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Willum'smom 08-12-2011 03:24 AM

Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
My LO is currently 6 months old. I am loving nursing! I don't think there is any way I am going to give it up at twelve months just because my son has hit a year old. The problem is that my DH has indicated that he is not too excited about breastfeeding past a year. Did anyone have a husband who was resistant to the idea that came around? Any tips? I would like to start "working on him" now, if you know what I mean.

cherrycoke 08-12-2011 04:30 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
Have you read the extended breastfeeding thread that's been stickied? Lots of good info in there. If your DH doesn't want to read anything (like mine), just tell him your LO will probably be sick less than weaned babies. So if he wants to wean, he can clean up any illness-related mess ;)

MyCrazy8 08-12-2011 05:49 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
Tell him the WHO recommends 2 years of breastfeeding.

Luckily mine understood that it's up to the child when to stop.

CurtsBabyMama 08-12-2011 10:19 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
Mine was hesitant, and even more hesitant when we found out I was expecting and DS was not yet a year old. I found lots of info for him on extended BFing and the benefits of letting DS selfwean and now he has come around. DS is now going on 13 months and I am 5 months pregnant and we are still going strong!

VeganCupcake 08-12-2011 10:26 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
I really didn't know how long we would nurse, so when DD was younger and DH would talk about her weaning, I didn't have much to say either way. I guess I used the smile and nod strategy.

Neither of us imagined she would nurse this long (she will be 3 next month) and she is not ready to wean yet. She nurses two or three times a day only, and now she goes to sleep without nursing, so it really isn't burdensome at all, and nursing honestly doesn't affect DH's parenting in the least. She accepts comfort from us, him especially, in other ways (hugs, snuggling, reading stories together, etc.) so it's not our only tool for comforting her.

We did nightwean around 18 months, which made a huge difference in how I felt overall. I think that's worth doing if your baby still wakes at night to nurse after 12 months.

Kriket 08-12-2011 10:34 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
mine was hesitant too (once even tried to say 6m was a good time to wean) honestly... this isnt his business. this is me and LO. i don't go balistic when DH fills DS up with chips and crap while I have a decent dinner cooking, he shouldn't care how long i nurse.

now, if it affected the family, like i had to be away and i want dh to chauffer LO back and forth just to nurse. of if i need to find employment, but don't want to because i have a 16m old to nurse... that is his business and we should talk about it

carolineb 08-12-2011 11:03 AM

my DH thinks anything beyond the first couple months is extended bf! Sigh...with my first I just didn't really know any better and hadn't known anyone to ext bf so we decided to give ds a bottle at night starting around 3 weeks. I didn't own a pump and just didn't know how it would affect me so obviously my supply started dropping and he got more and more bottles until I just ran dry by 4 months. I thought I was okay with it but i regretted it. So with ds 2 I said NO BOTTLES! well, I didn't co-sleep so I was exhausted and "felt empty" and still just didn't understand newborn behavior so I finally gave in and gave a bottle. I bought a pump and tried pumping but couldn't get much and didn't realize how different a pump is from the baby. Once again I gave up on pumping and my supply was affected and he was gradually weaned until 4 months. BTW, I didn't do on demand nursing. I followed the idea of a "schedule".

Along comes ds3 and I said THIS TIME no bottles! I read more and changed my philosophy but DH didn't. I co-slept fed on demand and even in the early weeks I felt MUCH better than I did with the others. I wasn't as tired and my recovery was easier. I part time co sleep now and DH is okay with that. But he has still asked about bottles and that has been an ongoing discussion between us.

Ds has had a couple bottles but he just doesnt take them well. It is harder on me b/c I can't really be away much but this is what I wanted. But I still get pressure from DH and his mom to do bottles and formula and "real food".

DH says he would rather they get formula and eat more fruits and veggies as kids than to be bf and eat Mac and cheese and nuggets. I bring up the recommendations and he just blows them off as unrealistic and thinks by bf I am making things harder on us.

I think in our busy modern culture we have seem to forgotten that babies are designed to be that attached to the mom. It's survival depends on the constant connection but it seems that everyone thinks that babies should be put down, don't hold them all day, pass them around, etc.

Anyway I guess this got long but I am dealing with a DH that doesn't "get it" but I'm pretty much going to do what I want!

ollie_mama 08-12-2011 11:40 AM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
DH just asked me the other day, 'Are you going to breastfeed her forever?' (dd is 15 mo) I said I will bf as long as me and her both want to :) I don't think he cares all that much but would prob think its weird once she's 2 or 3, but it's up to mommy and baby to decide when to wean not daddy.

mommyria2 08-12-2011 12:36 PM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
DH is a little funny about it but he knows not to mess with me. He was a huge support for me when we were having bfing troubles and he encouraged me when I was feeling frustrated so I think he gets that I'm not just going to give it up b/c of an arbitrary date. He understands the benefits of it and doesn't seem to have a problem "sharing the boobs" lol. I think he's worried about how other people will judge us, family and strangers, but I could care less... My line is "He'll wean before college". I find that shuts people up.

jenmm 08-12-2011 12:47 PM

Re: Anyone's DH resistant to extended breastfeeding
Oh, yeah. My dh has never been around anyone who ever believed in EBF before he met me. There is no support from him, my family or his family. My ds is 2.5 and I'm tandem breastfeeding both ds and my dd (she's 7 mos). It's my body, it's got health benefits and both ds and dd will wean when they're ready. Regardless of what anyone else says/thinks!!!

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