheap as far as cost and runs 24 hours if needed (I use her from 7ish-5ish m-f). She has a lot of toys, he's comfortable with her, etc. It's going well.

Jen dropped her kids off for one day last Thursday because the other provider took the day off. I asked her today about it and she said she was "choosing her words carefully". She said the kitchen was a huge mess (it's true it's not the cleanest, but that never bothered me a bunch), she had a prescription bottle on the counter, and that she said her kids had slept 2.5 hours, when her son (3) said they hadn't slept at all while he was there. They had a bad experience. I said it was probably because it was their first time there and they weren't use to while she was looking into moving her kids there full time, now she says no way.

So back to me. I am content with things, but is the kitchen thing a huge deal? Should I be more concerned? I could send ds to dd's soon to be ex-preschool (she's going to kinder), but it's more expensive ($400/month) and I was only thinking of moving him when he was a bit older, since I like now that he's in a home environment with homecooked food. The school is open to 18 months plus, which he just turned.

escapethevillage 05-16-2011 03:19 PM

Re: your thoughts? kinda long..sorry
So.. if you moved him now, he'd have three providers before age three?

Honestly, if she loves him, and he loves her, I think your friend is being snobby. A messy kitchen is not a deal breaker. A FILTHY kitchen is.

When my parents drop their kids off, the kitchen is kinda clean....but, full of daycare stuff, so it's cluttered. By the time they pick the kids up, my kitchen looks like I haven't done dishes in a month.

My kids all lay down for two hours. It's a two hour nap. If they sleep, great.. if not fine. But, they all had a two hour nap.

MW69842 05-16-2011 03:40 PM

Your friends perception may be off. If *you* have had NO problems, then I would not change.

My daughter will be 4 in July and I just changed DCP about a month ago. The difference in her (and subsequently, me) is night and day. She is napping again. She is not grouchy, tantruming or generally difficult to handle anymore. She *rarely* sits in time-outs anymore (here or @ the DCP's house) and before she sat there for the largest portion of her day.

My point being... a child will let you know when something isn't right. In the previous environment, something felt off and once I was pretty secure in what it was, I pulled her.

My importantly, if your provider loves your child, appreciate that. A lot of DCP just look at the kids they're caring for as income, I know my last one did. She couldn't have cared any less about my child. Her new provider and her husband adore her, it's obvious watching them interact.

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JeDeeLenae 05-16-2011 03:44 PM

Sounds like your friend just didn't click with her and the way she operates. Doesn't mean you should change if you like her.

Excuse the typos and nonsense. My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. :thumbsup:

Zepp 05-16-2011 03:59 PM

Re: your thoughts? kinda long..sorry
Thanks, I appreciate that. My old dc provider did start treating the kids like they weren't important to her anymore, which was one reason I left. I can tell with this one she does care and she's always asking about how he's doing.

MW69842 05-16-2011 04:07 PM

You most definitely want a provider to care about the kids they're watching. Kids can feel whether they're wanted/liked or not.

I am paying more now for child care (was paying $100/wk f/t flat-rate before vs $120/wk f/t flat-rate up to 45 hrs + $3/hr for every hr over 45/wk), but it is SO worth it.

Have you asked your DCP about the precription bottles? That's the only thing that'd concern me. I take a sheer ton of meds, but they're also locked up in a box on top of my refridge.

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nakedbabytoes 05-16-2011 04:35 PM

Re: your thoughts? kinda long..sorry
Maybe the bottle was empty and she left it out to remind her to call in a refill?
Could be many reasons.
I agree with PPs about the kitchen. At day's beginning, my kitchen is spotless. At day's end, horrid! Would you rather me be cleaning my kitchen or watching your child? The kids are my 100% top priority while they are in my care. I make no excuses for my priorities!
If she cares for your child well and she loves him, what more do you want? Don't let others decide for you what is best for your child. She had a 5 minute impression(and her kids didn't like it there for whatever reason, more than likely just because it was new). You have a longer impression. And it is favorable.
Now granted, I wouldn't take everything at face value, but if you trust her & she earned it, don't doubt yourself unless need be.

whirlwindwoman 05-16-2011 04:39 PM

Re: your thoughts? kinda long..sorry
Maybe she was standing next to the pill bottle?

Care is obvious and hard to find, and if things aren't unlivable, then I would let it go.

psylion 05-16-2011 04:48 PM

I don't think you should rush to move your kid because someone else feels uncomfortable. You might want to find out more about the prescription thing though and be more vigilant in general. It may be that there is no problem and your friend is being paranoid. It may also be that she is picking upon something you haven't. I wouldn't be overly concerned about the kitchen unless it was health hazard filthy though since the kids probably aren't actually spending time in it. Good luck. I hope everything works out for your family.

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MW69842 05-16-2011 04:57 PM

I'm not saying to inquire about what the provider is taking, but rather ask, if they're put up while the children are around. I know that pharmacies have child-proof caps, but any parent with a sly toddler can tell you how child-proof they aren't. ;)

Maybe it's my own paranoia, as I know my OWN meds could kill a child (or a person of any size, if taken in significant quantities) easily.

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