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-   -   I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh.. (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1248541)

Kissed by the Moon 07-21-2011 06:52 PM

I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I need some input, words of wisdom, encouragement, whatever. I've been going crazy the past few days and am a bit disheartened. We currently have two wonderful children, but both were premies, the last was born very early and was in the NICU for 3 months. DH has told me the past few months that if I want another, he's game. Well, after thinking about it, I do.

I saw my obygyn yesterday and she freaked me out with all the talk of dying while giving birth, having my baby die, needing a blood transfusion or hysterectomy. I guess I'm high risk, based on the fact thatI had two c sections and an inompetent cervix:headscratch: So if I did get pregnant I'd probably need bedrest and some other things.

I don't mind the bedrest, dh said he'd definitely help, but I am just really scared now. I would love another, but the thought of birth and possible complications in all directions freaks me out. I am terrified. I know the percentages aren't necessarily high, but with my extra risk factors, it goes up and so does the seriousness. *sigh*

stevensmom 07-21-2011 06:53 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
:hugs: I'm sorry your dr scared you :hugs:

Pampered Mama 07-21-2011 07:06 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I'd be finding a new Dr, personally. Because you know about the possibilit yof incompatent cervix, it can be monitored more closely and hopefully keep it from opening too soon, or at least minimizing it. 2 c/s I think is no more high risk than any other woman who has had 2 (myself included- and my mw does not consider me high risk- and is even encouraging me to vbac with my next)

To me, it sounds like you need a doctor or MW who works for you- not one who (IMO) is spouting scare tactics to make you compliant. If you want another baby, I feel it is there job to support youand help you make that come true, even if it means more work for them. You need a dr who is supportive- or if there is truely a life threatening reason why you should not get pg again, then they should discuss that with you, while laying out the pros and cons.

rosenfried2 07-21-2011 09:07 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I agree with both of the above.. if YOU and DH feel that your health would be at risk then maybe try a surrogate... but I would get a new doctor who will discuss all of it WITH you and be honest about how to proceed. Of course, you don't want your body to freak out if you are stressed all the time thinking of the negatives that could possibly happen during a pregnancy with an OB who isn't supportive... so it's a lot to consider. I would look into a Midwife who works with a supportive doctor. Good Luck!

MaBacon 07-21-2011 09:12 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I'm sorry but it sounds like you REALLY need a new dr. I'm very high risk too- had 4 preemies and 17 pregnancies with 19 babies and one was our daughter who had trisomy 18 and would die. I have an unknown clotting disorder- they just can't figure out which one that makes it tricky to figure out what meds I need to be on. Low progesterone, preterm labor that starts around 18wks for unknown reasons too, I've had pre-eclampsia with my 1st and pregnancy induced hypertension with all the others. Never once over the past 8 yrs did my OB try to scare me. She didn't sugar coat anything either. she just gave me the facts. Yes I have had 3 c/s. I was at higher risk for rupture. Add that to my PTL and we knew my goal was no longer than 35wks and we'd deliver. We laid out a game plan and she kept up on the current research into what we could do to help.

We decided to put me on mod. bedrest starting at 10wks and it gradually turned into full by 20wks. I was put on procardia to help my blood pressure and contractions, we did 17p injections with DS2 to help keep him in longer (they are very effective for almost everyone, just not me. I've had several friends deliver preemies - even micro preemies and go on to have full term next pg). We hooked me up to a home contraction monitor 2x a day starting at 24wks and every time they went over the threshold, I went to the hospital for terb shots. And if needed mag drip. I was on weekly apts from 10wks on and weekly ultrasounds from 14wks on. At 18wks we added in weekly ultrasounds to keep an eye on my cervix length because once it starts to shrink I usually deliver within a week or so. Yes it can be scary. But it all worked! I kept all my babies in until 34wks when they wanted to come much earlier. Never once did my OB say that I might die (yes anyone can die during childbirth, even low risk-homebirth moms). But I was encouraged to have my OB keep an watchful eye on me and I was encouraged to call and come get checked out anytime I thought something was 'off'. My OB never turned me away, all the nurses and other dr's knew my case some (my ob told them about it) and that way they were prepared too if I came in on a day she wasn't there.

For you I'd find a new dr and set up a game plan. You know you are going to have IC, so they can monitor it weekly or every other week with ultrasounds. I'm not sure why you were on bedrest but if it was for preterm labor there is a lot of things they can do to help out.

Having a dr you feel comfortable with is key. Perhaps look into a high risk dr and set up a consult. You should not feel scared because of what your dr said to you about having another baby. Heck for us my OB was scared for us, we had decided to get my one tube that is left tied with our last baby. The night she said we were delivering him DH and I were suddenly not sure. She looked at me and said she wouldn't do it if she was in our shoes. We weren't ready and she said if we wanted to ever have another baby, she would help us even if it is risky. So we didn't get the tubal. And I'm very thankful for that. If you have any questions about what to ask a new dr about procedures you can do to help make it farther I'd be happy to help.

Oh and on a side note, One of my friends had micro preemie twins- they were her 6&7th babies. All her others were born at 34wks, then she had her boys and Nick died, Kenny lived and has several problems. 2 yrs later she went on to have a healthy baby girl who stayed in until 34wks! So it can happen!!

tygr2410 07-21-2011 09:12 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I also agree that you should get a second opinion. I just hate docs who use scare tactics with patients.

Kissed by the Moon 07-21-2011 10:17 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
Thanks for the support and suggestions, ladies. I guess I need to find a new doctor, I'm just not sure on how I will know that the next one I pick is any better. I'd hate to just leapfrog around..I will have to try to be resourceful. I hadn't even thought about surrogacy. I'll have to research that too, though I don't know that dh would go for that (he loves my belly when pregnant- think he'd be upset not to have it!). But if safety is involved, maybe..though it's very pricy isn't it? I also brought up adoption to him, but he threw that one out:P

So I guess I'm just debating how safe/unsafe it would be for me/baby and what can be done to reduce the risk. The hard part is that the safest is a vbac, then scheduled c, and last, a failed vbac to c section. So do I try for vbac and hope it's successful, or jump to the scheduled c section? hmm.

JustAugust 07-21-2011 10:24 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
I don't know... I almost think it's.... irresponsible to go into another pregnancy knowing you're likely to have another VERY early baby. My babies were only 3 and 5 weeks early and that is enough to make me reconsider a #3. I just feel like I want to give my babies the best start possible, and the possibility of having one earlier than 35 weeks is scary to me. I just would feel terrible knowing I am making the choice to put my own child through that much hardship so early on. :( I truly don't mean to be mean, I hope you don't take it that way. That's just my feelings on it, and why I would NOT have another if I were you (and seriously debate in my own situation). Is adoption not an option for you guys? Not everyone wants to adopt, but that's something we're considering. :hugs:

ktmelody 07-21-2011 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaBacon
I'm sorry but it sounds like you REALLY need a new dr. I'm very high risk too- had 4 preemies and 17 pregnancies with 19 babies and one was our daughter who had trisomy 18 and would die. I have an unknown clotting disorder- they just can't figure out which one that makes it tricky to figure out what meds I need to be on. Low progesterone, preterm labor that starts around 18wks for unknown reasons too, I've had pre-eclampsia with my 1st and pregnancy induced hypertension with all the others. Never once over the past 8 yrs did my OB try to scare me. She didn't sugar coat anything either. she just gave me the facts. Yes I have had 3 c/s. I was at higher risk for rupture. Add that to my PTL and we knew my goal was no longer than 35wks and we'd deliver. We laid out a game plan and she kept up on the current research into what we could do to help.

We decided to put me on mod. bedrest starting at 10wks and it gradually turned into full by 20wks. I was put on procardia to help my blood pressure and contractions, we did 17p injections with DS2 to help keep him in longer (they are very effective for almost everyone, just not me. I've had several friends deliver preemies - even micro preemies and go on to have full term next pg). We hooked me up to a home contraction monitor 2x a day starting at 24wks and every time they went over the threshold, I went to the hospital for terb shots. And if needed mag drip. I was on weekly apts from 10wks on and weekly ultrasounds from 14wks on. At 18wks we added in weekly ultrasounds to keep an eye on my cervix length because once it starts to shrink I usually deliver within a week or so. Yes it can be scary. But it all worked! I kept all my babies in until 34wks when they wanted to come much earlier. Never once did my OB say that I might die (yes anyone can die during childbirth, even low risk-homebirth moms). But I was encouraged to have my OB keep an watchful eye on me and I was encouraged to call and come get checked out anytime I thought something was 'off'. My OB never turned me away, all the nurses and other dr's knew my case some (my ob told them about it) and that way they were prepared too if I came in on a day she wasn't there.

For you I'd find a new dr and set up a game plan. You know you are going to have IC, so they can monitor it weekly or every other week with ultrasounds. I'm not sure why you were on bedrest but if it was for preterm labor there is a lot of things they can do to help out.

Having a dr you feel comfortable with is key. Perhaps look into a high risk dr and set up a consult. You should not feel scared because of what your dr said to you about having another baby. Heck for us my OB was scared for us, we had decided to get my one tube that is left tied with our last baby. The night she said we were delivering him DH and I were suddenly not sure. She looked at me and said she wouldn't do it if she was in our shoes. We weren't ready and she said if we wanted to ever have another baby, she would help us even if it is risky. So we didn't get the tubal. And I'm very thankful for that. If you have any questions about what to ask a new dr about procedures you can do to help make it farther I'd be happy to help.

Oh and on a side note, One of my friends had micro preemie twins- they were her 6&7th babies. All her others were born at 34wks, then she had her boys and Nick died, Kenny lived and has several problems. 2 yrs later she went on to have a healthy baby girl who stayed in until 34wks! So it can happen!!

You have 19 children!? Wow go mama!

Mama, get a second opinion. You seem at slightly higher risk but with a good doc those things can be overcome.
Good luck!

shortcake2386 07-21-2011 10:42 PM

Re: I'm high risk, not sure if benefits outweigh..
 
find a new dr. i love my dr but when we ttc again i will have to find a new one(way too far to drive:cry:) im so scared of finding one who is "as good" or better. i have a blood disorder that leads to PTL, IUGR, reduced blood flow to the placenta and clotting issues. we have lost every other baby:cry: ds stayed in until 36 w 2 d and i totally give all the credit to my awesome drs. for the first time in 5 pregnancies i was not on full bedrest, i got 17p injections starting at 16 weeks and ending at 35 weeks 2 days(the shot lasts a week and that was true in my case), baby aspirin daily, weekly u/s starting at 24 weeks(biweekly before that to check for cervical change). gosh i dont even remember what else. and guess what? i want more. at least 7 more:giggle: dh on the other hand is scared:cry: but im hoping he will come around...soon.
id call around. see if you can get some referrals from friends. maybe the dr will meet with you to talk before you actually become a patient??? GL


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