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-   -   11 years older than DP (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1332349)

pickeljuice 01-05-2012 02:35 AM

11 years older than DP
 
so here it is. I am 36 years old my fiance is 25. we have one child together, a dd 1 year old. he lives with his mom still. I live with my ds 8 and dd 1. I also have a dd 14 and a ds 17 that do not live with me full time. I have been with dp for over 2 years.
Sometimes the age difference is really too much, he doesn't get jokes or doesn't know what I am taking about:headscratch: but in the beginning it didn't matter. and as time goes on it still doesn't. except........... he is really immature, I guess I had a lot of growing up to do when we met. I have come a long way. He has really helped me thru so much. We both stopped drinking together. We just have this connection, I cant explain it. but he has a bad temper and sometimes he hurts my feeling really bad and I have trust issues. so i am finding that I don't trust him very much any more with my deep personal stuff. he used to be my friend too. I guess I am just feeling alone in my relationship and that sucks

ecbcmomma 01-05-2012 05:28 AM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
:hugs:

pickeljuice 01-15-2012 01:42 AM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ecbcmomma (Post 14393671)
7I am 5 years older than dh. I think he is very immature too although he has grown a lot. We have been together for almost 8 years. Everything was fine at first here but then he became angry a lot too. I think it is due to our age difference like he feels he has something to prove. At least he is not living with you. If you don't like how he is acting now I wouldn't let that happen just yet. 8 years ago I felt as if we could read eachothers thoughts now I'm not so sure about all that. Just know there is always a choice and the choice is yours. :hugs: Sit back for a few and think.

thank you. I have so much going on right now. I would love to just spill on line but... i could not handle the bad posts from others who wouldn"t understand.......

butterflygirl71 02-29-2012 07:45 AM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
Hi mama!
I know this is an older thread but if you are still here, I will listen. I have not done my intro yet. But I am 16 years older then my DH :blush: I am 41 and he is 24. We have a 8mo old and I also have 4 other kids. I know all about the trials of this type of relationship. I am here if you want to chat. :hugs: No judgement here mama!

Renee

pickeljuice 03-13-2012 06:04 PM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
thank you! its been really tough these last few weeks. I have been staying at my house a lot. I just don't know what to do. I do care about him. He is just so ugg!
I need to just walk away but how can i? I used to think he understood me. but lately he says things and I am asking myself if maybe he has deep physiological problems. because he doesn't know **** about me. he is always thinking I ma thinking bad stuff about him....... I dont. I think he needs some help. its hard to talk about, and I know he has a long road ahead of him. Just like I did when I was his age. I guess the question is am I willing to wait? what 10 years until he is where I am now? I want to get married. I want to live with my partner. I wan tto own a home.

LaughingPeaMama 03-22-2012 07:55 PM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
That's a tough one mama. Have you thought of couples counseling. It might help him see he needs help beyond the normal everyday stuff but since you are with him it might seem less threatening. I will say it is extremely hard to admit you have a problem and need help. I fought post partum depression for over a year before I finally realized what I was feeling wasn't normal and for guys it is worse. If you are serious about sticking with it then you have a tough road ahead. I hope it all works out in your best interest whatever that may be

SugarAndSpiceX3 03-23-2012 02:46 PM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
If you want to talk, I'm here. I'm the opposite (DP is 20 years older than me. He is 43, Im almost 23). I do sometimes feel like I have something to prove. I feel inadequate when he has to "teach" or explain something to me. It's a personal confidence issue, but in my head, I'm like "what if he gets sick of having to do this?" or "he wouldn't have to do/teach/explain x if he was with someone older." Then I have to remind myself that he is with me for a reason, he is my best friend even after knowing all about my bad past, he supported me through a cancer diagnosis/treatment, and if he was going to get tired of teaching/explaining/ect things to me, he would've a long time ago. I really do credit my sanity to him, and I don't feel like I'll ever really be worthy of him, but I'm sure blessed, and I tell him how much I appreciate his help and guidence every chance I get. Maybe he is just feeling a little insecure? Sometimes DP has to remind me that he packed me and 3 kids up and moved us across the country because he loved and wanted us, not because he had to. I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much, and I know this is old, but I just wrote a post like this, just in the opposite person. I just wanted to offer you the thoughts of someone from the other shoes. I hope things work out for the best for you both!

pickeljuice 04-07-2012 12:55 AM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't :(
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.

SugarAndSpiceX3 04-07-2012 10:02 PM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pickeljuice (Post 14914222)
just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't :(
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.

It may be hard, but be proud. You have said it. When I left my ex it was terribly hard for me, too. Especially when I realized I'd always love him as a person, but I wasn't in love with him and didn't want to be. We also had a very rocky relationship, but in leaving him, I found the person that I really believe is my soulmate. Good luck to you and :hugs::hugs::hugs:! You are strong and you can do it!

Almacham 04-09-2012 11:36 AM

Re: 11 years older than DP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pickeljuice (Post 14914222)
just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't :(
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.

:hugs: I'm sorry.

Sometimes with mental disorders you do get worse before you get better, but hopefully eventually as long as he is taking the correct meds and keeps seeing his psychiatrist he WILL get better.

Just don't burden yourself with worry for him. Take care of yourself and your kiddos and do what you need to do for you & them. Stay strong, mama.


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