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carolineb 08-07-2011 09:48 PM

How long will this last?
 
Every night it takes me a minimum of 1.5-2 hrs to get ds to bed. Most of that is comfort nursing and he'll always dribble milk down my arm. I usually wait for him to let go before putting him down but he often wakes. It's gotten even worse in the last few weeks since he learned to roll over. He's a belly sleeper so I put him down and gently roll him to his belly and he wakes up and rolls onto his back. Then he starts fussing but won't roll onto his belly (he can do this now). He's too young to CIO and I don't think I'd want him to anyway but I would just like him to get to bed earlier. I usually start by 7:30 and it's often 9-9:30 before I FINALLY get him down and now in the last few weeks he's been waking an hour after that when he had been sleeping 6-7 hours!

Help me get my evenings back! It's the only time I have to regain my thoughts and sanity from the day or time with DH.

luvmybabes85 08-07-2011 10:06 PM

Re: How long will this last?
 
Try laying him down on his back instead of rolling him on his tummy, maybe the rolling motion is waking him? Maybe he might need to be put down earlier? Also try a fan for white noise and possibly a pacifier (mine never took one but it's worth a shot sometimes for sanity:blush:). it's all trial and error and getting a routine established so hang in there and good for you for avoiding the CIO system:thumbsup:!

VeganCupcake 08-07-2011 10:19 PM

Re: How long will this last?
 
My DS is done for the day at 6:30-6:45 (he doesn't STTN, but he needs to go to bed then). I once heard a "sleep expert" (ha ha) say that she guaranteed that babies are tired by 6:30 and an early bedtime would help them STTN. So I would try starting the process earlier and see if that makes any difference.

TeaSquare 08-07-2011 11:13 PM

Re: How long will this last?
 
Could your son be associating nursing with sleeping? Most babies do not have the skill to fall asleep on their own. Wait, how old is he?

My daughter was sleeping twelve hours straight a night but then learnt how to roll like your son at around 5 months and kept waking up because while she could roll, her neck wasn't strong enough so her head ended up being buried in the mattress. There was nothing we could do but stay up to roll her back. We did this for at least several weeks :banghead:

Eventually she had strong enough neck support to sleep on her belly with her head facing the side.

Consult with your doctor if you're uncomfortable with letting him sleep on his belly.

I understand how frustrated you feel but this time will pass!

proudmama4 08-08-2011 09:06 AM

Re: How long will this last?
 
Yes, how old is your LO? My son did this for several months, but I realize now, I was putting him to bed WAY too late. What is your bedtime routine?

I was not OK w/ CIO either w/ my first. With my twins, I did do FIO (fuss it out :) ) I wouldn't let them cry, but I was OK with a little fussing for 5-10 minutes. I would always give them 5-10 mintutes when they woke up from naps too, to make sure they wouldn't fall back to sleep and sleep another hour. (They do that often.)

carolineb 08-08-2011 11:21 AM

He's 4 months. It's possible he's associating nursing with sleeping. It's what he's had since birth. Last night after working with him for an hour and a half (nursing rocking nursing etc) I had to put him down and walk away. I was getting frustrated. I let him fuss/cry for a few minutes and went back in and rolled him back over, gave him the paci and rubbed his back. He FINALLY fell asleep after 5 minutes or so. He slept from about 10-2 then I co-slept with him after that.

Naps during the day are difficult too. He will usually take a decent one in the morning but the rest of the day naps are on me or with me. It's just so hard and tiring that all day from the moment I wake up until I go to bed (and then during the night too) he's either attached to me in a carrier or attached to my boob. He feels like a permanent fixture! For the most part I'm totally okay with that, but other days I just want my body to myself.

My older 2 got a bottle pretty early and one every night. It gradually changed to more bottles until they weaned at about 4 months. I was disappointed so I really committed to ebf this time. In a lot of ways it's been everything I had hoped but I have to admit I didn't expect some of the other things too.

proudmama4 08-08-2011 12:39 PM

Re: How long will this last?
 
Now is right around the age your baby is regulating daytime sleep. 2-3 naps a day is normal at this age. Naps can now finally start being predictable.

Morning nap: Think 1-2 hours (1 hour at first) after morning wake-up. Yes, after being up for only 1 hour, it's time for the first morning nap! This nap generally happens between 8am-10am.

Midday nap: A rule of thumb is your baby shouldn't be up for more than 2 hours at a time. So after the morning nap, have your baby up for 2 hours and then put him down for his second nap. This nap generally happens in the 12-2pm range.

Afternoon nap: Depending on when the midday nap was, and when wake up was your baby may or may not have late day nap. This generally happens between 3-5pm.

Naps should be at least 1 hour in length. Anything under an hour really isn't restorative sleep. If you baby wakes up crying, that's probably a sign they are over tired.

Bedtime: Between 9 and 12 weeks you should have notice your baby wanted to go to bed earlier. Before babies tend to go to bed 9, 10, or 11pm. Between 9 and 12 weeks they start to show needing to go to bed at 6, 7, or 8pm! At 4 months my twins were going to bed at 6 and 6:30, and sleep thru till about 6:15! How cool is that? Sleep begets more sleep. So we all think keep them up so they'll sleep longer. Try to not listen to that, because it's not true. They will not sleep longer and just be fussy.

You should consider any wake up before 5:30am as a night wake up, and do what you need to get them back to sleep (nurse/sooth/whatever) After 5:30 (goal is a wake up time between 6 and 7am) consider the day started, and put back for a morning nap after 1 hour.

At first get your LO to sleep however works for you, and try your best to put him down for his nap. YOU NEED YOUR FREEDOM! This might take some time. You're baby might fuss for a little, but certainly don't let them scream. Once he is on a good sleep schedule, you can start holding him for his naps every now and then for those special moments. It will give you the freedom to hold him or put him down. You won't be a slave to him! :) Also once he start sleeping a good schedule, you can start to try to get him to fall asleep on his own. Nurse him and then put him down. Now is a good time to start a nap/bedtime routine. Dim lights, reading a story, nursing, etc. routines don't need to be long, and you can shorten them if baby is really needing to get to sleep.

Sorry so long. Hope this helps and I hope it doesn't come across bossy. I've got limited time, and just trying to get it all down on screen quickly. Let me know if you have questions on what I've said. This all comes from my sleep book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It worked for all 3 of my kids, and I'm not big on CIO. I nurse to sleep a lot, and this book still works wonders for our family!

carolineb 08-15-2011 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by proudmama4
Now is right around the age your baby is regulating daytime sleep. 2-3 naps a day is normal at this age. Naps can now finally start being predictable.

Morning nap: Think 1-2 hours (1 hour at first) after morning wake-up. Yes, after being up for only 1 hour, it's time for the first morning nap! This nap generally happens between 8am-10am.

Midday nap: A rule of thumb is your baby shouldn't be up for more than 2 hours at a time. So after the morning nap, have your baby up for 2 hours and then put him down for his second nap. This nap generally happens in the 12-2pm range.

Afternoon nap: Depending on when the midday nap was, and when wake up was your baby may or may not have late day nap. This generally happens between 3-5pm.

Naps should be at least 1 hour in length. Anything under an hour really isn't restorative sleep. If you baby wakes up crying, that's probably a sign they are over tired.

Bedtime: Between 9 and 12 weeks you should have notice your baby wanted to go to bed earlier. Before babies tend to go to bed 9, 10, or 11pm. Between 9 and 12 weeks they start to show needing to go to bed at 6, 7, or 8pm! At 4 months my twins were going to bed at 6 and 6:30, and sleep thru till about 6:15! How cool is that? Sleep begets more sleep. So we all think keep them up so they'll sleep longer. Try to not listen to that, because it's not true. They will not sleep longer and just be fussy.

You should consider any wake up before 5:30am as a night wake up, and do what you need to get them back to sleep (nurse/sooth/whatever) After 5:30 (goal is a wake up time between 6 and 7am) consider the day started, and put back for a morning nap after 1 hour.

At first get your LO to sleep however works for you, and try your best to put him down for his nap. YOU NEED YOUR FREEDOM! This might take some time. You're baby might fuss for a little, but certainly don't let them scream. Once he is on a good sleep schedule, you can start holding him for his naps every now and then for those special moments. It will give you the freedom to hold him or put him down. You won't be a slave to him! :) Also once he start sleeping a good schedule, you can start to try to get him to fall asleep on his own. Nurse him and then put him down. Now is a good time to start a nap/bedtime routine. Dim lights, reading a story, nursing, etc. routines don't need to be long, and you can shorten them if baby is really needing to get to sleep.

Sorry so long. Hope this helps and I hope it doesn't come across bossy. I've got limited time, and just trying to get it all down on screen quickly. Let me know if you have questions on what I've said. This all comes from my sleep book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It worked for all 3 of my kids, and I'm not big on CIO. I nurse to sleep a lot, and this book still works wonders for our family!

This is very helpful, thank you! I have the healthy sleep habits book, I just can't seem to get the time to myself to sit down and read it!

We are really struggling with daytime sleep. I can get him to sleep either by nursing or rocking/pacifier, but once I put him down he wakes up right away or shortly after, even if I hold him awhile before putting him down. He ends up way overtired and cranky and I can't get anything done. I do wear him for many naps but I don't want to wear him for every nap!

colin-mylilguy 08-15-2011 07:06 PM

Re: How long will this last?
 
Dr. Sears has a good book on AP, BF and sleep. That's where I got the understanding that there is a window of opportunity when you get baby to sleep, that you can put them down. So, with LO, I nurse him to sleep, usually in the side-lying position in my bed. When he is asleep for about 10-15 minutes, no more than 20, I do the "pantley pull" (from the "no cry sleep solution" book by elizabeth pantley - SP?) and if LO closes his mouth and stays still, I gently roll out from under him and I gently roll him onto his tummy at the same time. If, when I pull out my nipple, he opens his mouth and roots, I put it back in and we nurse a little longer. When he's asleep after I roll out from under him, I bring my laptop into the room and I sit nearby, so that if he stirs a little before its been a full hour, I pat his bottom. I can usually count to 100 while patting him gently and he'll be back asleep. If he's been sleeping for at least an hour, and he starts to stir, I hop in bed and nurse him while his eyes are still shut and usually he'll sleep another hour or more.

At night, I let him nurse till he pops off. That's our cuddle time. He usually goes 1-2 hours, but I don't mind. I just read or do stuff on the computer while he nurses. Then I go hang with DH for an hour or so before we go to bed. Oh, and like the PP said, an earlier bedtime might really help. My LO goes down between 6:30 and 7:30 pm and that has helped him a lot. (and me!)

I agree with the PP, that you need to be able to have some time to yourself while he naps. I hold LO for an entire nap from time to time, when I can but if I can't, I put him down either in my bed or his. Its easier if he's in my bed, though, to nurse him back to sleep if that happens.

Good luck! I hope it gets easier for you. In the meantime, though, remember this is such a short time and it will pass so quickly.


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