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-   -   What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1306242)

marenmccoy 11-06-2011 11:54 AM

What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
Back in August I had heard that two friends of mine from college had twins. We don't really stay in touch anymore, but I had caught wind of it vaguely on Facebook, like you do.

Well last night I was thinking about them and missing them and wanting to see how they were doing. This is when I found out that the twins were born at 25 weeks and are still in the hospital. There is a lot of detail at thier CarePages. It looks like it's been quite a journey so far with many surgeries, etc. but they are both up to almost 4 lbs at this point, so that seems hopeful.

I feel terrible that I didn't realize the situation sooner. We live a couple of hours away from them. I'm not sure what I can/should do besides just saying "I'm thinking about you." For those who have experience with preemies, is there anything practical I can do to help? Do you think they are already inundated with little homemade knit preemie hats and gift cards and things? If not, can I send those things to them at the hospital? Is there something else that I haven't even thought of?

Also, I know everyone is different about how they feel about things, but is there anything that people always say to the parents of preemies that I should avoid saying? It seems like the kind of situation that would create I-wish-they-would-just-shut-up statements.

Thank you for your help.

ChelseaGirl7 11-06-2011 04:55 PM

I would think gift cards would still be appreciated. You could do gift cards for food, baby items (target or baby stores), gas (for driving to and from the hospital), or stuff for mom.

The things that I can think of that you want to avoid saying would be first, "your so lucky you didn't have to go through the last few months of pg", or something similar to this. Also I would avoid asking if they know when the babies will come home. This is similar to asking a pg women who is past her edd if she has had that baby yet. And honestly, if the statement starts with "at least", you may want to rethink it.
That's all I can think of right now. It is great that you thought of asking this.

vmomma 11-08-2011 02:03 AM

Re: What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
I had a internet friend send a tiny knit set for my babe and it was the first thing she ever wore. It was the sweetest thing anyone did for me while V was in the NICU. For us, there was not an abundance of hats and such. Plus, coming from a friend it means so much more. If you do send clothing, I would size them around 4-5 lbs. Many NICU's don't allow the babes to wear clothing until they can maintain their temperature in an open crib. Since NB clothing is easy to come by, preemie size would be a fabulous gift.

Your so sweet for thinking about your friend xoxo

newwife777 11-08-2011 02:38 AM

Re: What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
My first thought was gift cards and something small for the babies. GCs for gas, food, groceries, coffee, etc! Do you guys have mutual friends that are closer distance wise to them? You could get specifics from them- gas stations, grocery chains, etc.

I don't know how mailing stuff to a hospital would work, if you can find out which hospital you could contact them and ask.

I 2nd the teeny tiny outfits suggestion. I don't know where they are in the country, but seeing as how it's November, the weather is changing, so something for cooler weather might be nice.

coy_coy1 11-13-2011 07:50 AM

Re: What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ChelseaGirl7 (Post 14075051)
I would think gift cards would still be appreciated. You could do gift cards for food, baby items (target or baby stores), gas (for driving to and from the hospital), or stuff for mom.

The things that I can think of that you want to avoid saying would be first, "your so lucky you didn't have to go through the last few months of pg", or something similar to this. Also I would avoid asking if they know when the babies will come home. This is similar to asking a pg women who is past her edd if she has had that baby yet. And honestly, if the statement starts with "at least", you may want to rethink it.
That's all I can think of right now. It is great that you thought of asking this.

I agree with Chelseagirl7. Giftcards for those categories are excellent. Being far away it would be difficult to provide a home cooked meal for the family, but maybe there is delivery service for local restaurants in their area?
The worst thing people asked was "when will baby come home". I didn't really know the answer to that question & felt so helpless when having to respond to that. I was asked it so many times, it was awful. Positive support, prayer & love is the best gift.

DH-MadlyInLove 11-20-2011 12:02 AM

Re: What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
Definitely gift cards for restaurants or gas. We had a 26 weeker and spent tons of money driving the 45 minutes daily to visit him. We never had much time to eat either, so spent a lot at the restaurant nearby. There were some people who put together some care packages and the most helpful were the cards for gas and food. We also loved when someone organized for others to bring us dinner one day a week. That homemade meal was awesome.

veggiemomma 11-20-2011 01:35 PM

Re: What can I do for my out of town friends with micropremie twins?
 
Anything to let them know you are thinking about them. When your babies are in the NICU it's like you're living in a strange alternate reality and like PP mentioned you eat out a lot and have high expenses for things like gas and parking.
Avoid comments like those mentioned, but I found when people don't know what to say they stop talking and that's really isolating, so reach out to them if they seem up to it.


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