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jellybelly37 10-31-2011 06:59 AM

If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
I guess it's kinda late in the game to be asking this question... but my DD is really excited for the baby coming. She talks about it all the time and she has decided she's going to be a nurse when she grows up (she's 3.5). She wants to be my nurse when I have the baby :giggle:. Anyhow, DH and I were just talking about what happens if I go into labour during the night, should we wake her up? I definitely wouldn't wake up the 21 month old, I would gladly let her sleep through it, she has no real idea of what is going on. But do you think my older daughter would be upset if she missed the whole thing? Anybody else had this experience?

ommelissa 10-31-2011 07:10 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
I'm doing everything I can to make sure my older kids are out of the house for this birth. But my oldest shows an interest in being present. She's nine. The problem is that I'm in no state to care for anyone but myself in late labor. I can't answer questions at all, and I definitely have a "deer in the headlights" moment when I feel the urge to push (and feel the stretching, lol).
She tends to freak out when someone gets hurt in any way, and I have to consider that things don't always go as planned. If there is a problem, she would need a whole team of people to calm her down. So, I think it's best if she's not there.
THat said, I have no idea what to do with my youngest. He'll be 18 months old at birth time.

need some diaps! 10-31-2011 07:14 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
My oldest were asleep and everything ended up going so fast that the midwife didn't even make it!! I wasn't sure either but figured if they were up we would deal with it then. Like I said we had no time to wake anyone up but I know they were sure excited the next morning! So much so that no questions were asked about why we didn't wake them up! See how it goes and congratulations!!

doulamomma 10-31-2011 07:24 AM

My odd was just over 3.5 at this last birth. I just asked her if sje wanted me to wake her up. She said yes,i said ok. I ended up going in the morning,so it wasnt an issue. Ive had a home birth with my 25 mo present, and my second birth the girls were 20mo and 44mo. They did awesome at both births. We did tons of prep. Talked about births, made birth noises, watched videos, read books.etc

Sent via my phone using swype. Beware of typos :)

KandFsMomma 10-31-2011 07:39 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
I would wake her up. My DD was my Little Doula at my Son's Births.
DD had just turned 4, and she was with me for the entire thing. She was stroking my hair while I was in the birth tub, and she told me that we had a Son after he was born. (The whole time I was pregnant she kept saying that she wanted a sister, when her brother was born she said "I never knew a brother could be so cute! I love him!"
I would not have changed a thing, it was amazing.

MamatoGreta 10-31-2011 08:28 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
My kids have been present for all my births. My oldest dd was only 14 months when dd2 was born. She snuggled with Nana in the corner of the room and every time I made noise she would say "mama, baby". She is intelligent beyond her years though, and very much understood that there was a baby coming out.

When my third was born, a year ago, I had my first homebirth. I was already very much in labor when they woke up, they actually slept in, not sure how they did that only 15 feet away. My oldest was very excited (3 years, 3 months), she really wanted to be there. We told her in advance though that we would not wake her up if it was the middle of the night. We talked about it a lot and she knew that might happen. When she did wake up, she was AWESOME. Every time I finished a contraction she would rub my neck and kiss my forehead. :wub: She kept telling me "good job mama". DD2 was just over 2, and she did good too. She sat on DH's lap for a long time, then went to play for a while. She ended up walking back in the room just as I was lifting DS out of the water and exclaimed "A BABY"! It was adorable.

I'm due in December this time around and both dd1 and dd2 are very excited to be there for the birth. They will be 4 1/2 and just under 3 1/2. Again, we are explaining to them that it might happen in the middle of the night, and if it does we won't wake them up. They are okay with that. DS will only be 13 months, so we will just play it by ear for him. DH may end up holding him or taking him downstairs.

KiltedKingdom 10-31-2011 08:41 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
I won't be waking any of my kids up (on purpose) if I have this kid at night, but I'm not going to tell them that they can't watch, either. My oldest was there for most of my labor with my last one, he left when he saw me "bleeding from my butt" but came right back in as soon as DS was born. Before that, though, I've never had a kid request to be there for the birth. Almost all my kids were born at night, so I haven't "kicked them out" either.

Mamatoabunch 10-31-2011 11:40 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
For my last 8 HB's my kiss were all in the house, some wanted to see the birth some didn't. It just depended on my mood if I wanted them present or not, in the moment.

julsie 10-31-2011 07:35 PM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
You could wake her up just after the birth. She can still be involved with helping dress the baby or bringing you something to drink, but won't risk distracting you during labor or getting in the way at a critical moment. And "we'll wake you up when the baby comes" is a promise you can keep, no matter how fast things go.

jellybelly37 11-01-2011 12:49 AM

Re: If you had a homebirth, with older siblings around.
Yeah.... I just don't know. She says she really wants to see the baby come out, but I'm sure she doesn't know ALL that is involved! We've watched a few videos but I am not sure if she will get distressed seeing me in pain and bleeding or not. Oh well... guess we'll just take it as it comes.

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