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wildsissy 08-04-2011 09:59 PM

HELP! I need a break or something!
I'm feeling the need to TAKE A BREAK! Maybe my issue is that my husband just took an 8 day vacation and went camping/hiking/white water rafting/ site seeing trip with my sister and our 3 boys. I couldn't go because our 13 mo old DD doesn't do well in the car so Chicago to Montana 30 some odd hours in the car one way just wasn't happening. So maybe I'm just overwhelmed because it's been non stop for the past month.

Anyway.. I'm at the point where I haven't been able to get anything done for months. Since the LO has been mobile I have very little time without her. We co sleep so she sleeps in my armpit and it's not occuring to me that my body is tired. I don't feel tired but my body is starting to just feel weak if that makes sense. I pee/poo with her on my lap or standing in front of me. I shower with her OR with her standing outside the shower pulling on the curtain getting our floor wet. When she naps I am usually laying down with her and stay with her until she's been out about 20 minutes which means if I get 20-40 minutes to myself after I slip out of bed that's all the time I have to myself.

I fold clothes and she comes behind me and unfolds them or dumps the basket. If I'm trying to put dishes in the dishwasher she is pulling out the glasses and breaking them or pulling out the silverware. If I clean the bathroom she is in another room getting into something else making another HUGE mess normally.

She won't play with her toys/books and has to be entertained/supervised 24/7, if you turn your back for one second she is standing on the arm of the rocking chair or trying to walk down the 16 stair staircase (she fell once).

I'm at the end of my rope and my DH is constantly wondering why I can't get things done... I have told him before I get maybe 20 minutes per day to myself sometimes 40 minutes and normally that is enough time for me to shower or make myself something to eat.. but normally I just want to veg and catch up on my emails. I mean really.. 20 minutes is a normal day so scanning through my emails or FB is really all I get. I don't think he realizes how time consuming bfing is.

I've asked before how people get things done and other peoples days sound like mine but somehow they manage to get things done and I don't know how. It's insane and the worse my house gets the more out of control I feel... sighhhh

Comments, suggestions, thoughts, ideas.. whatever ya got..

Teahya&nikolais_mommy 08-04-2011 10:42 PM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!
I know exactly how you feel momma!! the only reason I am on right now is because I distracted mine with scooby doo for a few mins if that! I know I am bad tv ugh lol but I just needed a break! but soon enough they will be older and you are going to look back and think who cares if my house was messy because if I missed out on those times with my baby I would have never got them back! they grow so darn fast its crazy! but keeo your head high you can do it! and dont worry about the mess take your time enjoy your little one and makesure you do something you like to do every once in awhikle or you will burn out

aept 08-05-2011 12:27 AM

Will she tolerate being in a baby carrier, maybe on your back? You could try her first doing something exciting like a walk outside and then come in and do the dishes or "get something done".
It sure is a tough stage. Mine would go on my back a little while. With one kiddo I had to put my hair up in a bandanna to avoid it getting pulled, though!

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crunchymomof3 08-05-2011 12:47 AM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!
this is a hard age for sure :hugs: i agree on just letting it be , and trying your best to do what you can , does DH help you ? can he play with her when gets home to give you some me time .

wildsissy 08-05-2011 02:25 PM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!
Yeah I go to babywearing meetups all the time and have a few slings/wraps/buckle carriers and for whatever reason I can't get her on my back. She pushes off and freaks out when I throw her up there making it impossible to get the wrap or carrier up around her.

Yeah so today I wanted to go grocery shopping.. EPIC FAIL. she lost one of the LAST pair of shoes she has that fit her. sighhhh I can't even feel accomplished about grocery shopping because I spent a majority of the trip looking for the lost shoe and by the time I gave up she was screaming and didn't want to sit in the cart any longer. Just putting the items up on the belt to be scanned was a work out in itself. Luckily I went to CS and someone had brought the shoe up... sigh.

I think I figured out the other part of my problem.. I don't feel accomplished about ANYTHING in my life right now. I can't finish anything. sighhh

crunchymomof3 08-05-2011 02:40 PM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

aept 08-05-2011 03:53 PM

Not feeling accomplished about anything is something I have struggled with too. But you are accomplishing raising your kids, and it doesn't have to be perfect.
I am glad someone found your dd's shoe so you got I back!

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Pampered Mama 08-05-2011 05:08 PM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!
BTDT! What worked for us was putting DS to work- yes- even at that young of an age, you can redirect some of their energy into "helping" (though, in reality the only real help is that they are staying busy in your site and not making another mess somewhere else!)

Folding laundry- he loved to help pull clothes out of the dryer into the basket- or put dirty clothes into the washer. We played "find the socks" where he would go through the clean basket and pull out the socks and put them into a pile while I folded other things and put them into piles up on a higher surface he couldn't reach- "find the socks" can also work with washcloths, or anything that there are multiple of in that load. As he got a bit bigger, he was able to help fold wahscloths and small towels into squares- he's actually pretty good at it. Now at 34 mos, he also helps find socks that match. We talk about various things the whole time we are working and I praise him for being such a good helper when we are done.

Dishes- DS started out being given spoons one at a time to put in the dirty basket, now he does butter knives and forks as well. When putting away, he can take out the non sharps and stick them in the holder, as well as take out the plastics and put them in the cupboard.

He loves to crunch up boxes for recycling!

A dishtub with about a cup of dry rice or beans and a couple plastic measuring cups (with a dustbuster handy!) would keep him occupied for quite awhile while I cooked dinner.

mariamommy 08-05-2011 09:40 PM

Re: HELP! I need a break or something!
I know how you feel, my 14 month old is constantly hanging on my leg. I don't quite hold her while I'm peeing or showering though.

Babies that age like shoes. Fill a laundry basket with shoes and let her play with them while you fold laundry. :)

I know it is hard. hang in there!

carolineb 08-06-2011 11:57 AM

Man I would feel like I died and went to heaven if DH took my 2 older boys on a 8 day camping and hiking trip! Or that they were abducted by aliens because DH DOES NOT camp! And for some reason he seems unable to take care of the kids by himself! I've made it so easy on him....

But I totally could have written this post except my youngest is 4 months and he's totally attached to me. He'll tolerate DH for maybe an hour so I try to scoot off for a bike ride. But other than that all day and all night I am "on demand". I'm lucky if I get baby down by 9-10pm and lately he's been waking an hour or so after that. Also I homeschool so I really just have no time alone. Often Saturday's DH is needing to prepare a lesson for church the next day or has work stuff to do and he likes to go for bike rides too so I feel like once he's done with all his stuff THEN I can go for my bike ride. By then it's usually dinner time so I feel like my opportunity is gone.

I don't have any advice but I can sure understand!

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