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Christylkeller 08-08-2011 09:11 AM

17 week loss
Hi mommas! We recently lost our son at 17 weeks. I went through labor and delivery. Just wondering if anyone else chose this route with their 2nd tri loss and how long it took before AF and fertility returned. Also, how long does the bleeding usually last? Also, how long did you wait to TTC again. I know the politically correct medical advise is 3 to 6 months, but did any of you start 'not preventing' right after? Thanks for your thoughts and for sharing!

mommieleah74 08-08-2011 09:41 AM

Re: 17 week loss
I have never gone through this but I just wanted to say I am so sorry and I will say a prayer for you. :) Hugs mama!

finleyjudemommy 08-08-2011 10:46 AM

Re: 17 week loss
Hey mama,

I am so sorry to read of your loss. I had a loss at almost 24 weeks last October. I chose to go through labor and delivery. I think my bleeding was only a couple of weeks. I got PPAF back 7 weeks to the day of delivery. As for fertility...well, I'm challenged in that department so I can't answer that question.

:hugs: to you!

stevensmom 08-08-2011 10:49 AM

Re: 17 week loss
:hugs: I'm so sorry sister lost her Thomas at 18 weeks and went throught l&d too.

I really don't know when she got AF back. She had Thomas June 09 and got pregnant with their 4th (had 2 m/c before Thomas) January 10. So took them 6 months from delivery to conceive again. But I don't know when they started trying again.

wordmama 08-08-2011 03:09 PM

I don't have any advice (all my losses have been first tri) but I couldn't read and not offer you hugs and my condolences. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

menthomas 08-08-2011 05:02 PM

Re: 17 week loss
I went through a loss at 19 weeks (baby had died at 16 weeks) and went through l&d. I am very sorry for your loss, it is heartbreaking. I got AF 6 weeks later, and then in two months got my DS's bfp. We were given the go ahead to start right away, it was an obvious chromosomal abnomality that wasn't hereditary. I hope you're are healing as best as possible, nothing worse than loosing a child.

MaBacon 08-08-2011 05:54 PM

Re: 17 week loss
I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our Abby at 17wks also. We chose to labor and deliver her so we could hold her and say our good-byes. We also chose to cremate her.

I had normal AF bleeding that lasted about 2 weeks. I took a HPT around the time I stopped bleeding to make sure It was back to negative. That next week I O'd and one month to the day I took a test and it was positive! (NOT planned at all) I never had PPAF at all. My Ob said we were to wait at least 2 months before trying again, but God had other plans for us. It was a bit rough to deal with our loss and a new pregnancy all at the same time. I wouldn't advise it, but it was handed to us. And I love our little man so much. But I do still get hit by the grief of losing Abby. I think the harder part is watching our kids go through that grief too and knowing how much they love their new brother, but miss their sister as well.

Can I ask what you named your son? If you have any questions or just need someone to talk to you can PM me. ((HUGS)) again Mama to you and your family.

rosenfried2 08-08-2011 06:18 PM

Re: 17 week loss
:hugs: mama.. haven't experienced but praying for you!

purna079 08-08-2011 06:23 PM

Re: 17 week loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I had one at 11 weeks, so I can not give advise, but I was wondering and I don't want to seem rude for asking, but I am curious.

With a 2nd trimester loss, does your milk come in? At 11weeks, i did not have my milk come in, but I was wondering when that does happen and what you have to do if it does come in.

Christylkeller 08-08-2011 07:29 PM

Re: 17 week loss
Thanks everyone for the hugs and condolences. I wish no family had to go through this grief. It is so hard some days. We don't know why this happened. There were no physical signs of abnormality or of a chromosomal problem. The cord and placenta looked healthy. We chose not to do the Kryo testing. We have been told that this isn't likely to repeat itself in future pregnancies.

My son's name is Elias. And I was blessed to be able to go through L&D. It was the first time that I have been able to do that since my other 3 children were born by C/S. It was wonderful and heart wrenching to give birth to him, say hello and goodbye all at the same time. We were able to bring him home with us, which allowed our other 3 children a chance to say goodbye as well. We struggled with how much to let them see, but in the end we followed their lead and let them see their brother, hold him and say goodbye. We buried him on our property and created a memorial garden for him.

Anna- yes, my milk came in. That was awful and fortunately only lasted a few days. There isn't much you can do for it, except wear snug fitting bras and avoid all stimulation.

Jen- What you experienced with getting pregnant right after is actually my prayer. We struggle to conceive. All of my children are spaced according to God's plan. I am just praying that his plan isn't a 2-3 yr wait again.

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