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carolineb 07-23-2011 03:14 PM

I really do love nursing my baby...
BUT...I'm having a hard time with the lack of personal space! I love the sitting down to nurse him and don't mind some of the comfort nursing he does, and the night feeds aren't bad since I co-sleep so I'm getting rest mainly. But I'm having a hard time with the feeling that I can't leave him at all. I have a friend who is able to keep him but it's not very often that she can. We usually do kid swaps so we can each do a solo run or bike ride. Ds always goes hysterical in the childcare at the gym or church so they always have to come get me cutting my workout short, etc. The only way he'll nap for any decent amount of time is if I hold him or wear him.

DH is sort of "afraid" to keep him for anytime unless I allow him to give him a bottle. I'm okay with that but I never can find time to pump so I don't ever have any milk available. I keep teetering on the idea of just buying a can of formula. If he just got an occasional bottle once every weekend or less then I probably wouldn't have to pump unless I felt engorged and then I would have my milk for the next bottle. Doing that I probably wouldn't finish a whole can before he hit a year. It would probably expire before then!

But pride keeps stepping in b/c DH kept asking to give him a bottle and I kept saying no. My goal was a year and no formula. I just don't know what to do. I'm just ready to get back into my biking and running and lose the baby weight. Also, my workout time is my only chance to have ANY time to myself so I REALLY need that time to regain my sanity.

I'm just so busy during the day that it never seems feasible to pump until all the kids are in bed. By then I am so tired I don't feel like pumping and when I have pumped I wouldn't get much.

How am I going to make it a year? And then some as I was going to let ds wean himself.

I made it to 4 months with my other 2, but by 3 months they were 50/50 bf/ff so it gradually got less bf until they weaned themselves so I didn't experience this "tied down" feeling with them except the early newborn days. But then I feel guilty for saying that I feel "tied down" to my baby.

This is something I wanted so much, and it has gone really well but sometimes it's just hard to be demanded of so much. I really want to ebf for a year but I also just want a little bit of freedom.

ayer79 07-23-2011 03:33 PM

I feel ya! I'm in the same boat. I started pumping 1 boob and feeding on the other a few times a week "Killing 2 birds with 1 stone". My problem is he WONT take a bottle! I'm working on it bc last time I went out for more than 3hrs, my hubby had to use a medicine dropper to tide him over until I got home. I also made a pumping bra by cutting small nipple holes in an old double lined sports bra. I can pump while putting on my makeup and doing my hair. Do what you can to keep your sanity! Good luck!

TNmommie 07-23-2011 03:33 PM

Re: I really do love nursing my baby...
Have you tried a paci? I know a lot of BFing moms don't like to use them, but it seems like its the only way I can get to the grocery store without DD melting down. She's 7 weeks now and I am able to leave her for 1.5-2 hours to run to the grocery store. DH knows I'm just a phone call away and if he can't get her calmed down or he can tell she's really hungry he calls me and I hurry home. She's our 3rd child also, so he's dealing with our 2 and 4 yr olds also.

Giving any formula is a bad idea, especially if she's never had it. you are introducing all kinds of allergens into their virgin guts. You have no idea how it will affect them. I would do that as a last ditch - there are absolutely no other options sort of thing. I have the 3 kids and manage to pump 2-3 times a day to get ready to go back to work. I"m able to put at least 2oz per day away, mostly 4oz per day. I usually pump first thing in the morning while the kids are eating breakfast and after DD has nursed and is asleep again. If you always pump at the same time your body will respond by making more milk at that time of day. I usually manage to pump again sometime in the mid-afternoon between 12 and 3pm. DD takes a long nap and so about 1.5 hours into her nap I pump. And then I pump at night before bed, but usually only get a small amount. If I am too tired I skip this one.

I would also suggest trying to pump one side while baby is nursing on the other side. You get better letdowns that way and you can let baby nurse after and it stimulates more milk production.

I understand wanting some "me" time, especially with 3 kids. But having the goal of BFing for 1 yr is so important to your LO. Surely you can do this for your baby!!! I nursed my last for 22 months and worked the entire time. You can do this!!! I also highly recommend going to a La Leche League meeting for support. Those women are very knowledgeable and are a great support network! Good luck!

heatherz1982 07-23-2011 03:55 PM

Re: I really do love nursing my baby...
I would try feeding one side only for the first couple of morning feedings when you have the most milk and then pumping the other side. Then you can build up a small supply of milk to have on hand for if you want to run some errands or something. Having frozen milk has helped me tremendously so I can leave DS with his granny while me and his dad run errands or go on a date:) He's 8 weeks old now and has no problems switching from breast to bottle. We use the MAM antic colic bottles, any bottle like that with the nipple that is closest to mom in shape is a good idea. When I'm with him, he only nurses but if I have to be away from him he gets expressed milk from a bottle. He's only had formula a bit here and there in case of emergency, it helped me keep my sanity a while back when my nipples were cracked and bleeding, that was awful and those couple of bottles helped keep me from giving up so it all worked out. We got a lot of samples of formula in the mail so I shouldn't have to ever buy a can LOL especially now that I have plenty of pumped milk in the fridge.

carolineb 07-23-2011 06:23 PM

Thanks for the encouragement mamas! DH had some work to do part of today but after he was done I had just gotten ds down for a nap and he said GO! I went for a quick run and ds was crying in his arms when I got back. He said he had only been up a few minutes. I took him from DH and he instantly stopped crying and smiled. The stinker! But he was happy to let dad hold him while kicking soccer with our other boys long enough for me to shower. I told DH I am going to start pumping more regularly. I will ask him to help 'remind' me to pump so I don't get lazy with it. hopefully I can at least get a bike ride or run alone on the weekend. I'm not sure how to handle his freaking out at the gym though.

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